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If there's one thing your hosts are certified experts in, it's plowing, sowing, cultivating a field to maturity and then harvesting the fruits of our labor (in this case the fruit is wheat). That's right, it's a classic farm-to-table tale in which Mike goes from owning a whole farm to owning one table at the hands of the treacherous Jig Oinkle and the miserly Matt Damis and the man behind the man behind the man behind the tractor, Tapan. Also in this one: several great reasons to skip middle school, several great ways to cheat at poker, and several great ways to milk a pig.

Pairings: anti-sad with your counter-students; Quickbooks; an integrity blanket