Breaking Free: Neil Strauss on Healing Trauma to Build Authentic Love | Ep59

The Mindvalley Podcast with Vishen

Sometimes, love and relationships aren’t as straightforward as we’d like them to be. This week, we sat down with Neil Strauss—a famous Writer for the Rolling Stone magazine and New York Times Bestselling Author, known for his thought-provoking works, including "The Game" and "The Truth," and for pulling back the curtain on what really goes on beneath the surface of love and connection. Neil opened up about his personal journey, from the world of pick-up artistry to his quest for something deeper and real. If you’ve ever wondered why relationships can feel so intense or why it’s hard to trust, you’re going to find so much in his story that hits home.

We didn’t hold back in this episode, diving straight into the fears we all carry about love and why those fears often drive us in directions we don’t expect. Neil’s perspective on attachment styles and the impact of our past experiences is not only eye-opening but also deeply validating. You’ll hear us share our own struggles with trusting intentions in relationships, especially when the past is hard to shake. Neil’s wisdom brings a whole new understanding of how we can transform those old patterns and finally find peace with our needs.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by your own emotions in relationships or just can’t seem to find someone who “gets” you, this episode is for you. Neil’s stories, advice, and raw honesty left us inspired and ready to take on love with a fresh perspective. Join us for a deep, unforgettable conversation on love, trust, and the power of vulnerability.

Key Timestamps

[00:02:52] Transition from pick-up artistry.

[00:05:18] Emotional safety in relationships.

[00:08:30] Self-fulfilling prophecies and trauma.

[00:11:28] Toxic masculinity and emotional safety.

[00:15:23] Psychopaths and their control.

[00:17:28] Intention versus emotional safety.

[00:20:30] Attachment styles in relationships.

[00:25:35] Unspoken expectations and resentments.

[00:31:26] Empath women and narcissistic men.

[00:35:49] Parenting styles and emotional attunement.

[00:40:07] Spiritual awakening and self-discovery.

[00:41:57] Healing through emotional availability.

[00:47:37] Spiritual celebrity interviews.

[00:49:19] Commitment vs. connection in relationships.

[00:52:40] Manifestation and personal boundaries.

Memorable Quotes

"You can tell a trauma is at work or there's something you need to heal if you have the exact opposite result of your intention. Meaning that my intention is to make sure I don't get abandoned, but my behavior is getting me abandoned."– Neil Strauss

"Sadness, pain, anger, hurt, love, all those things are feelings, but a thought would be betrayed. Like, what is the feeling of being betrayed? When you're betrayed, when you imagine, when you make up that you're betrayed, you feel sad. So, you want to be careful not to make accusations as feelings, like betrayed and disrespected. A lot of times someone might feel disrespected, but the person didn't tend to disrespect." – Neil Strauss

Where to Find Our Guest

Website: https://www.neilstrauss.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/neil_strauss/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/neilstrauss

Twitter (X): https://x.com/neilstrauss

To stay connected and to learn more about Vishen and Mindvalley, click on the links below:

Website: https://www.mindvalley.com/about

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/vishenlakhiani

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindvalley/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vishen/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mindvalley

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Produced by Evolved Podcasting: www.evolvedpodcasting.com

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