Dawson gazes into the distance and all he sees is his own, endless virginity. We slip in and out of your podcast feed like a ninja in the night, depositing an episode, and disappearing like a memory on the wind. This week we are slipping Season 3 Episode 1: Like a Virgin under your pillow. Dawson is back from camp or wherever the hell he went after…

There is no way Dawson is not just surrounding Jen in a cloud of urine right now. We are back in Capeside for a week and let me tell you: It feels good. This week we had just enough time to bust out a randomly selected episode for your listening pleasure, and RNGesus decided it shall be Season 2 episode 9, Election. In which young Andie finds herse…

Long time no… type episode description to. So ya boys are back to drop a hot COTW track on the internet, but not without ulterior motives. We are finally announcing our new podcast project, and we thought the best place to do it was the place that started it all (and the place with the most subscribers *cough*). But we can’t come empty handed, so w…

It occurred to me too late that we should post a pic of ourselves for the last ep, so instead here are two slightly less attractive and less charismatic white guys. Seven years ago we decided to abandon our music podcast idea and do something silly for our own amusement that we never thought anyone would listen to. Rewatch podcasts existed at the t…

Papa Emoiratus Oh wow, my last Schitt’s Creek episode description. I don’t even know how to begin. You all know the jist of the episode: David gets married and then the whole gang separates off to live their new successful lives, having learned a myriad of lessons from their time spent in the Creek. In many ways, this show has matured greatly over …

I gotta be honest, I saw this picture and the first thing that came to mind was: I bet Dan Levy (and for that matter David Rose) smells great. Just the perfect fragrance for any situation. It’s not a funny caption but it’s honest, dammit. Wow everyone, we have very nearly made it. A few more steps and we will have summitted the peak of Schitt Mount…

Say goodnight, not goodbye, Moira. Soon we may part, but we will always have Spotify (at least as long as we keep paying for hosting). So, Schitt’s Creek is finally getting around to wrapping Schitt up, which means we have to figure out what is in store for Johnny, Moira, David, Alexis, and the rest. This episode focuses on Johnny, Stevie, and Rola…

Thinking about picking up a couple of these for in-person recordings. Hey there, kittens! Only a few creeks left for you to dip your toes into, but thankfully this one is a good one. It’s bachelor party time before David’s wedding, and Stevie is in charge of planning. The itenerary includes escape rooms and drinks, but the rest of the Rose family i…

I’m not going to lie, I only picked this screenshot because I’m friggin’ starving, you got any wedding sample platters back there? As the sun rises on a new baby podcast, springing forth fully formed from the heads of it’s hosts, so too must it eventually set, returning to those same fractured skulls to burrow deep into the cranial-goo where it wil…

The box. You opened it. We came. Now you must come with us, taste our pleasures. What a week we have in store for you my little Schittobites. After our usual beginning-of-show-BS we hop in and watch Alexis make some poor life decisions with an old man while Johnny attempts offer some fatherly warnings to her would-be suitor. Meanwhile Moira goes sa…

Farewell suite, beautiful baby boy. You will be missed. It’s another fine week for another fine creek. This one has some laughs and some tears as we bid farewell to sexvet Ted. He’s off to artificially inseminate turtles or something while Alexis has to stay behind and find her own path. Meanwhile the Rose’s face off against the Schitts to see who …

[Don’t forget to insert a funny caption here before you click “publish” If you’re reading this I forgot, or is this all just a bit? You’ll never know and I’ll never tell] Cults are fun, this week most of the Schitts Creek women are almost indoctrinated into one. Meanwhile Moira and David get hammered on terrible wine, and Johnny bonds with Patrick.…

Some screen grabs are just for MTSG, and that’s OK. Wow folks, 300 episodes. I think we have about 7 more in us then it’s time to bounce. But don’t let the impending demise of your fifth favorite podcast distract from the hilarious romp we have for you this week. There are misunderstandings aplenty as the threesome Patrick and David think they are …

The Rose’s visit creekoftheweek.com and count the number of remaining episodes with a look of concern. Put on your best skinny jeans and roll out the merlot rug, it’s time for the premiere of The Crowening, and all the heavy hitters of Schitt’s Creek (heavy Schitters?) are making their debuts. While Alexis & Moira deal with that, Stevie struggles w…

Moira sporting headwear from the King Buzzo Collection. Magnificent. It’s Schitt time again folks, and this week’s is a hoot. Moira is very excited about the release of a trailer for her upcoming feature Crows 3: The Crowening, however not all of her friends share her elation. Also Johnny and Roland have to figure out why a guy at their new motel h…

Your reaction when you saw that COTW was late this week. Oh hello, I didn’t see you there. Welcome to Creek of the Week Inc. Come on in and have a seat. Looking over your resume I see you have extensive experience in the field of “having amazing taste in podcasts”, good good. I also see that you’ve listed your biggest weakness as “only leaves 5 sta…

Patrick showing off his new Dune stillsuit PJs. TOPICAL CAPTION! Ya ever pee the bed as an adult? Sound off in the comments, then tune in to see if your hosts have. One person we know has definitely peed the bed is David Rose, and that is the main story in this episode. Concurrently we have Alexis handling the burgeoning social media presence of he…

I don’t have a good caption for this except to point out how exceptional that necklace/amulet thing is. This week’s episode is an interesting one. Our extended pre-show banter recounts a harrowing, and often objectively hilarious tale, of the events of the previous week for one of your beloved hosts. That undersells it, but I’m trying to keep spoil…

Name a more iconic power trio. The season 5 finale is here and they’re goin out singing. Much of this finale is taken up by musical numbers. They are fine. The rest of it is mainly dominated by stormclouds raining all over David’s parade as he tries to make a dramatic engagement announcement. Also, Alexis is dealing with the fallout of missing all …

Jokes aside, it is a testament to the writing and performances on this show that such a touching scene can be created with a character wearing that sweater. Well this week’s episode sure is a doozy. Important stuff goes down in this one, as well as some less-important stuff. First of all, Johnny starts to feel uncomfortable while doing some manual …

Moira, thank you for your concern, but we are fine and we have a new episode ready right now. Hey kiddos, Sorry for the brief hiatus, but we are back with another banger. This week’s episode of Schitt’s Creek doesn’t have a lot of drama but makes up for it in laughs, as it is, in this host’s humble opinion, one of the funnier episodes of the season…

This is also my family’s reaction when politics is brought up at the holidays. This week’s Schitt’s Creek starts with the revelation that David is throwing the one and only surprise party of his life for his BF Patrick, and has secretly invited his lover’s parents to the soiree. This inadvertently puts Johnny in a, wait for it, awkward position, wh…

Ted’s “I’m about to have sex” face is not as sexy as we might have hoped. This week is all about dead animals and sex in public spaces, my two favorite things. While headed out of town for a spa-retreat, Johnny and Moira accidentally plow over a cat. Then, for some reason, they hunt down the owners of the cat, and once again for an unknown purpose,…

Baseball, that’s our national sport. As the Olympics come to a close, it is only fitting we say farewell with possibly the most athletic episode of Schitt’s Creek. This week the town’s two baseball teams are competing in the league finale. One wonders: How many teams started in this tournament? Where are all those players? Was it always going to co…

You’re gonna have a lot bit of laughsis when you… listen to… our show. Yikes. A lot of stuff happens on this episode. Johnny and Stevie win an award right as Stevie is getting unceremoniously dumped by a bastard. Moira settles into the role of Director of Cabaret, and David makes fun of Patrick for being a pushover. But who are we kidding, none of …

I hate it when I find a really good screenshot and can’t think of a damn thing to caption it with. Feel free to tweet your own caption ideas to @talkindawson. So we decided to take a break from our break to break to bring you just a little bit of content during this long hot summer. This week we have a fine episode in which Johnny finds himself pos…

Zhampagne, magic brownies, hair metal. Y’know, she’s kind of the butt of the joke this episode, but I would legit party with Jocelyn. Three plot lines this week, each more awkward than the last. First, the jazzagals had a trip to the local casino planned to see a Poison concert, when the show falls through they decide to have a girl’s night anyway …

I just picked this because everybody looks happy and that seems like it would be nice. Well this week we have a certified top tier Schitts Creek episode for you. Housewarming combines the joy of inept childcare with the excitement of a drunken gathering in your underwear. Firstly Johnny and Moira are watching the Schitt kid, the Schitt boy? Schitt …

Excitement, boredom, confusion. The only three reactions we ever receive here at COTW. This week your hosts catch up from their week off with some of the usual recommendos. Then we dive into The Dress, a fan favorite episode featuring karoake, Coture, and Confessions from Ted the Vet. Also, in the case of Stevie, possible Coitus? Watch along with u…

Gross, look what they’re doing with their hands. This week your hosts briefly talk about a crime novel author you’ve probably never heard of, then dive into The Creek. The Motel has a “V-VIP” guest staying with them, and the employees concoct a scheme to impress him. Meanwhile Moira deals with Jocelyn’s breakdown, and David helps Patrick find a pla…

In one scene Jocelyn out-fashions both Moira and David for the whole series. Bravo! This week your hosts battle technical difficulties and a time crunch that leads them to cram their usual 45 minutes of hijinks into a half hour. Why am I speaking in third person? There’s no “them” here, it’s us, that is; me! Did I just use that semicolon correctly?…

If only Brandon Lee were still around to see his creation perfected. A new season begins, and it begins with a bang. Moira is off filming her movie (The titular Crowening), while the rest of the fam holds down the fort. Alexis and David are having a friendly competition to see who has the spicier relationship, while Johnny is not doing well in his …

This is a picture of Eugene Levy in bed. Merry Christmas, everyone. I realize it’s March, but we can’t control where the episodes fall so you’re getting a holiday episode. The technical finale of Season 4, this episode finds Johnny Rose desperately wishing for a holiday party, and the hijinks that ensue around the execution of said party. It’s what…

It’s hard to see in this image, but zoom in to the top left corner and I think that’s a classic coin-op Outrun game cabinet. That’s enough to draw me in to single’s week. Season finale’s are fun, and even though we technically have one more to go for season 4, this is the spiritual season finale, and it brings all the emotional weight we’ve come to…

Actual screencap from the new Schitt’s Creek FPS dating sim where you play as Ted the Vet in his quest for love. Hi there. It’s another flawless episode description of a very flawed episode of a podcast covering another flawless episode of Schitt’s Creek. This week pretends like the main plot is a rash breaking out caused by David’s moisturizer tha…

My suggestion: Fill it with Strawberry Jam and used panty hose. It is once again time to follow us on our journey into Schitts Creek. This week Jocelyn is throwing a baby shower and cons David into planning it. I don’t know if you’ve been paying attention to David’s aesthetic, but that was not a good decision on her part. Also, Alexis has old frien…

More like ‘Simply the Bozo’ (This joke is a combination of this scene, in which a young woman wears too much makeup, like a clown, and a reference to the famous song that plays during another, more well-known scene at the end of the episode. ((Clearly the author of this joke did not think it was funny enough to stand on it’s own merit, so he over-e…

This episode of our podcast is honeymoon-sweet! Yep it’s one of those weeks. As this episode airs the week after Den Levy hosts SNL, we start our show talking a bit about that. We then talk about some other lighthearted topics like the unending progression of time drawing us all into irrelevancy and eventual death, plus what TV shows we like. After…

Not pictured: 80 other prepared sliders, waiting for the grill. It will make sense when you listen to the episode. Hello my fellow Schitt-afficianados, welcome to another exciting installment. This week there’s a barbecue in the works to honor of David’s longest relationship ever, and he fears this may be a jinx. He does his best to make his fears …

If thou gaze too long into the abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee. This week, on a very special Creek of the Week: A Schitt’s Creek (Formerly Dawson’s Creek) Podcast, or CotW: aSC(FDC)P, as we are called in the industry, we find the Rose’s involved in all kinds of business dealings. Alexis is doing PR work for the motel, and the newfound pos…

If you look closely you can see the Three Men and a Baby ghost in the background. First of all, take it easy, Moira is not dead. It was just one of those fake social media death things that goes around and is immediately followed by a bunch of the gifs of Denzel Washington putting his hand over his chest and looking relieved. So Moira is not dead, …

David Johansen got a serious glow up. Sometimes a girl’s just gotta blow off some steam. This week Alexis, pining for Ted, decides to distract herself with some townie D, and she takes Twila along to wingman. Meanwhile David is stubbornly refusing to admit his stubbornness, Johnny is fighting with Roland about the hotel lobby, and Moira has an arc …

Moira had to register her jazz hands as lethal weapons. Ya’ll seen Bridgerton? Well we talk about it, probably more than we talk about Schitt’s Creek. So get ready for that. Once we get to the episode we are delighted by Moira’s creeping stage fright, David’s fumbling attempts to impress the Schitt’s Creek youths, Alexis’s street smarts in dealing …

You know, whoever that thing belongs to, it’s been soaked in someone’s urine, just something to consider as you wave it around the hotel room. Uh oh everyone, someone in Schitt’s Creek is knocked up, and for the first 7 minutes or so of this episode it appears to be Alexis. Shortly, however, we find out that she is not the raw-doggin culprit we ass…

I can’t talk right now, I’m doing hot guy Schitt. Welcome back to Schitt’s Creek Season FOOOOOUUUUUUUUR. We’re here and we’re doing it, starting at the bottom with a literal corpse. The hotel has a dead guy problem, and the brilliant minds of Schitt’s Creek have to come together to figure out how to get it out. Meanwhile David and Alexis are evicte…

Some pictures don’t need captions. Graduation, a time where young people blossom into adults, stretch their wings, and are pushed from the nest and into a world that awaits them with an open maw, ready to grind their bones beneath their teeth, consume their flesh, and defecate their remains into neat piles of stinking refuse on the sidewalks of our…

I love the idea that Pop! commissioned this painting for the opening pilot montage, then just stored it for 3 years waiting to use it again because it was too good/expensive to throw out. Nothing is more important around the holidays than friends and family, except maybe commerce, and this week’s episode is a celebration of both. Moira rescues an a…

Put it away, Ted. This week, we got bugs. Alexis finds out that she got head lice from school, which leads to much hijinks as the rest of the family deals with the fallout, except Moira who pretty much just ignores it and deals with her own stuff. David flirts with the idea of flirting with Patrick while Stevie encourages him. And Johnny tries to d…

Looks like a young Tom Waits crawling his way out of a dead tonton after a bender on Hoth. You ever have an ex boyfriend want to take pictures of your mom so that he can publicly embarrass her for his own monetary gain? David Rose has, and he isn’t gonna stand for it. Meanwhile Alexis has to volunteer at the retirement community and learns that Ted…

“He says ‘voter fraud’ is the reason he lost!” *everyone laughs* This week we briefly discuss some fairly unimportant current events that you might have heard of. Then we watch Schitt’s Creek, in which Moira may or may not have gone to pound town with Roland (she didn’t). Alexis tries to flirt with Patrick, and Patrick tries to flirt with David. Th…