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Absolute Worst Podcast

Dana Powell & Alison Royer

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Each week on The Absolute Worst Podcast, Dana Powell (Successful Comedian/Actor/Writer, Adequate Mom) and Alison Royer (Fledgling Comedian/Actor/Writer, Terrible Wife) seek and give free therapy by telling you their problems, asking you to tell them your problems, and then they just pray to God that any of it works out. They're basically the opposite of Oprah.
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Hello AWP Interns!This is just a quick announcement to let you all know that we've decided to bring this podcast to a close. We love you and are so grateful that you have helped us make this podcast the amazing thing that it is. We hope that you will stay in touch with each other in the AWP Interns Facebook group and that you'll join us when we emb…
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Our guest this week is Nat Strawn. You may remember her as Alison’s mean, Pakistani Pilates Teacher. Nat is also a very funny comedian and social media goddess. You can check her out here, here, here, and here.During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, Nat helps us answer some listener questions and we begin by helping a woman who wants what she ca…
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As usual, we’re off to a rocky start. After a harrowing beginning, we hear from a listener who’s crying through her homework, but she claims this is a good thing. We also hear back from the woman whose show we fixed via dialect coaching. She tells us all about her show in NY and you can learn more about her at her website: www.therachelstern.com. W…
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Alison begins Episode 80 by begging Dana to go to couple’s counseling. We also discuss baby shower etiquette and financial resentment. The Absolute Worst Feedback section begins with a podcast suggestion for Dana and this reminds Dana that her life is falling apart. We also hear back from the woman who was nervous about vacationing with her estrang…
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We start Episode 79 by discussing babies, AWP merchandise and the new network that our podcast is a part of, Utter Clarity. We then jump over to the feedback section to get some more information about CBD oil and then Dana gets complimented on her birdcall. We also hear back from a woman regarding her mommy issues and another woman confirms that th…
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In Episode 78, several listeners beg us to share our thoughts on the current political climate — no. After we get that bullshit out of the way, we’re able to turn our attention to the bigger world topics like why it’s important to use Monistat chafing gel as a makeup primer and whether or not work slippers are appropriate. We also meet yet another …
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Episode 77 is entirely dedicated to feedback we received in response to Episode 65: Anxiety, Depression and a Buttwiper. We begin with an email from a woman who just wants to connect. We also hear back from our new favorite Missouri listener, a woman who was struggling with anxiety and also, BIG PEE PEE!!! We get a lot of helpful resources in Episo…
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Our guest this week is Ayden Mayeri! You may recognize Ayden from New Girl, Workaholics, or Life in Pieces. Starting on November 2nd, you can watch her in Amazon’s Homecoming alongside Julia Roberts. In Episode 76 we discuss getting through college, marriage counseling and EMDR. During the Absolute Worst Therapy segment, Ayden helps our listeners l…
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Dana is now a professional singer and Alison records this episode from deep REM sleep. As usual, WE GOT PRESENTS — this time in the form of candles. Please check out Burned Candles on Instagram @burned_candles or check out the Etsy Shop: www.etsy.com/shop/burnedcandlesco.Alison is in a dark place so we kick Episode 75 off with “Just Some Love” from…
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Steve Hytner is famously known for playing Kenny Bania on Seinfeld. His podcast, “That’s Gold with Steve Hytner” covers everything from sports betting to pop culture (thatsgold.gold). Before we begin, Steve shares a little bit about his 13-year-old son Jack’s fight against cancer. Steve has recently relocated from Reno, NV to Los Angeles in order t…
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Our guest this week is Molly Hawkey! Molly is famously known for editing herself into The Bachelor. She is also the creator/host of one of our favorite podcasts, Spermcast, which is Molly’s very personal quest to find a sperm donor. Spermcast was featured in both The Washington Post as well as The Huffington Post. You can listen to Spermcast here. …
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Episode 72 starts off casually enough as we discuss the positive benefits of butter, hear some very pleasant listener feedback and find out we’re the heroes of an AA meeting. Afterwards, things take a turn when Alison accuses Dana of being from St. Louis. This episode continues to unravel when we read an email from our Virginia Intern. She has a lo…
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EPISODE 71 – IT STARTED COMING OUT…In Episode 71, Republic Rob demands that everyone give us money, and who are we to argue? If you’d like to contribute to AWP, you can do so via the following links: https://www.patreon.com/absoluteworstpodcast or https://www.gofundme.com/absolute-worst-crowdfunding.During the Absolute Worst Feedback section, we me…
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In Episode 70, we focus on helping others by dedicating our entire episode to feedback! We kick it off with some gifts we received from Lanae at Medical Monkeys! Every time you send a Medical Monkey to a loved one, a $10 donation gets made to a charity. Find out more at medicalmonkeys.com.We then do a series of shout-outs per our listener demands a…
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Today’s special guest is Molly Erdman! You may recognize Molly from her hilarious BreakWomb videos on YouTube or perhaps you’re familiar with her blog/book, Catalog Living. You can find out more about Molly on her website: mollyerdman.com.Since Molly is an OG listener, we kick off Episode 69 with some listener feedback. Our first listener demands t…
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In Episode 68, we celebrate Dana Powell. We also celebrate Intern Sarah by giving her a microphone! We start by answering a listener question about Dana’s bumper problem. We also hear from Alison’s boyfriend, Republican Rob, who offers Dana some insurance advice. We then head over to Dana’s Book Corner where she re-counts the array of books she’s s…
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We start the Absolute Feedback section with an email from a new listener who has joined us on our emotional rollercoaster. Buckle up, bitch! We also hear from an overthinking mama and a woman who diagnoses Alison with Empathy Deficiency. The feedback continues when we hear back from a woman who previously wrote in about all the drifters in her home…
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In Episode 66, we have a literal breakthrough while living vicariously through one of our favorite listeners, “Desperately Seeking Dick.” We’re so happy for you!!! We also hear from an actual licensed professional therapist who’s responsible for most of Alison’s food porn obsessions. And we get to hear back from the woman whose story about her brot…
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EPISODE 65 – ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, AND A BUTTWIPERIn Episode 65, we address a lot of the emails we’ve received regarding anxiety and depression. We start with some feedback from Alison’s boyfriend, Republican Rob. We also hear from Dana’s best friend and an amazing powerhouse mother of three. In response to the Irish mom from Episode 53, another lis…
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OMG we got gifts!!! Thank you to Sweet & Salty Stiches for our incredible embroidered wall hangings! Go get your own on https://www.facebook.com/sweetandsaltystitch/ and be sure to follow her on Instagram @sweetsaltystiches.We start by reading some listener feedback and no big deal but we have a brand new Bolivian friend! We also continue to bring …
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Our guest this week is Richie Moriarty. Richie is something called a, “working actor.” You can check him out on his website: https://www.richiemoriarty.com/. Since Richie is an OG listener, we kick things off with some listener feedback. As usual, we got some feedback regarding Episode 45’s problem about whether or not to reach out to one’s secret …
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EPISODE 62 – DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKSSO MUCH IS HAPPENING! We have a new website (https://www.absoluteworstpodcast.com/), Sarah has a new microphone and AWP has stickers!!!We start Episode 62 with a birthday message to an anonymous listener who is going through a lot. You can see the full message on our Instagram!We kick off the Absolu…
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During the Absolute Worst Feedback section of Episode 61, we hear from a woman who is proud to call herself our stalker! Keep up the good work, sister! We also meet a hairy babe and a woman who wants to offer her condolences to another listener who got some gel stuck in the wrong hallway. We then get additional bra suggestions and in our biggest mo…
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Immediately prior to Episode 60, Dana Tommy-boyed a stranger’s car, left a note, and we then fled the scene. We’re clearly great examples of strong, capable women who should be helping you with your problems!During the feedback section we get even more responses re Canadian milkbags, central vacs, and wanting to know if we have long-lost relatives.…
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This week’s guest is Fortune Feimster! You may recognize Fortune from Last Comic Standing, Chelsea Lately, and The Mindy Project. She is also a hilarious stand-up! Check out her website for tour dates! http://www.fortunefeimster.com/In Episode 59 we discuss being a failure, coming out, and CraigsList murders. During the Absolute Worst Therapy secti…
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In Episode 58, Alison and Dana continue with their attempts to solve the world’s problems despite their own inabilities to successfully take a pregnancy test and/or not gnaw through a mouthguard.We kick off this episode with a throwback to Alison’s pooslution that involves a driver’s seat with a toilet on it. #brilliant. We also hear from a woman w…
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Episode 57 is entirely dedicated to Absolute Yoursts and we being by discussing Alison’s inability to send appropriate gifts. We then hear back from a woman who thought she was in love but turns out she narrowly avoided death. We also hear from several people who, like Dana, have puking problems and then we realize we ruined some nice woman’s vacat…
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We begin Episode 56 by attempting to be kind to one another by showing our gratitude. We also hear back from a listener who is making her dreams come true! She had a deep desire to start a dog rescue and NOW SHE’S DOING IT! Find out more about Scout’s Sanctuary here: https://www.facebook.com/scoutssanctuary/. She is looking for fosters in the bay a…
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This week our guest is Jillian Bell! You may recognize Jillian from her role alongside Scarlett Johansson in Rough Night or Jonah Hill in 22 Jump Street or maybe you noticed her in Curb Your Enthusiasm or perhaps you remember when she was a writer on SNL. Most importantly, you may have heard of her company, Neon Witch which creates t-shirts for gir…
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Episode 54 is entirely dedicated to listener feedback. We meet an Australian who finally got married, an OG listener who’s bored, and a woman who’s sick of everyone being objectified. We also celebrate other incredible women who are creating cool stuff. Be sure to check out Fat Girls Dance!!! Facebook: @fatgirlsdanceInstagram: @fatgirlsdancemovemen…
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EPISODE 53 – PERIODS, MORE MILKBAGS AND A SCARED HIPPO Alison and Dana really feel like Oprah this week as they once again discuss their fancy Swedish Sudio headphones. They also offer everyone a 15% off promo code!!! (www.sudio.com Promo Code: ABSOLUTEWORST)During our feedback section, we meet a hateful listener who demands we free our intern, Sar…
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In Episode 52, Alison makes the huge announcement that she’s now a Twinkling Star!During the feedback section, we meet a listener who wants to hear more about our Absolute Yourst segment. We also meet a lovely woman who offers some heartfelt feedback and then slips in a period reference…RUDE! Then, as usual, one of our listeners does some vagina re…
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EPISODE 51 – RYAN GAULThis week’s guest is Ryan Gaul!!! Ryan can currently be seen on the new TBS show, The Last OG where he plays Tiffany Haddish’s husband! The Last OG is produced by Jordan Peele and stars Tracy Morgan. It is so funny, go watch it!Ryan helps us navigate some listener problems in Episode 51 and we begin by helping a listener deter…
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This week Alison seeks help and Dana rips on her for previously-chosen Halloween costumes. Seems reasonable.We start Episode 50 by reading some listener feedback and Dana gets real excited because she gets to meet one of her applebuddys. She also gets a suggestion of something that goes great with a Cunt Waffle pencil and then she gets to meet one …
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Alison and Dana are depressed…obviously. They spend Episode 49 recounting some of their recent highs and lows. This ends with everyone receiving a 15% off promo code for some incredible Swedish headphones!!! (www.sudio.com Promo Code: ABSOLUTEWORST)To cheer ourselves up, we decide to read some listener feedback! One person says we’re helping and th…
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This week’s guest is improv guru, Dave Razowsky! Dave is an alumni of Second City Chicago where he performed with an all-star cast including Steve Carrell, Stephen Colbert and Amy Sedaris. He teaches and performs improv all over the world. You can follow his whereabouts and also hear his therapy-adjacent podcast, ADD Podcast, at his website, http:/…
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We begin Episode 47 by honoring our interns…all of them. We then hear some listener feedback regarding the Deep South — turns out this is a very divisive topic. Afterwards, Alison continues her quest to convince Dana that their podcast is secretly a matchmaking site. During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, we immediately debunk the theory that a…
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EPISODE 46 – FREAKY FRIDAY/BANG OUR INTERNWe begin Episode 46 reading text messages between our Absolute Worst Intern and her youthful friend. We also get an update from our dead-tongue listener. We first meet her in Episode 12 and she’s been sending us updates ever since. If you would like to donate to her GoFundMe page, it is here: https://www.go…
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In Episode 45, Alison falls apart and dreams of checking into a hotel. Instead, Dana makes her march in a protest. Not helpful, Dana!During the Absolute Worst Feedback section, we finally meet the one listener who LOVES our website. We also hear back from the perfume lady, Dana gets yelled at for telling people not to drink, and the woman we stalk …
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EPISODE 44 – ERIC STONESTREETToday’s guest is Emmy-award-winning actor Eric Stonestreet! Eric is best known for his role as Cam on Modern Family.In this episode, we discuss the difference between hillbillies and rednecks. We also ruminate about the best types of apples and when it’s appropriate to eat them. Also,TRAINS HEAL THE WORLD!!!During the A…
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EPISODE 43 – CAN I GET AN AMEN?In Episode 43, Alison begs Dana to go to couples counseling. We also read lots of listener feedback about Jesus and also Dana’s deep desire to fuck a horse. During the Absolute Worst Therapy section, we meet a lovely girl who puked on a dude and wonders if he’s “the one.” We also attempt to single-handedly fix the bul…
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EPISODE 42 – LUCY MADELINEThis week’s guest therapist is Lucy Madeline! Lucy is a sexual health educator and social practice artist. As a Planned Parenthood educator, she taught sex ed in over 41 schools and organizations in Santa Fe, New Mexico, working with families, teens and adults. In 2013, she co-taught Psychology of Women at Santa Fe Univers…
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Don’t worry! Our intern rejected her firing so we’re stuck with her.In Episode 41 we read listener feedback about lazy Christmas gifts, corn dog lovers, and website tips that we will never be able to implement. We also meet a listener who is kind of a psychic but with accents.Afterwards we try to determine if tickling equals cheating and then Dana …
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EPISODE 40 – WE’RE LOOKING FOR AN INTERN!We kick Episode 40 off with discussions of celebrity sightings and the power of RuPaul. During the feedback section we meet a listener who thinks we sound dumb and as a result we start a swear jar. We then hear from listeners who say we’re single-handedly responsible for making their lives better, telling th…
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Our guest this week is Jess Rona!!! Rona is an actor, comedian and dog groomer based in LA who famously shoots music videos using slow-mo shots of her doggy clients. Her ingenuity has garnered over 100K followers on Instagram (jessronagrooming) and she has been featured in the LA Times, Marie Claire and InStyle magazine. Her ability to turn everyda…
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EPISODE 38 – DANA’S ANGRY: PART II In honor of the Women’s March, Alison begins Episode 38 by pointing out AWP’s accomplishments and then compliments Dana incessantly. Unfortunately, Dana is too tired to reciprocate and claims to be “dead inside.” It’s all very inspiring. This week we hear from a few listeners who are very upset about our website a…
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I’m not sure why but this episode begins with Dana begging listeners to invite her to watch them give birth. This is followed by some listener feedback and we meet a listener who claims she can tell which part of Chicago Alison’s from based solely on her accent. We also learn about a woman’s experience with an eggplant-sized dildo. Then we meet our…
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EPISODE 36 – WE HAVE AN INTERN! Episode 36 is all about New Year’s Resolutions and Accountability. We decide to start by reading an email from a listener who teaches us about domestic violence and how we can see the warning signs and not victim blame. THANK YOU FOR TEACHING US A NEW LESSON! Our listener is referencing an email we received and did o…
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