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Ep. 31: Framework Building: Creating and Maintaining Boundaries
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In this episode, Leah moves on to discuss one of the influential aspects of frameworks, which is boundaries. She explains more in detail about what they are, why they’re important, and how to create and maintain them.
Boundaries are the limits that keep you and your relationships safe. In life, we have boundaries all around us in different physical forms like fences and walls and even the lines on roads. These examples all keep us safe and show us limits.
Interpersonally, boundaries provide safety for us and our relationships. They protect our time, space, and energy and are about us, not the other person. Some may see boundaries as constricting, but they’re really a safety mechanism and a basic function. When used correctly, they’re not to control others or manipulate them, but to provide safety within our relationships. They also help us know what our responsibilities are and for others to know what theirs are. They are helpful and crucial for healthy relationships.
In practice, boundaries may look like not eating certain things because they don’t make you feel good, or not drinking alcohol or rules around what you let others borrow of yours.
When creating boundaries, ask yourself what the things are that help to fulfill your wants and needs and that maintain your personal space, time, values, and needs.
Having boundaries helps our frameworks and knowing them ahead of time allows us to have those frameworks before we’re presented with a question or opportunity. They’re also important for being able to fit in those things that are important to us and the things we need to get done.
When enforcing boundaries, it’s important to use stand-up words like “I won’t” so that you can give strong, empowered answers instead of a partial yes or no. It’s kind to give a clear answer and to have those boundaries since it helps give the other person clarity on where you stand and what to expect from you.
Music credits: Holizna - Poor, but Happy
Edited and produced by Beruna Studios - berunastudios.com
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