E4: How to Stop People Pleasing

When Does It Get Good?

"People-pleasing is a killer of our physical, emotional, financial, mental, and spiritual energy, and it's a total time suck," declares host Zovig Gaboushian as she delves into the detrimental impact of prioritizing others over oneself. Exploring the underlying causes of people-pleasing, from past traumas to an ingrained need for validation and fear of rejection, she discusses strategies for overcoming this behavior.

With a focus on understanding the roots and consequences of people-pleasing, Zovig explains why many people fall into this trap, even those who view themselves as confident and assertive. She breaks down the characteristics of people-pleasing: the inability to set boundaries, a tendency to overcommit and accommodate "energy vampires," among others. These behaviors not only teach others how to treat us but can also lead to burnout and a loss of self.

Zovig challenges listeners with introspective questions designed to confront their fears and reconsider their responses to requests from a place of self-respect. She advocates for setting boundaries as a critical step toward reclaiming one's time and energy.

This episode offers practical advice and encouragement for those looking to break free from people-pleasing and live a life characterized by genuine generosity, self-respect, and fulfilling connections.

Quotes

• "We have all kinds of boundaries. And in people-pleasing, those boundaries are often violated. They're violated by always saying yes." (06:07 | Zovig Garboushian)
• "Procrastination is a big byproduct of people-pleasing. When we say yes to too many things or something we don't want to do, the motivation that we have to do it is probably slim to none." (14:24 | Zovig Garboushian)
• "If you're people-pleasing, you're lying about what you really need." (21:29 | Zovig Garboushian)
• "Take a look at Instagram, because there are many people on that platform that have amazing talent and skill, but they're just going for the likes. They just want the likes. That is a form of validation. When we don't believe our own story, essentially what we're doing is we're asking someone to fill in the blanks. When we don't believe in our own worth, we are asking for someone to tell us what we are worth. And we will be worth something different to everybody depending on what they need. So a need for validation can get us into trouble because we are disconnected. It's a clue and a sign that we might be disconnected from our own worth." (22:19 | Zovig Garboushian)
• "When you start to experiment with setting the boundaries, saying no more, or whatever your version of the people-pleasing was, and sort of limiting that people-pleasing, notice who's with you and who's for you and who's not. They will really surface what deserves your time and attention. And the impact of that, deeper relationships, deeper trust, and you get to have more respect and compassion and connection to yourself. Remember, you can lead or you can please, but you cannot do both." (30:46 | Zovig Garboushian)

Links

Connect with Zovig Garboushian:

Website: www.boldnessablazecoaching.com

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