Reflections 3: Intentional Love; The Intersection of Connection and Individuality

Self-Regard

Welcome to Part 2 of Reflections. In this episode, I expand on the definition of love as an active word; a verb that isn't solely about attraction or compatibility, but moreover: effort, intention, and understanding. While this episode is relevant to all relationships – friendships, familial ties, romantic flames, and platonic connections – I largely use my 13 year long relationship as my lens. One of the biggest lessons I've learned is that there has to be a balance between individualism and connection, an element of reciprocity and mutual appreciation, and giving and receiving graciously.

A few key takeaways:

• Life's challenges don't always have to be fixed, and planned visions are not certain.
• Love is not determined by personalities, but by creating a fascinating harmony that keeps bonds in tact while fortifying your individual selves.
• Other people's behavior towards you is not a reflection of your own worth. Instead, it is a reflection of their relationship with themselves.
• Love requires a balance between separateness and togetherness. Commitments are voluntary agreements, while attachments are attempts at control.
• Communication is important, but comprehension is key. Ensure that the other person truly understands you.
• Cultivate fascination and curiosity in your relationships to keep them alive and interesting.
• Spend time alone to know yourself better and to therefore be more present in your relationships and your communities.
• Ask yourself: "does this person make me happy?"

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