Episode 362 Marlene's VBA3C + Fighting for Healing

The VBAC Link

Marlene joins us from California sharing her journey to a VBAC after three C-sections. She was a teenager with her first, and her doctor suggested scheduling an elective C-section for convenience. Marlene didn’t even know what a C-section was.

She became more educated with each birth experience. Still, when it came time to advocate for her physiological VBA3C birth, there were no hospitals, doctors, midwives, or doulas who would support her.

Marlene decided to free birth at home with her husband. During labor, she made the call to transfer to the hospital. She arrived at 9.5 centimeters dilated and pushed her healthy baby out in just two pushes.

Though she experienced resistance all along the way, Marlene kept fighting for the vaginal birth she knew she could achieve!

Marlene's Doula Website: Designed to Birth

How to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for Parents

Full Transcript under Episode Details

Meagan: Hello, Women of Strength. We are a week away from Christmas. I just cannot get over how fast this year has gone and how many incredible stories we have heard. I cannot wait to hear more stories next year. Today’s story is a VBA3C story. These are stories that we get requests for daily. On Instagram, we get people writing us saying, “I need more stories of VBAC after multiple Cesareans. Is VBAC after two Cesareans possible?” Yes. The answer is yes. We have Marlene here with us. Hello, Marlene.

Marlene: Hello.

Meagan: She’s going to be sharing her story just showing you how possible birth is. We have a Review of the Week. We’re going to get into that, then we are going to turn the time over to Marlene.

This review is by Rachel, and it says, “11 out of 10. Would be best friends with these ladies.” I love that. You guys, we feel like we are best friends, too. Even though we haven’t met half of you, we just love this community so much. We feel like we are best friends. It says, “Amazingly knowledgeable doulas with a passion for compassion and birth. Funny, kind, smart. Specialized in VBAC. If humans are exiting your body, you want them by your side.” I love that. That is such a fun review. Thank you so much for your review

You guys, if you have not yet, please help us kick off the 2025 season with some new reviews. You can go to Google and just type in “The VBAC Link” and you can leave us a review there, or you can leave us a review wherever you listen to your podcasts.

Meagan: Okay, Marlene. Welcome to the show.

Marlene: Thank you.

Meagan: I’m so happy that you are here and excited to hear more details about these journeys of yours that led you to the final VBAC after 3 C-section point.

Marlene: Yeah. Sorry if I say “like” or “um” so much because I’ve been on a few podcasts, and it never gets easier. For some reason, I am always so nervous.

Meagan: It is hard. This is episode 300 and something, and I still say “like” and “um”. It happens. Listeners, just know it happens. Picture yourself sharing your story and thinking about what you’re sharing and who you’re sharing it too and what you need to share for them. It just happens. “Um” slips out.

Marlene: Okay. So, I’ll get started. I really want to tell my VBAC after 3 C-sections, so my fourth story, but I will get into a little bit of my first three because that paints the picture of how I had my VBAC after 3 C-sections.

I was 18 when I had my first. My son is now 15. He’s going to be 16 in November. Man, time flies.

Meagan: Oh my goodness. It really does.

Marlene: Yeah. I grew up in the LA area in Norwolk, so the outskirts of LA. I grew up with my grandparents because my parents were drug addicts and in and out of jail. The social workers took us and put us with my grandparents. There were 7 of us. We were fortunate to be together with family and my grandparents.

My parents came when I was 16. I’m the youngest of 7. My parents came when I was 16 years old in the middle of my junior year of high school and were like, “We’re clean. We want to take you back.” My grandparents were old. They already raised all of their kids, and they raised all of us, so they were like, “Just go.” They were tired. I understood, so I was like, “Okay.” I went with my parents. They moved me about an hour away from all of my friends and all of my family. It was just us.

Probably a year later or 6-8 months later, they started doing their stuff again. I got pregnant. I didn’t have anybody to ask. I wasn’t educated. I didn’t know. I was just like, “I’m pregnant. I’m going to go to the free clinic. I’m going to go to the doctor.” Being a sheep, this is what we do. I go to the doctor and the free clinic. My pregnancy was fine. My son was fine. I’m fine. There were no complications. It was a beautiful, good pregnancy, but towards 38 weeks, on my 38-week appointment, my OB/GYN was like, “Aren’t you so uncomfortable? Wouldn’t you want to have your baby on your due date? Most first-time moms go to 42 weeks.”

In my head, I was uncomfortable. I was super swollen, but I didn’t have preeclampsia. He didn’t even mention preeclampsia or anything, but my ankles and my legs were probably 3-4 times the size of normal. I was very uncomfortable. I had back pains and stuff. He was like, “You want to have your baby on your due date?” I’m like, “Yeah.” He was like, “Okay. Let’s schedule you for you C-section on November 12th.”

Meagan: Wait!

Marlene: I didn’t even know what a C-section was, and not even an induction. Now that I think about it, no. It was straight to a C-section and I’m over here like, okay. I didn’t even know what a C-section was. I thought this is how the process was. I was just so uneducated. I trusted him. I was like, he was the “expert”. He knows best, so I’m just going to trust him. I showed up at the hospital on the time and date that he said. They prepped me for a C-section.

Meagan: Wow.

Marlene: Yeah. Now, in hindsight, now that I know, I’m like, that’s crazy. I could have probably sued him or something, but anyway. 4.5 years later, I’m 23 years old. I get pregnant again, and I didn’t educate myself still. I was young and living the party life. I was not really caring and not educating myself. I did plan this one though. The first one was unplanned. My girl was planned. We planned to have her, but I still didn’t educate myself. I just knew I wanted a VBAC because I wanted to experience birth the way women are naturally supposed to.

I just went. I went to a different OB/GYN in a different city. I came back to Norwolk because I’m an adult, and I have my own place now. I went to my sister’s OB/GYN. She was like, “Oh, he’s good.” I’m like, “Okay.” I just go with him. He was fine. I actually got to go into spontaneous labor this time at least at 39 weeks. My water broke, and straight to the hospital I went.

Meagan: Yeah.

Marlene: I just went straight to the hospital because that’s what I was told to do. I got there, and my pregnancy was fine. There were no complications or anything. I got there, and they were like, “Okay. You’re not even dilated, but we’ll keep you here since your water is broken.” They let me labor. I didn’t feel anything. 12 hours passed, and they were like, “Oh, there’s a risk of infection. We have to get this baby out. There is failure to progress,” blah, blah, blah, and this stuff. I’m like, okay. I trusted them again, so they gave me another C-section.

6 years later, so this is 2019 right before the pandemic, I got pregnant. It was probably actually 2018 because I had my second daughter in August 2019. I got pregnant, and I was like, “This time, I’m a little more educated.” I found the Free Birth Society. I was listening, and decided to do more research. My husband opened my eyes to, “Oh, we shouldn’t be vaccinating our kids.” He had been telling me before, but I was like, no. I was so brainwashed. My family is more medical-minded and stuff. Now, I’m the total opposite. My husband opened my eyes to things.

I started doing more research. I can’t just trust the doctors now and stuff. Now, I’m in Fresno, California when I was pregnant. I searched high and low for a good, VBAC-supportive OB/GYN, and a lot of them told me, “No, we can’t do a VBAC after two C-sections.” This one told me that we could do it. She was truly VBAC supportive. I got to decline all of the things. I didn’t even do the diabetes test. I didn’t really do anything except for a little bit of bloodwork. I declined everything, and she was okay with it. Then she told me, “You don’t have to have a C-section. You could try for a VBAC, but I might not be the doctor who is on call. Who’s to say that the doctor who is on call is going to be VBAC supportive.” She said, “Just to warn you, you might have to stand your ground, and fight for your VBAC and stuff.”

I was like, “Thank you for being straightforward with me.”

My water did break. I went into spontaneous labor again. I went to the hospital right after again. I mean, it wasn’t as fast this time. I took a shower. I ate dinner, and maybe an hour or two later, I went to the hospital. I didn’t get a VBAC-supportive doctor. The whole time after I got there, she was like, “Okay, you can try for a VBAC.” She was telling me all of these things that I can’t do. “You haven’t done it before. What makes you think you can do it again?” Just all of this stuff.

This time, I did feel contractions. I was in labor longer than 12 hours, but after the 12 hours, she started saying, “Oh, infection.” I had to keep fighting them off, the nurses, and the doctors. I was exhausted from labor. I believe I got to 6 centimeters or so. Those contractions were pretty hard.

She just was like, “Oh, I’m about to switch shifts. Don’t you want me since you’ve already been working with me? Wouldn’t you feel comfortable if I gave you the C-section versus some new person?” They were doing whatever tactics. I was standing my ground, then finally, I threw the towel in because I was having to fight all of the nurses off while I’m laboring naturally. I had monitors, and the IV, and everything else. I was stuck on the bed. They wouldn’t even let me move or anything like that. I was just like, “Whatever.” I educated myself a little bit more, but I wasn’t fully educated. I didn’t know that I was the authority. I thought they still were. I did educate myself a little better, but not as much as I should have.

They wheeled me off into another C-section, and then not even a year later, I got pregnant again. It was probably 6 months later. I got pregnant again. It’s funny because my two boys were unplanned, and my two girls were planned. I didn’t plan to get pregnant with my fourth. When I found out, especially because it was in the middle of the pandemic, they had pretty much just announced the pandemic when I found out I was pregnant, so I was bawling when I found out. The future was so uncertain.

My husband and I just finally, because my husband wants a big family. He wants 7 or 8 kids, and I’m like, “You’re crazy.” I finally got him to say, “Okay, we’re done. We don’t have to have any more kids,” then I get pregnant again, and everything that was going on with the pandemic, I was bawling. I was like, “I can’t believe this, but whatever. I’m pregnant. I don’t believe in abortion. I’m just going to suck it up. I’m having a VBAC now,” especially since none of them were medically necessary. They were all unnecessary.

I started doing way more research, reading books, reading articles, listening to podcasts, then finally, I did hear about the Free Birth Society before, but I really dug in and listened to every episode. They were the ones who made me want to do it and believe in myself.

Finally, I tried to go look for a VBAC doctor though, and I went back to my other one who was truly VBAC supportive, but she was like, “Oh no, VBAC after three C-sections, we can’t do this.” I’m like, “Okay, then,” so I went to look for midwives in my area. I interviewed them all, and they were like, “Nope. We would lose our license. Sorry, we can’t do it.” I’m like, “Okay, I guess I’m just going to have to have an unassisted birth or a free birth, so I’m going to look for a doula.”

I looked for a doula all in my area, and all of them told me, “No, we can’t be your doula because it’s going to be an unassisted birth.” So I’m like, “Okay, then. I guess I’m going to do it all on my own.” Like I said, I started reading all of the books, doing all of the things. It comes to the day. My due date comes. My water breaks actually on my due date. I’m like, “Okay.”

But it was a normal day. I was cooking and stuff. But with my two girls, when my water broke, it was a full gush. This time, it was a little trickle. It might have tore. I knew about it. I was like, “Okay. It might replenish. I’m not going to panic. I’m going to go about my day.” It wouldn’t stop trickling, so I had to put a diaper on, a big pad or a diaper, and I just went about my day.

I never felt contractions. I went to sleep, then the next day was a normal day. That night, I went to put my kids to bed, and my husband and I laid down. I started to feel these sensations. They were pretty hard. They weren’t hard enough that I had to get up and walk around, but they were hard enough to keep me up. They were not consistent, but they were happening all night. I didn’t sleep all night because of them.

In the morning at 6:00 in the morning, they totally went away. I had another normal day. I went back to sleep, and I got to sleep that night. Then again, I put my kids to bed. Me and my husband laid down. I felt these sensations, and they were a little stronger. The same thing, I dind’t even tell my husband. I was just laying next to him. I put in my Christian Hypnobirthing. I tried to listen to it and breathe through them.

They weren’t consistent, then the sun camp up, and they went away. The same thing happened every night for a week and a half.

Meagan: Whoa. You were still having trickling and stuff or no?

Marlene: No. I wasn’t having trickling. It was just that one day. My water never broke again. I think it really was broken for that week and a half.

Meagan: Oh, okay.

Marlene: It’s playing with me. I was just like, “Man, is this real? Is it not? Is it prodromal labor? What’s going on?” I’m like, “What’s going on?” Then finally, the day comes, and I had been up all night the previous night, then I had a normal day, then I went to bed, but at 3:00 in the morning this time, I woke up with strong, and they kept getting stronger, faster, and more consistent.

I’m like, “Okay.” I couldn’t even lay down like the other day. I had to get up. I didn’t wake up my husband. I went and took a bath. I was like, “Oh.” I didn’t have a pool because I didn’t want to make more work for my husband. I was trying to be not selfish. Even though now, I wish I did have a birth pool, I probably wouldn’t have gone to the hospital if I did. I went in the bath. It was hard and small, so I’m like, “I can’t be in here. I’ve got to get out.” I went to the living room. I was pacing back and forth. I was on the ball trying to watch TV to get my mind off of things, then at 6:00 in the morning, my husband wakes up.

He always wakes up early. He woke up, and he was like, “Are you okay?” I’m like, “Yeah.” I was like, “I think it’s the real thing this time though.” He’s like, “Okay, well I’m going to go to Home Depot.” I’m like, “No, babe. Don’t go. I need you. It’s really intense. The baby is going to be coming soon.” He’s like, “No, I’m just going to go.” I’m like, “Okay, whatever. Just go.”

He goes, and I go to the restroom. I try to check myself because I never educated on myself how to check myself because I wanted to trust my body, and I didn’t want any cervical checks, but in the moment, I wanted to see how much longer even though cervical checks don’t really tell you how long you have, but in my head, I was like, “I’ve been going through this for a week and a half. I want to know how dilated I am.”

I stuck my fingers up there wrong. I only went up to my first knuckle, but now I know you have to go put your whole hand in there and go way high up there. I only felt no opening, so I’m like, “Oh my goodness. How much longer am I going to have to go through this?”

I started getting blood dripping down my leg.

Meagan: Bloody show?

Marlene: It was drops of blood dripping down my leg. My cervix was opening so it wasn’t bleeding a little bit. It wasn’t too much. It was just a little bit. I call my husband. I’m like, “Adam, get home.” That’s my husband’s name. “Take me to the hospital. I need an epidural.” He comes home 20 minutes later, then when he gets here, the first thing out of his mouth, “Are you sure you want to go to the hospital? Because you told me that unless it’s an emergency, don’t take you to the hospital. You told me this.”

I’m like, “Shut up, and take me to the hospital.” I’m all mad at him because he left me, and he was not helping me. We drive to the hospital. It’s a 15-minute drive, and I get there. I’m like, “Check me. Check me. I want to know how far along I am.”

They check me, and they’re like, “You’re 9.5 centimeters.” My whole mentality changed, and I’m like, “I should have stayed home. I’m here. I’m not going to take that horrible car ride again. I’m guess we’re going to have a baby here.”

But when I got there, they were like, “Okay, let’s prep you for a C-section,” because this was the hospital that I had established care with my third, so they already knew I had three C-sections. They were like, “Okay, let’s prep you for a C-section.” I’m like, “I’m not having a C-section. I’m pretty much pushing this baby out. I’m 9.5 centimeters. I’m there.” They’re like, “Okay,” so the nurse went to get the doctor 10 minutes later.

Now, I’m pretty much complete. They didn’t check me any other times, but they were like, “Okay.” They just wanted her to tell me that I needed a C-section. I’m like, “Lady. I’m not having a C-section. I’m pretty much pushing this baby out.” She goes to my husband and says, “Your wife needs a C-section or her or your baby could die.” He’s like, “Lady, get out of here. We’re not going to do a C-section. She’s pretty much there.”

Then she leaves, and then 10 minutes later, she gets more fierce. “You need a C-section, or you and your baby will die. Do you understand that?” I’m breathing through my contraction, closing my eyes, and ignoring her, then she goes and tells my husband the same thing. He’s like, “Lady, don’t come back. We’re not having a C-section.” So she leaves and doesn’t come back.

I pushed the baby out in only two pushes.

Meagan: Oh my gosh. So was the doctor even with you?

Marlene: A different doctor which is the doctor who I had seen for my third, came. Actually, I forgot to mention this earlier. I did establish care with her, but since it was the pandemic, I had only seen her about three times throughout my pregnancy. I wanted to make sure I didn’t have placenta previa, the placenta wasn’t in the way, everything was fine. I went a couple of times to the doctor.

I told her at the last one around 34 weeks or 36 weeks– I can’t really remember, but towards the end in the last trimester, she was like, “Okay, let’s schedule you for a C-section.” I’m like, “No, I have to talk to my husband and ask him for his schedule.” The whole time, I told her, “Okay, I will have a C-section,” but in my mind, I was planning that I wasn’t going to.

She was like, “Well, we could schedule it now, then if it doesn’t work for your husband, then you can reschedule.” I was like, “No, I’ll just not schedule it, and I’ll call you once I get his schedule.” She’s like, “Okay,” then a week passed, then she calls me, but I didn’t answer, and they just left a voicemail, “Hi, we need to schedule your C-section.” I heard nothing from them after that. She never tried to call back. I never tried to call her back until I saw her in the delivery room. That was the lady who delivered my baby.

Yeah, when she saw me, and I was pushing, she was like, “Hi, Marlene.” I’m like, “Hello.” She had a look on her face.

Meagan: You’re like, “Yes, I’ve been ignoring you”

Marlene: Yeah, it was funny. It was amazing. I told them I wanted delayed cord clamping. I didn’t want any vaccines. The whole time, she said, “You’re bleeding a lot. We need to cut the cord.” I did bleed a lot for their comfort, but I felt fine. It was a lot of blood, but I didn’t need a transfusion or anything. I didn’t feel dizzy. I felt fine, but in their case, I was hemorrhaging. I knew some women don’t bleed a lot. Some women don’t bleed at all. Some women do bleed a lot. It’s just different for everybody.

I told them, “Leave the cord alone. Leave the placenta alone.” I still had to advocate the whole time because they were trying to cut the cord sooner than I wanted. They were trying to put the ointment on the baby’s eyes, trying to vaccinate, and then before I left, they told me, “CPS came to visit me because of medical neglect.” I didn’t see my OB/GYN too many times throughout my pregnancy. I used the pandemic. I was like, “I have three kids at home. Nobody could watch them. I can’t take them to the doctor with me. What do you expect me to do, leave my three young children at home unsupervised? I don’t know anybody around here to watch them.”

They dropped everything. It was crazy.

Meagan: What was that process like with CPS? We hear it happening. What did they do?

Marlene: I guess they have somebody in the hospital, like a CPS worker working in the hospital for cases like mine or whatever.

Meagan: Interesting.

Marlene: She just came in. She was really sweet. She was like, “I have to come and check.” She was like, “Can you tell me why you didn’t go to the doctor? You only went three times throughout your whole pregnancy. You didn’t make it to every appointment.” I said, “I have three young children at home. Nobody is willing to watch them, and I can’t take them to my appointments.”

She was like, “Okay,” That was it. She was like, “Okay, case closed. I just needed to do my job and ask you.”

Meagan: It was like, “I’m going to take this baby away from you because you didn’t go.” This is the hard thing for me. I’m going to get a little salty.

Providers need to do better. Hospitals need to do better. If they don’t want people having free birth or unassisted birth, stop pushing people to do that. I also don’t judge anyone who does a free birth. Everyone has their own thing. We’ve shared free birth stories on here, but if they’re going to give people so much crap and call CPS on them which is completely ridiculous because these people are just trying to do what’s best.

Stop making people go that route. Providers, if you are listening, please change your ways, and do better because you can’t shame someone for going out of the hospital or not having support from a provider if you don’t offer the support that they deserve in the first place. We’re restricting midwives out-of-hospital. Providers are restricting after two Cesareans, and sometimes even after one. We have to do better in the medical world in order to see change.

Then people who decide, “Okay. I’m going to do what I feel is right, and I’m going to free birth or I’m going to go unassisted, or I’m not going to be hounded about everything that I don’t want,” right? It’s so aggravating to me that people put people through CPS and things like that because they made the best choice for them when they were pushed away.

You had three unnecessary Cesareans. You were failed from the beginning, right? In your very, very first birth, a provider set you up for failure that they had no idea maybe what the repercussions would be in the next few years with how much you’d have to go through to find the support and to get the support. It’s just frustrating to me.

Marlene: Yeah. I totally agree. Honestly, that’s what made me, because I’m a doula, become a doula because I want to try as best as I can. I’m just one person and not a very important person in the medical world, but I try to educate my clients on not getting an unnecessary induction or unnecessary C-section. I’m not against them if they are an emergency, but if they are unnecessary, they’re handing them out like Oprah. “You get a C-section. You get an induction.” That’s how they’re handing them out. In my area, that’s what I see.

And also, because the ladies who want to have a free birth like me, if I would have had a doula to support me, then I would have probably done it at home. I’m that doula who I was looking for. I support free birth. I’ll be there if you’re free birthing and you can’t find any other doula.

Meagan: Yeah, and there are a lot of doulas who feel uncomfortable with it, a lot of it because maybe they are uneducated on it, but I do think it’s important for people who do decide to free birth just to make sure you are educated. You know what you are doing. You have a backup plan. You have the support.

It is good to hear that you and other doulas are able to go and support still. Everybody has to decide what’s best for them and what feels best, but support is needed, so I’m glad that you are willing to support your community.

Marlene: Yeah. Honestly, I’ve noticed that the ones who decide to free birth are very prepared and educated even more so than the ones who are doing it in the hospital and stuff because they have to, in my experience at least.

Meagan: Yeah. They do. They do have to. I do believe that those people who decide to free birth don’t take it nonchalantly. It’s a very serious thing that they take. We talked about that in the last episode. It’s important to note that. These people are very educated. It’s not just, “Oh, I’m going to go have a baby by myself in my closet.” It’s not like that. Really, these people are educated.

I’m so happy for you that you were able to fight through this, and to grow through each of your pregnancies and your births because you deserve that support. I’m sorry that you had to fight so hard in the pushing stages. Big eye roll. Again, we need to do better. We need to do better.

Marlene: I agree. I’m grateful for podcasts like yours and other ones to get the story out there because we do learn as a community through storytelling and stuff. That’s actually what helped me a lot.

Meagan: Yeah, they do. Thank you so much for coming on and sharing your stories today.

Marlene: You’re welcome. Thank you for having me.

Closing

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