Episode 9: Easter Egg Hunt

Gather 'Round the Trashfires

The cohort celebrates Easter together in a way only AJ could possibly arrange.

It's not all fun and games when the hunt reveals more hidden things than just plastic eggs.

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Episode Transcript:

Get your snack and beverage of choice ready. It’s time to “Gather ‘Round the Trashfires” for a tabletop roleplaying story! I’m your host, Bek Andrew Evans.

My current and main running story for this podcast is the misadventures of the cohort from the Deviant: the Renegades chronicle I’ve been playing in since early 2021. And I play Geri.

For those of you unfamiliar with Deviant, it’s a TTRPG about people who were formerly human but were irreparably changed in traumatic ways to the point their very Souls broke and they became something Other. They seek vengeance on those who made them, those who hunt them, those who seek to exploit them for what they are and will never leave them be.

As such, this podcast will feature heavy themes and content throughout. There’s an overall content warning for language, violence, criminality, homelessness, substance use, human experimentation, cults and religious extremism, mentioned torture, kidnapping, implied incest and incest-related comments, and abusive relationships. On episodes where there is a new content warning or a particularly notable instance of one of these, I’ll call it out.

Episode content warning for discussions of child abuse and animal abuse.

I hope y’all enjoy hearing about my cohort’s antics and stumbling headfirst into the mysteries of the world as much as I have.

[Music Intro: "_violence" by Avantist]

Green Country Calcination Episode 9: Easter Egg Hunt

After their (technically) successful mission, the cohort rested hard. Madison and Geri had to recover from all the blood loss and all of them, save Zuse, needed time to get back to their usual after the exertion they weren't used to.

The City of Tulsa, however, was not resting and woke up to a bizarre set of circumstances the morning after the rescue. There's breaking local news about a truly bizarre robbery on local megachurch, Charismatic Virtues. There's security video of an almost freakishly pale naked twink fiddling with the door, and then diving behind the ATM before the feed cuts out. Later, the whole ATM was found in the church parking lot empty but with no obvious signs of tampering. Authorities haven't released any speculations, though some suggest it might be related to the case of Blake Ingrham, reported missing early the same morning.

Some frequent attendees of the church commented how Tulsa is really going downhill, now we have our own pale little meth twink Florida Man.

There's a smaller story buried in the papers about how a group of disabled individuals were stranded at the Tulsa Walmart for several hours and found their driver hog-tied with a lollipop duck taped in his mouth, claiming some homeless youth attacked him. Their van was recovered from a car wash, found doused in bleach, three hours later.

Cassidy's since woken from her deep hibernation-like sleep about a day after her rescue. She finally becomes awake and aware enough for basic functions like using the restroom and eating, but not much else. She doesn't respond to anyone using her name and, in fact, is terrified of anyone coming near her. She mostly sleeps and lays still under blankets when left alone. She's currently settled in Madison's room, with Madison taking one of the couches in the living room.

Over the course of the next few days, as the cohort recover, some of them make efforts to try to help acclimate Cassidy to being with them. Madison does most of the active caretaking, with Geri adding Cass to the list of people in the group she's cooking for. Geri mostly keeps a distance but leaves Cassidy's door open to signal she could leave if she wanted to.

Madison has the most success introducing the terrified girl to Nacho the cat. She takes to the calming purr and soft fur, and Nacho appreciates another person giving him the attention he feels he's due.

The Friday after the rescue, Cassidy's wealthy parents plead to the community in the newspapers for help finding their missing daughter.

AJ leaves a note for the cohort in the living room that he's planned an Easter egg hunt for them, with a special surprise!

... He spoils it, the surprise is candy and home-made explosives.

He'd gotten wasted with Zuse while making his... spicy egg hunt surprise and accidentally set the timers and fuses a liiiitle more powerful than he meant to. They were originally supposed to pop with confetti! So he really needs everyone to actually do the egg hunt with him, pretty please, or else there will be exploded molten candy everywhere (or worse).

AJ, Madi, Robert, and Geri gather in the living room around noon when they're awake for the egg hunt. They have the curtains closed for Robert. They're cutting it close for the timers, but only Madison's a morning person.

And what's a little house explosives among friends after you've already nearly been murdered in a cult basement together?

AJ's set up some items for the game: a stack of novelty vinyl aprons with headless bodies of copywrite-proof characters like a purple totally-not-hulk in a tutu, and a pile of rubber dish-washing gloves. He himself wears his hula girl apron over a hoodie and sweatpants.

AJ cheerfully, with flamboyant, game-show host mannerisms, introduces everyone to the "Egg-stravaganza, 2021," hyping up that it's a game that you're just as likely to walk away with candy as you are to wear it. He half-jokes that the real question is who'll be the winner and who'll chase him with a steak fork after this.

Geri dry-jokingly corrects him that it would be a steak knife, which AJ mostly ignores, coldly.

Robert's in a very good mood. He remarks it's been such a long time since he's done something like this. AJ jokes... or maybe doesn't, that it's been a long time for him too. He says he usually does the candy explosives on Halloween - since drama queens like him normally save the theatrics for then.

Robert ends up with a novelty apron that depicts an uncomfortably sexualized Aquaman ripoff with starfish covering the nipples, which he gleefully takes from Geri after she rejects it. Madison gets an apron depicting basically Wish.com Hulk Hogan. Geri finally ends up with purple "sea witch" apron with crab legs instead of tentacles and inexplicably holding pompoms.

AJ suggests they pair up to search for efficiency's sake.

Madison asks what the rubber gloves are for, suspicious AJ put the eggs in something. AJ, somewhat sheepishly, explains since he was doing the wiring while drunk it might not be his best work. Safety first!

He muses he may have gotten so drunk, he let Zuse do that step. He doesn't actually remember. All the more reason for gloves.

The four banter a little bit and then AJ decides to pair off with Robert.

They hear a cat screech and the sound of running feet. They go silent for a moment and Madison yells upstairs to Cass asking if she's okay, but Zuse yells back quickly, unconvincingly, that everything's fine.

When they demand he explain, apparently he tripped over Nacho who's been laying outside his door. He blames the cat for not announcing himself.

Madison asks if he always announces himself before he exits rooms, or THE FRIDGE and Zuse says Geri told him if he doesn't start announcing himself before popping out of the fridge, she'll melt him.

AJ agrees with Zuse, that Nacho definitely lays places to try to trip people on purpose.

There's more speculation about the cat, then Zuse leaves to do Zuse things, exempting himself from the egg hunt. He teases about how he made them "egg-stra" special.

No one groans at the pun. No one groans at any egg puns.

AJ wants to start searching Madison's room. He makes a bet with Robert how many plushies she probably has.

In retaliation, Madison and Geri decide they'll start by searching the garage. AJ yells at them to not touch anything cuz they might die, but Madi retorts she's literally immune to his B.S.

The boys go upstairs to Madi's room, where Cassidy's supposed to be holed up. There's a corkboard with photos of Madi and Cass at various ages together, along with other children and teens in cheer and ballet outfits, and school uniforms. There's also a bunch of pastel plushies and K-Pop posters. There's a hope chest at the foot of the bed.

Robert, sincerely, congratulates AJ on managing to not know the location of his own eggs. AJ explains that's the magic of alcohol, and suggests maybe Geri and Madi would like him more if they ever saw him super drunk and less uptight for once.

They notice the pile of blankets on the bed has a pair of terrified eyes peeking out, and some fingers gripping to pull it in, closer.

Robert gives Cass a friendly greeting but doesn't move closer. AJ just freezes awkwardly with the black dress he was examining as if to guess if it might fit. He claims he was totally just looking for the easter egg chocolate bombs.

Cassidy tugs the blanket closer and scowls at AJ in a 'you're so full of shit even I can tell' way.

Robert tries to do the opposite of AJ's weird snooping while still looking for the eggs, but somehow makes it a different kind of weird, perhaps even weirder. He reaches his hand into the drawers to feel around but refuses to look at anything, like it's some trap with a venomous creature waiting to get him and he doesn't want to see his doom.

AJ starts looking under the bed. He reiterates Robert really needs to lighten up if he wants the others to not rebel, and Robert says if someone doesn't put their foot down, things could get out of hand.

AJ tries to mix his advice to lighten up and read rooms with a little... light flirting, and doesn't finish what he's saying before he finds an egg. An ostrich-size blue egg decorated with acrylic fuzz and googly eyes. He hears a sound of ticking and vibrating and dramatically dives on it like a grenade. It makes a small explosion under him... and he continues with a wince that the group doesn't really do parental-style authority.

Cassidy's even more terrified, eyes wide as saucers as she stares at the incredibly close AJ. She doesn't run or scream, though, just stays under the blanket and shakes.

Robert doesn't acknowledge the obvious flirt other than raising a brow, but asks AJ with real concern if he's alright after the egg-splosion.

AJ stands up, and his apron's covered in molten chocolate, burnt candy wrappers, bits of what once was an Easter Egg, and bits of shag rug that had stuck to him. The small shag rug below was similarly covered in molten candy and some plastic and is beyond saving. He says it felt like a knee to the gut and jokingly-not-jokingly asks for a kiss to make it better?

Robert chuckles and flicks AJ in the forehead before saying they need to find more eggs if they don't want to lose. He suggests they look in Geri's room next.

AJ wonders what if there are more eggs to find in Madi's room they're missing, and Robert - just as they hear a bang and scream-yelp from downstairs - says the more time they waste the more likely the other team will find more eggs.

AJ yells a 'sorry' and Robert yells asking why the eggs are bombs.

AJ scoops up the ruined rug to hide it for now and explains he thought it would be exciting but didn't mean to make them this intense. Robert tosses the rug in the bathroom and they go to Geri's room so Cass will be less uncomfortable.

Madi and Geri, meanwhile, are down in the garage - where AJ and presumably now Zuse are staying. The garage is the deeply cursed crossbreed of a mad scientist's lab and a teen boy or college student's bedroom. An OSHA inspector would have a heart attack. There's a bunch of half-disassembled junk piled and scattered everywhere. There's power tools, including the table saw. Safety gear? Never heard of her.

There's a bunk dragged in here - if you squint. It's buried under blankets and dirty clothes and other stuff. If you squint harder, there's a space you could Tetris someone into. There's a beanbag chair, a drafting table, and an absurdly unsafe machine that's a tower of exposed wires wrapped around a static electricity generator missing the sphere.

There's piles and... not piles of dirty clothes everywhere, apparently AJ's a boxer short kind of guy.

Geri and Madi pause on entering before Madison cautiously roots through boxes, asking if she's stepping into a biohazard. Geri doesn't touch the piles of clothes with her hands, instead prodding them with a sock-covered foot.

Madi nopes out in sheer disgust at the idea of trying to find things in this mess and runs to the kitchen to search there instead, with Geri following behind.

Madi throws open cupboards, finding an egg with a riddle that says "what's a four-letter word that ends in k and means intercourse?" The riddles are painted on, and they have old cellphone keyboards attached to them to input the answers.

Geri looks in the freezer under piles of frozen burritos and pizzas. She finds an egg with a riddle that says, "I come in lots of different sizes. Sometimes, I drip a little. If you blow me, it feels really good. What am I?"

Geri types "nose" and stares at the egg like she's threatening it to tell her she's wrong. It doesn't, and opens for her.

Madi gasps in scandal and types "Fuck." The egg does nothing. She thinks for a moment and types "Talk." It works that time.... a little too late. She gets sprayed with half-melted candy since she finally got the answer right as it was trying to explode. She shrieks in surprise and indignance and then has a moment of sad about not getting to fully enjoy the candy after all.

Then, the two scurry off to the living room.

Back to the boys, they're in Geri's room. AJ starts looking in Geri's dresser. Robert looks behind the pillows.

Robert finds nothing, but AJ finds an egg with a riddle with far too neat of handwriting to have been done by drunk him. "What starts with F and ends in U-C-K?"

He types "Firetruck" and receives his candy prize.

Since Robert still hasn't found anything, AJ takes one of the Cadbury eggs from his loot and gives a plastic half-egg filled with candy to Robert. He calls down to the girls that he's sending Robert down to switch partners so AJ and his new partner can go raid Robert's room.

Geri and Madison spot the same egg at the same moment, and both dive for it at once... and bonk heads, ending in a heap. The egg explodes between them, coating them both in molten candy. The smell of half-melted plastic fills the air.

Madi screams to wherever AJ is that he's not forgiven. She makes a pathetic, despaired noise as she looks at her hair and bemoans how this will take forever to wash out. Geri yells a 'goddamnit, AJ' upstairs for good measure.

After their moment, the two continue searching.

Geri finds a bright pink egg behind some cushions that really makes her squint. The riddle says, "I'm great for protection. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?" Geri has to think about this one, and nearly types something else in before she unconfidently decides on 'glove.' That's the answer, and Geri's rewarded with baggies of M&M's.

Madi finds another egg as well. This one's orange with bright yellow letters. Its riddle is "What does a dog do that a man steps into?" She hesitates, thinks, enters "pants" as the egg starts to shake, and braces herself.

It doesn't explode per se. But Madison's egg sparks and releases a terrible-smelling cloud of smoke - but it opens and lets her have the candy!

The two hear AJ yell down about switching partners. While Madi's dealing with her egg, Geri takes the opportunity to ditch her and her cloud of stink.

Madi flails, running away from the smoke and screaming EW and how she hates AJ so much!

AJ screams back that he's sure it's Zuse's fault. Madi blames AJ anyway, and AJ yells back 'that's understandable' and to 'have a nice day.'

From Somewhere Zuse yells back it's SO CONVENIENT to blame him.

Geri meets AJ in her room, finding him grinning alone eating his Cadbury egg. When he sees who it is, his smile fades. He checks under the bed again instead of looking at her.

Geri looks in the closet, where she's stored all the room decorations. No luck.

AJ finds an especially lewd egg where, instead of googly eyes, either drunk him or Zuse glued on two large, bright, fluffy pompoms. He claims to not remember making that one. The riddle is "I assist with erections. Sometimes, giant balls hang from me. I’m known as a big swinger. What am I?"

Geri keeps looking for eggs until AJ confesses he's stumped. She tells him the answer's "crane."

AJ's embarrassed he couldn't guess that, and the egg opens without issue.

Geri leads the way to Robert's room.

Meanwhile, downstairs, the other two go back to the kitchen to search. Maybe Mad and Geri missed some the first time. When Robert sees how much melted candy Madi's coated in, he asks if she needs help cleaning up.

She yells later, they need to search and win now! Gawd!

Robert searches under the sink, figuring the girls wouldn't have looked under there. Madi looks in more cupboards, and some of the previous ones a second time, scrambling around.

Robert's guess pays off, and he finds an egg that says "I start with a “p” and end with “o-r-n.” I’m a major player in the film industry. What am I?"

He types "popcorn" and the egg reveals its tasty treats.

Madison isn't so lucky. She sighs so, so much and dramatically, despondently even, looks over to the biohazard zone of a garage. She steels herself and runs to it, yelling more about how much she totally hates AJ. Robert follows behind her, laughing.

Just as he's about to leave the kitchen, he spots one more egg tucked behind the fridge - he really should have just left that one, though, because it Pops pretty much as soon as he grabs it, covering his front in melty chocolate. He curses under his breath and washes off at the kitchen sink.

Geri and AJ arrive in Robert's room, a painfully boring sight. It's not a complete wreck like AJ's, nor decorated to the nines like Madi's, nor meticulously and eerily stripped of decorations like Geri's. It's just. A room. Like you'd see in a stock photo search for "bedroom." The only thing resembling customization is a small stack of books on the nightstand.

AJ remarks that the bedroom is suspicious. He immediately looks through Robert's drawers.

There's a pause and then he continues to talk to Geri in that same chill tone, not looking at her as they keep searching. Geri, similarly, doesn't look at him as she keeps searching in another set of drawers.

AJ makes a snide comment along the lines that she could always just say she's sorry.

Geri says she is, but claims she hasn't had a good chance to tell him and try to make it up to him with... everything.

AJ makes a noncommittal noise and there's a long silence while they search. AJ breaks the silence, unprompted sharing a story of his childhood.

He says for his fifth birthday, his father came home with a whole box of kittens. Probably at least six of them. There was an old barn outside the house his family rented - they never used it, but it was a feature of the property. He says his father told him they'd play a very special birthday game... he let the kittens loose in the barn and said any kitten little AJ could catch was his.

Geri assumes AJ's father must have done something shitty and cautiously looks in the blinds, even though she can't reach all the way up.

AJ doesn't answer that but instead continues the story. He says he caught four kittens. It was the best present ever for a little kid. He already picked out names for them and begged his mom to let them share his bed with him.

But... he continues. At the end of the day, his dad called him to the bathroom. The tub was full. He had the box from earlier with AJ's four kittens inside.

AJ has to pause to find the words for the next bit. He says his dad told him there's 'no greater strength than to always be ready to sacrifice what's yours'... and ordered five-year-old AJ to drown the four kittens.

Geri exclaims what a monster the man is, and looks like she will personally see to it AJ's father ends up arson-murdered.

AJ explains he hadn't been told then about his family's legacy, about Divergence or any of that. But now he understands that back then, his dad was trying to force him to Diverge.... constantly.

He adds that he refused to kill the kittens, and that disgusted his dad. His dad thought it was weakness. He was (as usual) severely punished for his failings. AJ finally, after this whole story, turns to Geri to look at her.

AJ says that he believed her the whole time, every bit of it, ever since he first heard what her father did to her. He knew that, of everyone, she'd understand what it was like, to be so thoroughly manipulated and controlled. The mind games. Everything. He doesn't understand why she'd do that to someone else.

Geri has to think about her answer, and her expression betrays genuine distress. She admits she was wrong, and explains that getting good at 'mind games' was a means of survival in her cult. She says anything real about herself she didn't hide could be used against her.

AJ watches Geri as she explains, and nods slowly. Her answer doesn't surprise him. She reminds him a bit of how he was when he was much younger, actually. AJ considers himself very lucky that he had his Uncle Gabe to come into his and his mom's life when he was very young and make his dad go away. But, he explains, shortly after that, he was angry all the time and suspicious of everyone. He recovered some from that, with Gabe's help. He says he spreads laughter out of spite now. His dad would hate that, and AJ being happy, more than anything.

In the background, the two can hear Madison screaming - she found the rug.

Or crazy, AJ says Sometimes he makes people crazy, too. That counts. He supposes that's just his way of coping and Geri may find another way. But... Point is, He just wants Geri to not do what she did again. He likes considering her a friend and doesn't want to stop.

Geri promises she won't do it to him again - the mind games and, presumably, the no-consent telepathy. She awkwardly admits, fidgeting, that it's nice having non-cult friends.

AJ beams, smiling ear to ear and wraps his arms around Geri for a hug. He laments not having gotten them matching aprons - apparently he'd seen a pair he'd considered - as if they'd been best friends for a long time and not in a feud for the past couple weeks.

Geri blushes and doesn't really know what to do with the situation, at a complete loss. She suggests they try to find more eggs so Robert can't win, lest he try to ban alcohol from the after-party.

The threat of a dry after-egg-hunt-party after that very emotional moment puts the fear of god in AJ and he starts looking as fast as he can.

Geri looks in a nightstand, whispering hoping it's not condoms she finds. She finds a suspicious lotion bottle and an egg... with a bow and very lop-sided googly eyes. Its riddle is

"I'm AJ's special diet for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, start with a P and ends with an S, what am I?" Geri says if the answer's not 'pizzas,' she's making AJ answer it.

When AJ reads the riddle, it's as if he's seen a ghost. He goes pale, freezes. He curses Zuse under his breath. He says it's probably booby-trapped and Geri should give it to him. Just in case.

Too late, Geri's entered an answer. It's not 'pizzas.' She hands it to AJ when it does nothing.

She says she won't judge so long as AJ wasn't the one to write it. AJ promises he wouldn't write it and yells downstairs that he nd Geri won because they found the last egg.

A little earlier, Madison and Robert go to the garage to search for eggs. Robert is still trying to wipe the melted chocolate off himself, making an offhanded comment that AJ better not see him like that or he might offer to lick him clean.

Madison is reluctantly going through a box of electronics parts. She finds a silver egg with googly eyes and a smile. It's riddle is "My business is briefs. I’m a cunning linguist. I plead and plead for it regularly. What am I?"

Madison is entirely paranoid over all the eggs. She's convinced this one will explode on her no matter what she does. This egg does start changing the longer she holds it, a distance away from herself, but not like the others. It gets cooler. Madi enters "lawyer" just in time for the top of the egg to pop off and bust a light bulb. The pack of candy inside is strangely frozen.

Madison's still afraid to touch it at first, but Robert convinces her that since the packaging is intact, it's safe candy. It's just cold.

They run to the bathroom and immediately, Madison finds her rug, she mutters about how she's gonna kill AJ and yell-asks what he did to her rug. Then mutters again about how she's gonna murder him as she looks for hidden eggs.

She finds a rainbow-striped one in the medicine cabinet with a riddle that says "What’s long and hard when it’s young and soft and small when it’s old?"

She disregards the lewd answer she comes up with and types in 'candle,' after looking at some of her mom's yankee candles.

Zuse comes up behind her, wearing bunny ears, red silk boxer shorts, and the aviator sunglasses, holding a half-eaten ice-cream sandwich. He taps Madi on the shoulder, nearly startling her out of her skin, and asks her if she guessed right. He calms her down after the mild accidental panic, and congratulates her on the candy - even though he has to convince her it's also safe, and there's not secretly a stink bomb waiting. Once she's calmed down again, he wanders off to the garage.

AJ yells from upstairs that he and Geri found the last one, they win. Madi yells back 'that's not the rules,' and the two groups reconvene in the living room recounting how many eggs each found. Geri found four, AJ found three - including the unopened pink one in his hands, Madi found four and one she and Geri found together.

Robert doesn't care who won. He's too busy eating chocolate to say how many he found.

AJ declares the hunt a great success and suggests everyone get a shower and they'll have an after-party barbecue out back with weed. He also promises he'll get Madi a new rug as he's about to sneak off to the garage with the pink egg.

Geri adds there will be booze.

Madi demands to know why there were stink bombs, and AJ promises he would never - it must have been Zuse.... who's reappeared.

Zuse points out AJ hasn't opened the last egg and.... eggs him on to do so. Madi helps.

Geri keeps her mouth shut entirely... until AJ tries to dodge opening it by saying Zuse probably rigged it with a stink bomb. Then Geri suggests he can just open it outside.

Zuse says there weren't any stink bombs, but the melted plastic smells awful when the device triggers improperly.

Robert offers everyone beer. Maybe it will pacify the silly argument. No dice.

Zuse asks, innocently, what words they've tried on the egg and AJ shoots him a warning glare.

AJ desperately tries to convince everyone the riddle is probably something mean, but no one really believes him that since none of the other answers were the seemingly obvious dirty answer.

Zuse shrugs and says he guesses they can just ruin the fun by letting the timer tick down and making him say the answer. AJ pleads with them to please not ruin the day and just drop it.

Shortly after, the timer goes off, and splatters AJ in melted cadberry creme eggs. Zuse claps and shouts that the answer was pickles!

Madison giggles, asking why AJ wouldn't just answer that. Also, that's a lot of pickles.

AJ lightly admonishes Zuse but looks... oh so relieved.

Geri hands AJ a towel to wipe off with, and the cohort immediately starts their after-partying, before even really cleaning up.

They pass around the liquor and beers.

AJ tries to damage control for earlier, telling Madison to take whatever Cass says about what she saw earlier with a grain of salt - she might be seeing things. Madi immediately sees through this bullshit and asks what he did.

Robert straight up says they went through Madi's drawers - as if everyone else didn't go through everyone else's. AJ defensively says he was looking for eggs.

When clarified that yes, this meant all drawers, Madi starts indignantly throwing cushions at the guys for going through her underwear. Even when Geri confirms that she and others went through people's clothes.

Robert makes sure he knows he didn't look. And also that even if he had, he's gone to college, it wouldn't have been the first underwear he's seen.

Madi just throws more cushions at the guys. Geri sits back watching the chaos drinking her schnaps and helping neither side.

The argument gets increasingly ridiculous when the thing Madi's offended about shifts to thinking that Robert's declaration that underwear is just a piece of cloth is an insult to her fashion tastes.

The discussion goes in circles for a while, with Geri and AJ prodding at it ever once and a while for shits and grins, mostly teasing Robert because he's pretty easy to get a good-natured rise out of without accidentally getting electrocuted.

All of a sudden, they hear a small commotion upstairs - whirring engines, cat hisses and scrambling, and Zuse yelling to 'flee before him, terror of Nihm.'

The cohort yell back asking what he's doing to the cat, and Zuse tries to reply that he's just playing, buuuut he's cut off mid-word when he realizes, too late, that the RC cars from AJ's smokey-boi stash have atrocious handling and he can't turn sharp enough.

The cohort hears lots of thudding as Zuse tumbles down the stairs. Robert says Zuse is like four and Zuse says that's incorrect, he's seventy-four years in existence. He seems to count his years in existence from his moment of Divergence, though he clearly must have existed before that point.

Madison snarks about the underwear groper judging someone else's maturity.

Geri and AJ are more than ready to get to the real after-party part of this party, and Geri asks Zuse if he eats barbeque. Zuse says he does, and also apologizes for there being no more orange juice because someone had put it on his hip and it fell out when he next unmerged.

AJ wants drunk food experiments - first on the list: Snickers-stuffed grilled bananas.

They enjoy their first Easter together, quality time bonding for one of the first times as friends, with their small reprieve from the Church of Charismatic Virtues and The Society.

Later that evening, after the party dies down. After all the drinks have been had, after the food's been eaten... Geri's alone with her thoughts. And very drunk.

So she does what all of us would do if we were on the run from multiple deadly conspiracies and had just recently killed for the first time.

She drunk-dials her ex, of course.

Geri does her ex-drunk-dialing the "smart" way, using one of the burner phones the cohort picked up from one of their recent supply runs.

Amanda doesn't pick up the strange number, so Geri leaves a message. She goes on and on and on about how much she misses her, and she's sorry, and a whoooooole lot of things have gone on in the months since they broke up. She suggests, maybe they can work things out, they don't have to be out publicly - Geri can't be in public at all! Drunk Geri fails to explain that extremely concerning last part and instead moves on to more sad-drunk 'I miss you's.

When the recording ends, Drunk Geri goes to bed sincerely thinking she nailed it. Amanda will totally believe her and take her back.

[Music Outro: "Time Will Fail Us" by Troigo]

Thanks for listening, This has been Gather ‘Round The Trashfires with Bek Andrew Evans. Please subscribe to this podcast for future updates and leave a review or comment, I’d love to hear what you think. You can follow me on a few different social platforms with the username "bekandrew." That's [spells username] on tumblr and bluesky, mainly.

If you'd like to support me, subscribe to my Patreon at Patreon.com/BekAndrewTTRPG and purchase my art prints and tabletop products, including my Deviant: the Renegades community content novella related to this chronicle via my linktree in the description.

AJ is played by Roen,

Geri is played by me,

Madison is played by Syn,

Robert is played by Pandito,

And our Storyteller is Casey Grant.

The intro theme is "_violence by Avantist" from the Free Music Archive, licensed under Creative Commons Attribution International 4.0.

The end theme is "Time Will Fail Us" by Troigo from the Free Music Archive, licensed under Creative Commons Attribution International 4.0.

If you like the songs, I encourage you to check out more of their work. I've linked their Bandcamps in the description.

Until next time.

Follow my Patreon at Patreon.com/BekAndrewTTRPG Check out my other work at linktr.ee/bekandrew Check out the Intro and Outro artists' Bandcamps! https://theavantist.bandcamp.com/music https://troigo.bandcamp.com/ Remember to subscribe and see y'all next week!
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