#56 Living to work or working to live? with Author Dr. Susan Landers

Be The Wolf

When you were little did anyone ever ask you, “What kind of friend will you be when you grow up?” or “How will you create joy when you grow up?” or “How will you be healthy when you grow up?”

I didn’t think so.

But I bet you can remember being asked, “What do you want to “be” when you grow up?”

This is the moment it started. When you knew that your job would be the most important part of who you are. It was the point when you were told your work would be the most important thing.

And there was a clear path. Get good grades, go to college, and get a “good” job. Work hard, get promoted, and do NOT screw up this part of your life.

Because this is who you are.

If you screw it up, everything comes crashing down. Because everything in your life depends on work.

People decide what kind of person you are based on what you do. So it determines relationships and the opportunities you have.

And then there’s the obvious. It puts a roof over your head, food in your belly, and clothes on your back.

Making sure you do it RIGHT and do it well matters. So you work your butt off, proving yourself day in and day out. Making sure you never make a mistake. Making sure there is never a reason to let you go.

And before you know it, the job has become all of who you are. No other aspect of you matters. The part of you who is a good friend or partner takes a back burner. The part who likes to dance and see live music gets put in the closet. The part of you who is healthy and takes care of your body is abandoned on the side of the road.

You spend late nights and weekends working.

And little by little your friends stop calling. Anytime you have off is spent “recovering” from the long work week. More Netflix binges with a pint of ice cream in hand. And even if you have a partner, life starts to feel more and more lonely.

If this sounds like you, you’re not alone. The most common regret people have as they get older is that their life revolved around work instead of the things they love.

But when most people try to pull back and create more “balance,” it sends them into sheer panic. What good is it to spend more doing things you love when the whole time you are stressing about work?

This is why I love doing my podcast. I get to share stories of people who’ve overcome that panic. So that you know that it can be done!

This week I speak with Author and Neonatologist, Dr. Susan Landers. She is a determined, high-achieving, trailblazer who let work become her whole life. An episode in her early 40s gave her the opportunity to step back and figure out a new way of relating to work and the other roles in her life.