168: Philip Folsom - on Connecting, Kinship, and Tribes

Breaking Ordinary with Andy Petranek

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When you consider the fact that human beings have been living in tribes and communities for the entirety of our existence, there couldn't be a more important time to talk about how to create that connection than now... in this time of distancing and isolation during the COVID19 crisis.

Philip is an anthropologist, an expert in the four archetypes as they relate to the hero’s journey, a ropes-course master, and has served as a consultant, trainer, and guide for high performing teams all over the country.

In this conversation, we cover all of the following (and more):

• The importance of connection and community celebration
• How shining light on others in your tribe builds trust, camaraderie, collective success, and honor.
• Why tribe is so important, especially right now
• How to shift from isolation to connection
• How to empower yourself to thrive in today’s environment by choosing it.
• The 3 pillars of kinship

I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did!

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Notes:

We also start connecting when feeling isolated

Connection - shine a light on your tribe. When you win, I win and visa versa. Celebrate the wins of people in your tribe. Honor based cultures. Celebrating the collective success. Their success is your success.

The false narrative of the lone wolf - Hollywood glorified - Rambo, The Lone Ranger. Not powerful. The lone wolf starves to death in the wild. Humans are wired for inherent collaborative relationships.

Lone wolves under one banner don’t win… until they became team players. Toss and assist.

When isolated from the pack/tribe, it triggers a “death response” in the amygdala. That is why “shame” is such a significant trigger. It makes you feel like you’re not accepted… the threat of isolation/ex-communication. The brain releases cortisol - to prep to fight to survive. Shuts down non-vital organs and immune system.

Feeling isolated? Must start a protocol of connecting.

We are not socially distancing, we are physically distancing. We are tighter than ever today.

Pain, when unresolved, it becomes resentment, which then becomes contempt - and then it’s time for separation,

Perspective creates reality. When looking at this as enforced isolation, it’s externally enforced. When looking at this as solitude and it’s an opportunity for growth, reflection, healing, etc, it’s internally enforced. It’s a choice When it’s MY choice… I’m empowered. Ownership… don’t let someone else’s enforced rules become YOUR prison

When you can no longer change your situation, you’re forced to change yourself. - Victor Frankl

When in chaos, we must chunk it down into small amounts we can manage.

There are situations… but there are never problems. Problems are always in the past or in the future.

The apple represented metacognition. Self-awareness, what is going to happen in the future, and ultimately, death… the perfect recipe for anxiety, worry, fear. Humans have been cursed with remembering the past (regrets, depression), and thinking about the future (anxiety)... also a source of power - remembering the past (learn from it), thinking about the future (plan).. Yin Yang of our journey.

Resiliency in a sense of belonging.

WWII - the blitz of London - substantial drop in depression and anxiety and increased morale and resiliency got higher than ever. Trauma bonding.

Kinship pillars 1 purpose, why, vision 2 values - growth, service 3 mission

Connect with Philip

• https://www.mywolftribe.com/
• Philip on Facebook
• Philip on Instagram

Questions? Feedback?

• Email - [e-mail]
• Instagram - @andypetranek
• Facebook - @andypetranek
• Twitter - @andypetranek

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If you liked this episode, try these:

• 120 - Philip Folsom - on tribes, process, and taking the hard way
• 63 - Erin Cafaro - 2x Olympic Gold Medalist
• 97 - John Durant - author of the Paleo Manifesto