Careful Cultivation of Friendships

The Gospel for Life

Careful Cultivation of Friendships
In this point we want to consider two points (subpoints)
 The making of friends
 The maintaining of friendships First, the making of friends
 Need for discernment when looking into & entering friendships
 Proverbs 13:20 – Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
 Proverbs 22:24–25 – Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, 25 lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.
 1 Corinthains 15:33 – Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
 Deuteronomy 13:6-10
 As we make friends, remember the different levels of friendship
~ Acquaintances
~ Allies
~ Companions
~ Confidents
 As we seek to make friends, we can either be too cautious/exclusive or we
can lack discernment
 In seeking friendships, a couple of safeguards to remember
~ Do not seek your identity in friends/relationships
~ Do not idolize friends or friendships
~ Be realistic (all people are sinners)
~ Do not seek final sufficiency in any human relationship [Schaeffer quote]
~ Remember God’s sovereignty – not every friendship we initiate will or should continue
~ Those who are lonely and feel isolated are in danger of rushing into any friendship that is available without thinking about the possible consequences.
Next, we turn our attention to the maintaining (cultivating) of our friendships. Question of how do we maintain
and grow friendships? Simple list:
 Time and attention
 Truly engage with the person (be truly present)
2 John 12 – Though I have much to write to you, I would rather not use paper and ink. Instead, I hope to
come to you and talk face to face, so that our joy may be complete.
 Communication – willingness to share (talk) and listen
 Mentally engage
~ Discuss, disagree, learn from each other
 Emotionally engage
~ Share feelings and be transparent
 Truly enjoy one another
 Deepest friendships need to possess a commitment to Christ
Two final thoughts:
 It is ok to grow out of a friendship [specifically, this relates to the levels of friendships we talked about earlier]
 The more the merrier; friends are made to share [CS Lewis]

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