A satirical look into the past week of sports, society, and culture.
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Is Clemson at the End of the Road? What Can NFL Rookies Take Away From Their Beatdowns, Is it Time for Big Ben to Hang Up the Cleats
20:41
20:41
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20:41
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I discuss what we know so far about the college football season. I dive into the difference between NFL Rookies, and the young QB's who have already run this road. I question whether Big Ben needs to get a new sponsor, and I eat popcorn at the Ben Simmons drama.…
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Is Aaron Rodgers Proving Us Wrong? Dysfunction in NOLA, Divas in Philly
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14:09
Is Aaron Rodgers detached from the reality of the NFL? Should we be shocked that the New Orleans Pelicans are a trainwreck? And why does Ben Simmons think he has any leverage? All of this, and some midweek questions that need to be answered.Par Brand Spanking New
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Justin Fields, College Powerhouse Cupcakes, They Are Who We Thought They Were!
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14:50
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I question why Justin Fields is being treated like a child. I discuss why the perennial powers of college football are now cupcakes. And I explain why players and teams just don't change.Par Brand Spanking New
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Fans are Jerks, The Clippers Listen to their Zunes, Tim Tebow is not a Wildcat, and the Astros are Hypocrites
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13:12
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I break down the opening round of the NBA playoffs. I dissect the dialogue between New York politicians and Hawks guard Trae Young. I try to understand the financial ruin Steve Ballmer is dealing with as the owner of the Clippers, and wonder why the Astros think they have standards.…
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Lightweight LeBron, The Clippers v. Rob Schneider, Tony LaRussa Fight for Prohibition, and Zack Wilson is a Mormon
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12:22
In this episode of Brand Spanking New, I discuss why LeBron James should change his fighting class to feather-weight. I criticize why the NBA does not discipline their Divas. I suggest that the Los Angeles Clippers and Rob Schneider have far more in common than we think, and I look into why people are shocked that a Mormon doesn't drink.…
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Tebowmania AGAIN! Russell Westbrook Playoff Struggles, Antonio Brown is a Pirate, and Massage Therapy Scandals
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13:06
In this episode of Brand Spanking New, I reveal the shocking truth that Tim Tebow needs to finally move out of the basement. I analyze why the coddling of the NBA has killed its ratings. I wonder if Antonio Brown is secretly a pirate, and I break down why massage therapy is a career choice that needs to be banned from society.…
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LeBron Meets Richard Nixon, the Brooklyn Nets Defense Issues, and Jimbo Calls John Wick
12:59
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12:59
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I dive in to discuss Lebron's thoughts on the current playoff situation. I analyze why the Nets are in serious trouble. I look into why David Griffin has an obsession with Melissa McCarthy, and I advise Jimbo Fisher to seek witness protection.Par Brand Spanking New
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The NFL Draft, Aaron Rodgers at the Kentucky Derby, Bryce Harper Meets the Goonies
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12:06
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I discuss the winners and losers of the NFL Draft, I break down why Aaron Rodgers is having an identity crisis over "The Bachelor" and I discuss how 10% of Lebron James is better than nothing at all. Also, Bo Callahan is not who you want to build your team around.…
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The Pandemic Year in Review
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12:10
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I unpack everything that happened in the world of sports since Rudy Gobert got too friendly with a desktop microphone. From the Brooklyn Nets Supersquad, to Aaron Rodgers replacing Alex Trebek, to the Houston Astros impersonating OJ Simpsons. This is anything and everything that happened over the last 14 month…
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Leaks in the Boats, XFL No Shows, Westbrook is Toxic, Baseball Loves to Hate Itself
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11:28
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I explain why people might want to bail on the Clippers, why the XFL needs to get better uniforms, and why Westbrook is the toxic one in the relationship. I also unpack why baseball is littered with scandals, and why it loves to bring that upon itself for publicity. Also, no one cares that Santa Clarita Diet w…
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Small-Balls, XFL & Applebees, All-Star Snubs, and Adam Sandler Blowing the Call
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15:05
In this episode of Brand Spanking New, I explain why Small Ball is not the best approach if you're walking into Cesar's Palace, why the XFL tastes like a watered down appetizer from Applebee's, and why Devin Booker has no right to be upset. I also unpack why one missed call should not be the blaming point for the derailment of an entire NBA season.…
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Super Bowl Meltdown, Barney Stinson for the NBA, Patriots on Shaky Ground, and Kobe v. Lebron
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14:00
In this episode of Brand Spanking New, I explain why Kyle Shanahan teams are getting a reputation for falling apart, why new is not always better, especially in All-Star games, and why the Patriots have a worse reputation than the Raiders. I also unpack why Kobe and Lebron will never be in the same category, at least when it comes to their generati…
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A brief synopsis trying to piece together the last 24 hours of the sports world.Par Brand Spanking New
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The Mannequin Lamar, What If, Steph, Starkville v. Pullman, and Mr. Reed the Villain
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14:56
In this episode of Brand Spanking New, I explain why Lamar Jackson could be just a fad, why Hannah Brown needs less attention than Giannis teaming up with Steph, and why Mississippi State is not an upgrade over Wazzu. I also unpack why Patrick Reed is the greatest thing to happen to golf since the rangefinder. Also, remember when the mannequin chal…
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Goodnight, Foxboro, David Stern's Legacy, Next in Line in Dallas, and Bowling for Poop
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13:53
In this episode of Brand Spanking New, I explain why Tom Brady's time is up, why Adam Silver will never measure up to David Stern, and why coaching the Cowboys is not the most desirable job in sports. I also unpack why the bowl system in college football is flawed and is in desperate need of fixing. Also, James Harden needs to give up the headband.…
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Breaking the Curse, Jason Garrett the Yes-Man, On to Cincinnati, and How I Met James Harden
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17:36
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I explain why Joe Burrow shouldn't believe in the Heisman curse, why Urban Meyer will never move to Dallas, and why New England should officially add the word gate to their official city name. I also unpack why the Houston Rockets need to quit complaining about how much they hate the ending of Seinfeld. Also, …
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Dadgum, Jimbo! Cowboys or Browns? Patrick Reed is the Devil, Bobby, and Time is Running Out
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16:21
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I explain why Dabo Swinney should be shaking in his boots, why the Cleveland Browns and Dallas Cowboys could switch jerseys and no one would know the difference, and why Patrick Reed might be BFF's with Lance Armstrong. I also unpack why Lebron James may be on his last leg, and why the Lakers should be worried…
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Vader v. Funshine, The Boy Who Tweets Wolf, Houston is a Problem, and Dissecting Brown-pocalypse!
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13:47
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I explain why nobody should jump on the Celtics and Lakers bandwagon just yet, why Antonio Brown is not the real deal, and why the modern media needs to stop think they're being witty with the Houston Astros. I also unpack the details of the Browns-Steelers brawl, and why everyone becomes armchair experts in h…
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Jeaux the Geauxt, Harden on the Catwalk, Weekends with Johnny Football, and Kawhi Cupcake Leonard's Load Management
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14:04
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I explain why Tank for Tua is no longer the slogan for the Miami Dolphins, why teams should invest more in strip clubs than perimeter defense, and why Colin Kaepernick's weekend workout will not get him a job in the NFL. I also unpack the idea of load management, and how Nicholas Cage movies are not the decidi…
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Kyrie is Cray-Cray, Baseball is Dead, the NCAA is Jonestown, and the Golden State Warriors are not Ironman
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16:05
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I explain why Kyrie Irving doesn't know how to use photoshop, brah, why people would rather watch The Masked Singer than the World Series, and why the NCAA likes taking M&M's from little babies. I also unpack the idea of how the Golden State Warriors are both the luckiest, and unluckiest team in recent history…
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Patrick Beverly is Uncle Rico, RUDY! RUDY! How I Met the Big 12, and How the West was Fun
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14:43
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I explain how Golden State recruited the YMCA team from Tampa, why Notre Dame comes up shorter than Tyrion Lannister, and why Big 12 coaches personify the version of insanity. I also unpack the idea of why the Western Conference in the NBA is the trending place to be, and why nobody wants to build an igloo in …
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Lebron Shames, Shirley, You Can Beat Bama, Referees Feeling a Little Bangkok Dangerous, and the King of Khakis
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15:10
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I explain why Lebron cares more about beating the Monsters than he does about actual human beings, why Bama and Clemson are the equivalent to Olive Garden and Buffalo Wild Wings, and why referees make us feel like Jesse Pinkman in Breaking Bad. I also unpack the idea behind the mayhem in Michigan, and why Jim …
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Ben Simmons Wins in H-O-R-S-E, The Georgia Teacup Poodles, Dodge and Dodger, and Stranger Things in China.
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14:01
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I explain why no one cares that James Harden can shoot off one leg, why the University of Georgia Bulldogs can't defend Air Bud, the Golden Receiver, and why the Los Angeles Dodgers should try and recruit Jim Kelly. I also unpack the idea behind freedom of speech, and why Rockets GM Darryl Morey has the right …
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Nick Saban's Grandson Wearing a Dog-Collar, Vontaze the Tin-Man, Fidget Spinners are Adam Silver's Thing, and Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous with Robin Leach
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15:04
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I explain why the NCAA needs to quit treating it's athletes like their under prohibition, why Vontaze Burfict should have been on the battlefield with William Wallace, and why NBA Commissioner Adam Silver wears Heelys in his spare time. I also unpack the idea of overpaying athletes and why Witches aren't crazy…
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Fear the Stat-Padder, Clemson Football=Top Gun, Ricky Bobby Hits Some Dingers, and Overhyping Downton Abbey
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15:54
On this episode of Brand Spanking New, I explain why we should be more afraid of Kate Moss than the Houston Rockets, why the sequel to Clemson's national title and Top Gun 2020 are going to be full of hot air, and why Ricky Bobby should be the spokesman for the New York Yankees. I also unpack the idea of hype, and what teams and players get overhyp…
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Member Berries in Michigan, Referees Getting Roses, Adam Silver's Tinder Profile, and Tanking for Tua.
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16:18
On this edition of Brand Spanking New, I explain why Michigan needs to realize the band Hanson is not currently trending in the music industry, why football officials may have an ulterior motive behind why they throw so many flags, and why there will no longer be any pre-mature wooing done in NBA Free Agency. I also unpack the idea of tanking, and …
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Atlantic Cupcake Conference, Aliens from Serbia, Come at me, Bro, and Big Little Wides.
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13:18
On this edition of Brand Spanking New, we explain why Clemson needs to find a new home, why Serbia should be more proud of their home-grown raspberries, and why Brooks Koepka might have lost an award for his role in "Jersey Boys". We also also look into the conceited behavior of sports divas, and what drives them to stab people over a haircut. Also…
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Cupcake Tech, Zeke Gets Paid, AB Loves Himself, and Playing Hide & Seek With a Shotgun.
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14:39
On this edition of Brand Spanking New, we dissect the return of Football in all of its violent glory, why Kelsey Grammar was cast in The Expendables 3, and why Nadal needs to see a gastroenterologist. We also look into the madness of Antonio Brown and the repercussions that could hamper his NFL career. Also, has your Father-in-law ever tried to hun…
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Out of Luck, Quit Scheduling Georgia State, New is Always Better, and Yes, Brad Pitt Takes his Shirt Off.
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15:31
On this edition of Brand Spanking New, we dissect the ghosting of Andrew Luck, why Rick Moranis needs to reprise his role as the head coach of the Little Giants, and why the Golden Bear should be receiving career royalties. We also look into the madness of this past summer and repercussions that will change the NBA landscape. Have you seen the late…
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