Suzanne O'Brien

Bevival: Exit Interviews

1. Death Doulas and End-of-Life Support

• Definition of Death Doulas: Non-medical professionals providing physical, emotional, and spiritual support to those facing the end of life, akin to birth doulas but at the other end of life.
• Training and Empowerment: O’Brien created the End-of-Life Doula model to help families manage death more gracefully, focusing on preparation rather than crisis intervention.
• Cultural Dysfunction Around Death: She emphasizes how modern society’s avoidance of death creates fear, leaving people unprepared.

2. The Role of Preparation

• World Training Day: A global event initiated by O’Brien to teach basic end-of-life skills and promote death literacy. The goal is to prepare families early to reduce stress when death approaches.
• Importance of Advanced Planning: She states that 90% of a positive end-of-life experience depends on preparation—such as creating advance directives and having conversations about quality of life early.

3. Challenges in the Hospice System

• Limitations of Hospice: O’Brien highlights that while hospice offers vital care, the time hospice workers spend with patients is limited, leaving families feeling unsupported. Many people mistakenly assume hospice will handle everything.
• Hospice Access Issues: The average utilization time of hospice services is only about 14 days, which is not enough to ensure meaningful closure or address emotional needs.

4. Presence and Connection as Healing Tools

• Lessons from Under-Resourced Communities: O’Brien recounts how experiences in countries with fewer medical resources taught her the value of presence and connection—a resource that is available to everyone, regardless of wealth.
• Power of Non-Medical Support: Simple presence, like sitting with a patient or neighbor, can be the most powerful form of care during the end-of-life phase.

5. Addressing Fear and Avoidance of Death

• Death as a Teacher: O’Brien emphasizes that acknowledging death helps people live more meaningfully. Conversations about death reduce fear and bring clarity to life’s priorities.
• The Cost of Avoidance: Avoiding end-of-life planning leads to crisis-driven decision-making—often resulting in expensive funerals and emotional turmoil.

6. Financial and Structural Issues

• Private Pay and Accessibility: Death doulas typically operate on a private-pay model, raising concerns about accessibility. However, O’Brien stresses the importance of shifting resources—such as reallocating money spent on expensive funerals to better end-of-life care.
• Future of Death Care: While O’Brien hopes to see insurance or Medicare eventually cover doula services, she warns against the risk of over-regulation, which could limit the personalized care doulas currently provide.

7. Aging Population and Elder Care Crisis

• Elder Care Doula Model: With the aging population growing rapidly, O’Brien emphasizes the need for holistic elder care that goes beyond medical intervention, focusing on quality of life and connection over time.
• Learning from Elders: She highlights the wisdom and life lessons that elders offer, emphasizing that their stories and presence are invaluable.

Discover more about the author in our exclusive Proustian-themed Q&A, visit: https://bevival.com/exit-interview-discussions-on-life-and-death