Ep #118: When people don't love you like they "SHOULD"

Wannabe Balanced | MINDSET Coach

Wannabe Balanced | MINDSET Coach

7:38

Last summer, something monumental happened. One of Uncuffed's founding producers, Greg Eskridge, came home after more than 30 years in prison. In this episode we’ll bring you back to that emotional day last summer when he walked out of the San Quentin gates, free at last. Our work in prisons is supported by the California Arts Council, the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation, independent foundations, and donations from listeners like you. Learn more, sign up for Uncuffed news, and support the program at www.weareuncuffed.org Follow us @WeAreUncuffed on Instagram and Facebook Transcripts are available within a week of the episode coming out at www.kalw.org/podcast/uncuffed…

il y a 4 ans 12:08

MP3•Maison d'episode

First of all, how can we possibly know how people SHOULD love us? Letting go of all my shoulds has been the hardest thing for me to do. I want to believe that people should do things the way I think they should. But as Byron Katie always says, when you “turn it around rather than waiting for someone else to do it is the end of the road not traveled”.

I love the turn around technique she teaches, it helps me really put things into perspective and switch my focus off the person I’m judging and allows for my own introspection. I can then ask myself how I might be doing the very same thing I think others should NOT being doing.

For example, when I want someone to stop being so critical of me. I usually discover that I too am being critical by criticizing that others should not criticize me. Or when I yell at the kids for yelling at each other. I often get angry at them for fighting with each other but in turn I end up arguing with them about arguing with each other.

"Shoulds" are just our own biases and opinions.

“As you inquire into issues and turn judgements around, you come to see that every perceived problem appearing “out there” is really nothing more than a misperception within your own thinking.”

159 episodes

Ep #118: When people don't love you like they "SHOULD"

Wannabe Balanced | MINDSET Coach

published il y a 4 ans

MP3•Maison d'episode

"Shoulds" are just our own biases and opinions.

159 episodes

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Wannabe Balanced | MINDSET Coach

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Ep #158: Lose Yourself | Post Explant Surgery Mindset 30:28

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Not gonna lie, seeing my smaller chest for the first time was emotional. I broke down in tears, but quickly shifted back to acceptance. Now I see them as an elegant beauty rather than hot sexy. Both versions are awesome, so I'm choosing to embrace my new look. Focusing on what was gained rather than what was lost. They don’t look perfect, but even without the implants, I’m not going to be able to stop the process aging. Letting go of resistance I have to my body changing with time, and the belief that I reached my peak of beauty. Redefining what beauty means to me. Getting it out of my head that youth is the only kind of beauty. I started paying more attention to the beauty of deep wisdom that only comes with AGE. The lines and wrinkles represent experience and a life LIVED. Seeing less and less of my external beauty and more and more of my internal beauty. Seems cliche to say that, but like in the movie, I feel Pretty, when you FEEL pretty, that’s all you really need in order to be happy and content. We feel pretty by how we think and what we believe. {Want access to my FREE Journal Prompts and Work Books? Sign up HERE to assist you in your goal for increased self awareness through daily writing and monthly challenges.}\ If you’re interested in booking a FREE Mini Session then use my calendar link to schedule with me. (New Clients Only) MY CALENDAR https://calendly.com/crystalescobar/30-min-free-mini-session…

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Ep #157: Organize Your Mind & Your LIFE 1:05:01

il y a 2 years1:05:01

1:05:01

One of my specialties is organizing. It’s something I’m naturally good at, but also something I often promote because of the incredible benefits it can have on the brain. Having things neat and orderly is extremely important to me. My kids don’t always love it though. I try to impress upon them the benefits of a clean room and a made up bed, but they just think I’m a bit of a perfectionist. I tried for years to get my oldest to make her bed each day and she’d always say, why, nobody is going to see it . I’d be so offended that she actually thought I wanted her to make her bed for OTHER people. I wanted her to make her bed for me, haha, but I was also hoping she’d experience the same sense of satisfaction I get when I walk by her room and see it all neat and tidy. It has everything to do with me, haha. I recognized early on in my life the positive affects a clean and organized space had on my brain so it’s something that has always been a priority for me. There’s nothing better than coming down to a clean kitchen first thing in the morning, or climbing into my neatly made up bed at night. I do it for my brain. I used to think it was just a personality thing. I know messes don’t bother everyone, but I’ve come to learn that clutter and disorganization can have plenty of negative affects on all people, it’s not just me. Some may not even realize the stress, overwhelm, and fatigue they often feel, could be directly related to chaos and clutter. It’s not just a personality type thing, it’s a human thing. {Want access to my FREE Journal Prompts and Work Books? Sign up HERE to assist you in your goal for increased self awareness through daily writing and monthly challenges.}\ If you’re interested in booking a FREE Mini Session then use my calendar link to schedule with me. (New Clients Only) MY CALENDAR https://calendly.com/crystalescobar/30-min-free-mini-session…

Wannabe Balanced | MINDSET Coach

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Ep #156: Creativity for Problem Solving & Manifesting More of What You Want 47:29

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Ep #155: Explant Surgery | Saying Goodbye to my Boobs in PURSUIT of Health 27:31

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In 2 weeks I am officially bidding my boobies farewell. It's been an extremely emotional decision but I'm ready to let them go in pursuit of better health. As many of you know I've been struggling with skin issues for years. This last fall I had an alarming outbreak that caused me to look deeper into what might have contributed to this horrific rash that practically covered my entire body. I went to 2 different doctors, even had a biopsy, but neither one of them could give me an answer as to what might have been the cause. I went down a rabbit hole of information, searching for potential causes which landed me at Breast Implant Illness. After reading countless stories of other women who shared many of my same symptoms, I'm hopeful that getting my breast implants removed will be the answer. Or at least another step closer to better health. The last 5 years have truly been a process of ELIMINATING all the toxic things from my life. It started with eliminating a toxic belief system (leaving my religion), which then led to eliminating toxic foods (ER Shred), and now working on eliminating toxic cleaning products, toiletries, make up, and so forth. It only seems natural to consider my breast implants being another source of toxicity that my body can no longer tolerate. {Want access to my FREE Journal Prompts and Work Books? Sign up HERE to assist you in your goal for increased self awareness through daily writing and monthly challenges.}\ If you’re interested in booking a FREE Mini Session then use my calendar link to schedule with me. (New Clients Only) MY CALENDAR https://calendly.com/crystalescobar/30-min-free-mini-session Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Android | RSS…

Wannabe Balanced | MINDSET Coach

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Ep #154: My Addiction to the "Sean Drug" | Codependency & Self Worth 57:29

il y a 2 years57:29

57:29

I didn’t know I was codependent until about 2 years ago when Sean "Ferberized" me. For most of our marriage Sean was my source of feeling good about myself. He always made me feel loved, cherished, sexy, safe, and valued. I’d often say, "boy Sean, I wish I could just see myself through your eyes". It’s like pure ecstasy to be loved and seen by Sean. But the only problem was, I got addicted to the "Sean drug" and eventually became dependent on it. He became my main source of feeling good about me, which as you can imagine is extremely exhausting for anyone to carry that kind of expectation and responsibility. Sean got to a point in our marriage where he tired of me constantly needing him to fill my cup. He knew that the only way we would get out of this unhealthy never ending cycle, was for him to allow me to “cry it out”. So in a sense, I had to go through a detox period and experience all the withdrawals. The pain that comes when ever you’re trying to beat an addiction. I had to learn to self soothe... {Want access to my FREE Journal Prompts and Work Books? Sign up HERE to assist you in your goal for increased self awareness through daily writing and monthly challenges.} If you’re interested in booking a FREE Mini Session then use my calendar link to schedule with me. (New Clients Only) MY CALENDAR https://calendly.com/crystalescobar/30-min-free-mini-session Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Android | RSS…

Wannabe Balanced | MINDSET Coach

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Ep #153: Making Peace w/ Relationships That Have Ended 7:52

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7:52

We've all had our fair share of painful relationships and break ups. What if we could talk to the higher self version of the person we "broke up" with. I imagined us high fiving back stage somewhere. Congratulating each other on a job well done. “Out standing performance” I say. You really taught me some valuable lessons. That all felt so real. I was so in character that I completely lost touch with reality… {Want access to my FREE Journal Prompts and Work Books? Sign up HERE to assist you in your goal for increased self awareness through daily writing and monthly challenges.} If you’re interested in booking a FREE Mini Session then use my calendar link to schedule with me. (New Clients Only) MY CALENDAR https://calendly.com/crystalescobar/30-min-free-mini-session Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Android | RSS…

Wannabe Balanced | MINDSET Coach

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Ep #152: I have some CONFESSIONS to make 23:56

il y a 2 years23:56

23:56

I have some confessions to make… For some reason the podcast feels like a safer space to be more open and raw. Maybe because I know that the people who take the time to listen are the ones who truly resonate with what I'm sharing. So you listeners, thank you! I’ve attempted to be real open and raw on Facebook and Instagram and it didn’t always go over well. I guess you can say that I’m a little trigger shy now that I’ve tested those waters. Confession. The word confession has always been a very scary word for me until I hit the age of about 38, I’m almost 42 now . My entire life I feared ever having to go talk to my bishop to “confess my sins”. When I was 10 years old I had a traumatic experience, I was completely engulfed in shame by this horrific event. At the time I had no idea what to do with it. I was so scared of anyone knowing about this, but was literally dying inside with my secret. An entire year later I mustered up the courage to tell my mom. I still remember the overwhelming fear I had. Driving in the car with just my mom and I. My body shaking, palms sweaty, and tightness in my stomach. I couldn’t carry my secret any longer. It felt like poison in my body, slowly eating away at my insides. I had to purge! I blurted out, “mom, I think I... {Download my FREE Journal Prompts HERE to assist you in your goal for increased self awareness through daily writing.} If you’re interested in booking a FREE Mini Session then use my calendar link to schedule with me. (New Clients Only) MY CALENDAR https://calendly.com/crystalescobar/30-min-free-mini-session Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Android | RSS…

Wannabe Balanced | MINDSET Coach

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Ep. #151: Depression | DEEP REST from the Character You're Trying to Play 28:52

il y a 2 years28:52

28:52

"Depression is your body saying, fuck you. I don't want to be this character anymore. I don't want to hold up this avatar you've created in the world. It's too much for me." ~Jim Carrey Everything was going great, I was on top of the world, ready to take on 2023... Then I saw her coming my way, I tried to hide so she couldn’t see me. I ducked, I pretended I didn’t see her, but nope. She spotted me with her petrifying gaze and under her spell I went. This past week I encountered my least favorite emotion, her name is DEPRESSION. She often accompanies me during the winter season of my menstrual cycle. Although I can usually expect her to arrive pretty consistently, sometimes she does’t come at all which then leads me to assume she’s gone for good. In this episode I'm sharing a sequence of recent events that triggered my inner critic which then led me in a direction that was quite enlightening. Using my winter/ hibernation season for deep rest and introspection. I'll tell you what I uncovered this month.…

Wannabe Balanced | MINDSET Coach

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Ep #150: Is Your Brain a Dog or a Cat? 1:10:14

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We often hear people describe our inner chaos and continuous thoughts as our “monkey minds”. But tonight I want to teach you about your Dog Brain. Allow me to explain… So the dog brain. Let’s call it a Golden Retriever. Golden retrievers are a breed of dog that we know are highly intelligent and for many reasons are the dog of choice as the star in many of those feel good movies. When I think of a Golden Retriever, I think loyal, happy, playful, eager to please companions. Golden Retrievers are extremely smart and quick learners which is why this breed is commonly used for search and rescue and as service dogs. So, there is a part of our brain called the reticular activating system. This is our filter, our lens in which we perceive the world. It looks for and finds information that validates our current belief system. Language is what influences the R.A.S. Once it’s activated by the language, it goes on a search and edit mission. Searches for more of these things and edits out the rest. So just like the Golden Retriever, our R.A.S, when given a command, or SCENTence, it can be trained to search, retrieve, and rescue.…

Wannabe Balanced | MINDSET Coach

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Ep #149: How to QUIT Sugar, Alcohol, or Coffee 30:24

il y a 2 years30:24

30:24

I’ve attempted to quit plenty of things over my lifetime, as we all have . But ever since 2020 I’ve discovered an entirely new level of discipline. It’s like something suddenly clicked in my brain and I was able to conquer many of my addictions, cravings, and urges. Things I’ve kicked since 2020, sugar, gluten, coffee, alcohol, pizza, chocolate, my addiction to social media, gossiping, and much much more. Since noticing this huge shift in my ability to conquer these things, I’ve began to reverse engineer what has been happening to me, which is a lot, and I’ve actually formulated a whole process that I’m now coaching people through, but I wanted to share a small piece with you today to assist you in your resolutions for 2023. My theme this year is to become a New ME in 2023 . I started setting my intensions a few weeks ago and created a free workbook for all of you. If you’re on my email list then you should have received it, if not then you can sign up via this link: http://eepurl.com/cOWSW5 The goal with this workbook is to clearly identify the person you’re hoping to step into, then identify the specific habits you need to develop in order to embody that potential you know you have. So what I’m getting at here, is that quitting anything obviously starts with HABITS and I’m going to teach you what I’ve found to be the most effective habit forming strategy. And of course, schedule a coaching session with me if you’re needing additional help and accountability. MY CALENDAR https://calendly.com/crystalescobar/30-min-free-mini-session Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Android | RSS…

Wannabe Balanced | MINDSET Coach

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Ep #148: WHO do you Wanna BE in 2023? 6:48

il y a 2 years6:48

6:48

I love this time of year! It's the time to COLLECTIVELY reflect on the previous year, and set our intentions for the new year. We often hear people say, "you don't need to wait until the new year to start making resolutions." I agree, it's good to take inventory throughout the year, pivot when needed, and continuously ignite your enthusiasm when it comes to your vision. So who do you wanna BE in 2023? Wannabe... this term usually has a derogatory meaning. It's how we usually describe someone who wants to be something they are NOT. Imatating or trying to be like someone else. But let's lighten this up a bit. Let's imagine the person we wanna BE, not coming from a place of lack or inferiority. Not because we are seeking attention, recognition, or admiration. But because deep down inside you KNOW your potential, and because you know you CAN be who you wanna BE. I can't wait to see you BECOME the person you wanna BE in 2023. Use these journal prompts I've created for you to provide clarity, and an opportunity for you to visualize and set your intension for the year. I’ve been spending the last couple of weeks really contemplating this question and visualizing my entire next year. I actually really enjoy this process of setting my intentions and planning out my year. I also love going back and reading my journal entries this time last year. It’s fun to see what I was able to create and where I was at 1 year ago. As I’ve been getting clear on who I wanna BE in 2023, I went ahead and put together a workbook that I thought others might find useful. If you’d like me to send you this 11 page workbook then just enter your email here http://eepurl.com/cOWSW5 and I’ll email it to you. {If you’re already on my list, then you will be getting the workbook in your inbox this week} Also, schedule a mini session with me if you’d like to know more about how I can help you in 2023. https://calendly.com/crystalescobar/30-min-free-mini-session…

Wannabe Balanced | MINDSET Coach

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Ep #147: Navigating Difficult Emotions During the Holidays 55:52

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