Heather Beach on Perfectionism, Boundaries and Redefining Success - "I really cared about being disliked"

Andy Brown's Exploring Emotional Overdraft

Show Notes: Exploring Emotional Overdraft with Heather Beach
"I had this view before I understood properly that perfectionists were all neat and tidy, they were procrastinators, and actually it's not that at all. Self-oriented perfectionism is having incredibly high standards for yourself, and it's being really uncomfortable when you make a mistake."
"I'm a single mum, the income comes down to me"
--
On this episode of Exploring Emotional Overdraft, Andy chats to Heather Beach as she shares her personal experience and insights on managing emotional overdraft, work-life balance, and the challenges of having conversations about wellbeing in the workplace. The conversation delves into the importance of active listening, self-awareness, and boundary-setting in managing emotional overdraft. It also explores the impact of societal and technological changes on well-being and business success. Heather shares insights on self-discovery, redefining success, and the value of deliberate planning in achieving a sustainable lifestyle.

Episode Highlights

• Guest Introduction
  • Heather Beach: Author and business owner.
  • Overview of Heather’s business, Healthy Work Company, focusing on organizational wellbeing strategies and training.
• Understanding Emotional Overdraft
  • Heather shares her personal experiences with emotional overdraft.
  • The concept of emotional overdraft as subsidizing business success at the cost of personal wellbeing.
  • Key drivers of emotional overdraft, such as over-servicing and empathy over-delivered.
• Heather’s Business Approach
  • Tailoring wellbeing strategies to organizational culture.
  • Emphasis on stress risk assessments and systemic stress in organizations.
  • Training managers on having effective wellbeing conversations with employees.
  • The impact of organizational culture on individual stress levels.
• Personal Insights and Experiences
  • Heather's struggle with managing friendships and professional relationships.
  • The significance of being self-aware and understanding personal drivers.
  • The difference between obsessive passion and harmonious passion in work.
• Dealing with Emotional Overdraft
  • Importance of boundaries in professional and personal life.
  • Recognizing and addressing perfectionism and the need for external validation.
  • Tips for managers to support their teams’ wellbeing without crossing boundaries.
• Practical Advice for Listeners
  • Heather’s approach to simplifying life and business.
  • The concept of work-life boundaries rather than work-life balance.
  • Encouragement to be deliberate about relationships and activities that recharge rather than deplete energy.
• Final Thoughts
  • The need for self-awareness in managing emotional overdraft.
  • The ongoing journey of understanding and managing personal wellbeing.

Key Takeaways

1. Self-Awareness is Crucial: Understanding personal triggers and drivers helps in managing emotional overdraft effectively.
2. Boundaries Matter: Establishing clear boundaries between work and personal life is essential for maintaining wellbeing.
3. Deliberate Choices: Be intentional about the relationships and activities you invest in, focusing on those that recharge you.
4. Perfectionism: Recognize and address perfectionism and the need for external validation to reduce emotional overdraft.
5. Organizational Support: Employers and managers should create supportive environments that address systemic stress and promote wellbeing.

Resources Mentioned

• Heather Beach’s book: I'm a Boss, Not a Shrink
• Healthy Work Company website: