Episode 166: When a crying child says "Go away!"

The Aware Parenting Podcast

There is an episode called 'Go away" from early on in The Aware Parenting Podcast, AND I felt called to record another one. That's partly because one of my favourite parts in my new best-selling book 'I'm Here and I'm Listening' is where we see this from a child's perspective. In fact, when parents ask about helpful responses to their crying child saying "Go away!" I often ask them to reflect back on a time in their own childhood when they had a lot of big feelings bubbling and they shouted "Go away!" Did they really want their parent to go away? Or would they have loved them to have stayed lovingly present with their big feelings? I invite you to reflect on that, too! When children are moving out of the fight, flight or freeze response, they need to know that they are physically and emotionally safe, so that they no longer need to try to protect themselves and can let go into the resolution of that response and the release of those feelings. Children need the safety of an adult's presence to really know that they are safe. If we leave them alone when they're raging, they may stop, but when we look closer, it's likely because they have dissociated from those feelings. Of course this is a really nuanced process, where we play with the balance of attention, which is providing physical and emotional safety in the present so that they can revisit stressful or traumatic experiences from the past. This requires our attunement and listening to exactly the amount of closeness which will help them feel safe so they can move into resolution, without overriding their need to feel powerful, which is also an essential part of the healing process. In the podcast, I read out the child's story from the book. I am so willing for 'I'm Here and I'm Listening' to continue to be a best seller, and to reach the hands, hearts and minds of many many thousands of parents. If you'd like to support me with that, are you willing to share about the book, such as on social media? If you have been thinking of buying it, are you willing to buy it now or really soon, to support it to continue being a best seller? You can buy the paperback on Amazon by searching for 'I'm Here and I'm Listening' on the Amazon store in your country! Or send me a DM for the direct link! Big love xoxox www.marionrose.net