Ep #308: Creating Healthy, Joyful Relationships

The Design You Podcast

My perspective on relationships shifts when I view the world through my “joy lens.” We've all experienced disappointment in romantic relationships or friendships. However, it's not always the fault of the relationship itself. Sometimes, it's the unrealistic expectations we impose upon it. We find ourselves let down when reality fails to match the narratives of love stories or romantic comedies we think it should be. But here's the truth: not every person we begin a friendship with is destined to be our lifelong friend or companion, and that's perfectly okay. Today, let's delve into the importance of creating space for others, setting boundaries, avoiding gossip, minimizing complaints, and dramatizing situations and relationships. Prepare for a fun, thought-provoking, and inspiring experience. You deserve healthy, joyful relationships; this episode is your guide to making them a reality!

IN THIS EPISODE:

• [0:50] Today, we are talking about idealized love, romantic and friendships

• [4:12] I discuss what I learned in my coaching certification training about romantic love and friendships

• [7:47] I reveal how my daughter is navigating friendships in college

• [14:01] The blame game of friendship

• [18:31] I discuss the alternative of “what is wrong with you” to “what happened to you” and how we rank ourselves against others

• [23:25] I apply “holding space” for others rather than judging them, how that affects my joy practice and a challenge to listeners

• [29:34] The value of journaling coupled with the joy practice and being authentic when speaking with others

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Women need to recognize that expectations of how romantic love or friendship should go in our dream world are not reality. The rom-com expectations we have of those relationships are not real-life or sustainable.

• Humans have a habit of labeling other humans. That practice is not helpful. When you have a problem with others, rather than labeling them “this or that,” you should decide they are not your person. Move on.

• Rather than thinking about a person with “Why would you do that?” or “What is wrong with you,” it is better to consider that something could have happened to them. “What happened to you?” is a better way to view someone.

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