We beam in Elisabeth Clem, x-pert in The X-Files, all things Sculler and Muldo, and exactly what kind of parents would let one kid get abducted and name the other kid Fox. Feat. a round of Monster of the Week on Fleek AND mild to very major spoilers.* *TO AVOID MAJOR SPOILERS (or "spoilers," seeing as the show ended thirteen years ago), skip 31:10 …

Artist Sophie McMahan of You Were Swell stops by to talk gouache, monsters, B movies, and the skill and moxie that drive her to create comic books in which her tender feelings are narrated by buxom girl gangs with big hair and man-pulverizing laser eyes. Feat. a round of You Were Swelling.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Hit on-air personality Maggi Mayfield walks in live, radio voice and all, to teach a couple of podcast plebes about theater of the mind (instead of the butt) and how she keeps radio lyfe popping in 2015. Feat. a round of Cuba Gooding Jr.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

‘ELLO, GUVNAHS, BLOKES AND EDNAS! David Butler joins Andrew and Lindsey to explore a historic, dynamic musical landscape while some pervert films it all for television. Feat. a round of I Wanna Fold Your Sand… guvnah. #sorrycilivingPar lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Comedian Esteban Gast joins Andrew and Lindsey in the studio and nothing at all hilarious happens and it is all very boring and mundane and y'know what, you should probably just skip this one and delete this podcast and, heck, throw your computer right in the garbage. Feat. a round of Heckleberry Finn.…

When Isaac Arms of Heirship Records stops by, the members of tweecore shoegaze band of gays Mullet Over take their chance to handshake with the local label and discuss how the musician went from making tapes in his bedroom to releasing records from his living room. Feat. an unrelated, yet passionate, round of Meat Safety Dot Org and a totally unqua…

Newly jobless and with nothing to lose, Lindsey binges on Sleepy Creek wine and bands together with the still-employed Andrew to rename the podcast, complain about cover letters, dilute themselves for public acceptance, and prepare Lindsey joys and clinical depressions of unemployment.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

If you’ve never listened to You Big Dumb Idiot before, for the love of God, either don’t or do start here! Eschewing YBDI's typical cutting-edge journalism and electric camaraderie, join Andrew and Lindsey on a lush tour of the stuff that got cut in 2014, including the invention of the tampad, a literal baby winning an Olympic medal, former ghosts;…

Appetizer expert and wonderful human Michelle Hyde arrives in the YBDI studio bearing all manner of cheeses and whiskey-soaked delights to teach Andrew and Lindsey how to navigate the delicious (and adorable) realm of tiny foods. Feat. a round of Fancy Appy Party.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Local (politics) junkie and very excellent sport Sam Shore campaigns by the studio to buy Andrew’s vote with sandwiches, pander to the young people (ages 4-5), and discuss his impressive grassroots and carrot-roots campaign to run for Champaign City Council. Feat. a round of There He Is, Mr. City Council Member.…

TV personality Joe Barlow joins Bleeding Gums Murphy & the YBDI Orchestra to share his thesis on Jay Leno, almost losing an Emmy to a raccoon puppet, and the ongoing cultural relevance of good old-fashioned honest conversation (and also white guys). Feat. a round of Password in the Style of Jimmy Fallon.…

Cradle yourself in the arms of Joe Taylor to survive this insistent post-Halloween scare-o-ween: the ghost of Jimmy Stewart eats beans, Andrew has a 100% chance of getting ebola, and the scariest part of all—a guest will never arrive. Feat. Spooky Stories from Yahoo! Answers.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Devoid of guest, Lindsey and Andrew freeball their way through a podcast, exploring the real poop on topics like what decade it is, Lindsey’s exploding KKH fame, Seth Cohen’s kingdom of lies, and live-tweeting Cinderella’s ball. Feat. a round of Would You Dan Rather?Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Jetsetter Keith Hollenkamp globetrots through the studio to tell his worldly tales of Turkish baths (i.e. buckets of water to the face), eating room-temperature fermented shark, and being rescued at sea by a dragon made of puffins. Feat. a round of Where in the World is Keithman Sandiego?Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Prison ladies Andrew and Lindsey reconvene on the topics of nun hubris, mob dinner parties, talking slow and barely smiling, and the scariness of murder after rolling hard on Season 2 of Hey, Prison’s Fun Sometimes! Feat. a round of Orange Is the New DAT ASS and also, tons of spoilers, globviously.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Dapper Southern gent and animation student Donnie Ferguson talks to us about the joys of learning to make movie magic. Feat. a round of Quotes 2/Quotesters University/The Inquotables/A Quote’s Life/Quote/Quote Fu Panda/How to Quote Your Dragon (1 & 2).Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Thank The Rachel that guestpert Katie Prosise is NOT on a break from discussing the humors and hijinks of wildly different identical white people (#NotAllFriends) going commando and sticking their heads in turkeys in 1990s New York City. Feat. a round of Friends by Numbers.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Guestpert Dane Hunter takes Andrew and Lindsey from fence row to fence row on a comprehensive journey through the world of agriculture and family farming so that they can chain themselves to the land and spread their seed (corn) with all that sweet, sweet podcast money. Feat. a round of Rapid Farm.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Griffin Candey talks to Opera Nicole Smith and classically-trained penis Andrew about monks, Cat Fancy, the lines where all the dots go, and classical music, a thing he knows a lot about and also *adjusts monocle* composes. Feat. a round of Mozfart.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Andrew and Lindsey probst Lauren VanOsten on her imminent plan to be the next ruthless, cunning, and swords-for-hands-y sole survivor on the most popular reality show ever. Contains 14 years’ worth of spoilers and a round of Would You Richard Hatcher.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Gardener Martha Mills drops by this week (with pickles!) to enlighten the overwintered Andrew and Lindsey on topics like growing delicious vegetables, using compost and yard poopies, and penis fly traps. Feat. a round of Down and Dirty and several minutes of the hosts eating food into the mics.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Guestpert Cara Maurizi of Zoo Improv drops in via plane crash to give asscats Andrew and Lindsey the rundown on how to be confident improv comedians, with awful to bad results involving Funyuns and Hitler. Aaaand scene. Feat. a round of Anybody Want a Peanut?Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Profesh musicians and besties Ian Shepherd and Anthony Gravino discuss the passion, bad gigs, and endless work it takes to survive as full-time musicians right before pulling on their glitter tuxedos to tour with Ke$ha. Feat. a round of a cute name with a long name that's, frankly, a little on the nose.…

In Part II of our Miracle on Ice series, guestpert Angelina Davito returns to give us a clue on how she created and maintains an entire life separate from her own. Lindsey stands up for Apple Paltrow-Guy from Coldplay Martin and Andrew is basically giving birth all of the time. Feat. a round of People Baby-Zine.…

Menstrual cycles, CONVERGE! This week, we slough around in the ute of former pregnant lady/current mother Angelina Davito and do our best to make the miracle of conception all about us. Feat. a trip into Lindsey’s genital foyer and a round of Fruiterus.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

This week, guestpert Brian Wilcoxon teaches us just how TOTALLY METAL OPERA IS. Floods and fire and castration, y’all. The 17th century was raw. We also talk a lot about Oprah, obviously, because puns. Feat. a round of O Solo What the Hell that is entirely too difficult because it turns out there’s like, a lot of operas.…

Guestpert John Hoeffleur tells us how to fly to Ireland for less than $400, what three unexpected items NOT to skimp on, what wonder drug to buy in bulk, and how to overthrow capitalism, Bain Capital, and the entire format of our show. Feat. a round of Semi-Extreme Couponing.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

OMG, it's QMC! Andrew and Lindsey are starstruck by guestpert "Quizmaster" Chris Fairfield this week, who visits the studio with a backpack full of gifts to talk about his love for independent, creator-owned comics. Feat. a round of Out-Trivsing the Trivs Master.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Joe Taylor, owner of Sleepy Creek Vineyards, joins Andrew and Lindsey this week to conjure the spirit of Winey Mary, teach us how to open a winery in a dry Illinois township, and further his mission to get people to “just friggin’ drink” wine and quit being gross snobby weirdos about it. Feat. a round of The Wrath of Grapes and a full episode of An…

Simpsons devotee Abbi Zito stops by to chat with Andrew and Lindsey about the physics of Marge's hair, the subtleties of El Barto, and the reasons this "animated sitcom" has been beloved for like, 50 years. Feat. A Visit to the Simpsonian.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

*FULL OF SPOILERS, CLEARLY?* This week, Andrew and Lindsey air their Daenerys Targaryen obsessions in a very intellectual conversation about the second book in A Song of Ice and Fire series. Like 80% of the words they say are "Hodor." Happy New Hodor! Feat. a round of A Rash of Kings.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

This week, a celebration of Lindsey's and Andrew's friendship. Feat. mad bloops, flawless harmonies, serious Gilmore Girls spoilers, and live reporting from Andrew's Christmas party. Happy all the holidays, you guys.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Footballist Mike Prosise dumps a cooler of pigskin facts on Andrew and Lindsey this week--with no sack, blow, stiff-arm, tight end, or bump-and-run left behind. Feat. a round of In-Your-End-o and Andrew finding his Southern belle commentator calling.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

HOLD UP. GUYS. WHOA. This week, guestpert Malia Andrus blows our minds and makes us super-paranoid about all the tiny creatures living in and around our bodies, doing tons of amazing things, from making us bold little mice to helping us get drunk and eat wood (WINK). Feat. a round of Bacteria Schmacteria, the untimely death of a Marcel the Shell ri…

Throw your weak little arms in the air! In-house expert Larry Gates II schools us on the history of all things hips AND hops, including where rappists stash their cash when their pockets are full (Hint: butts). Includes a round of Hip-Hop Junk Shop.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Andrew and the Beav meet up with Head Nude and sexpert Lena H. to enjoy some buttery gender rolls and rounds of Kama Truth-ra and Touched by an Angel Episode or Naked Sex Porn Movie.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Plugworthy thrifting expert Laura Reiss gives Andrew and Lindsey good thrift on how to dress like an incredible babe on little to no money, whether you're going for faux-full or full-fur for fur fur fur. Feat. a round of Showcase Showdown (sans Barker).Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Internet, can you hear us? This week, pinball wizards Andrew and Lindsey deconstruct The Who’s rock opera film Tommy with guest expert and Rex bean Eric Burton. Feat. a game Lindsey obviously makes up on the spot and, apropos of nothing, a slobbery British man named Edward Crumplebuttons!Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Crafting goddess and post-birthday girl Kayla Wilson joins Andrew and Lindsey in the studio to chitty-chat about knitting, weaving paper balls, embroidery, and A-wreath-a Franklin. Feat. rounds of Pinterest the Tail on the Donkeyrest and Big Bag of Craft.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

It's the podcast, minus the studio, plus a LIVE AUDIENCE, plus gin and whiskey, plus the Game of Thrones theme sung by said audience in choirlike unison. Feat. a round of Name of Thrones.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Amateur home improvement expert Elle Destree Skypes in from San Francisco to chat with Andrew and Lindsey about home renovations; they force her into a show about 90s sitcoms. Feat. rounds of Wrench Time!!! (sorry) and Jonathan Trivia Thomas (decidedly not sorry) and an important sidebar about Now & Then.…

Boo, b! This episode is pure spooky gold: scary movie enthusiast Travis Wayne Hurt holds amazing court on films about teenagers being murdered in the woods. Includes rounds of Porn or Horror? and Here Lies Poor So-and-So.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Comedienne Jessica Coburn educates a newborn on Reginald Kenneth Dwight while Lindsey and Andrew scream out Disney references, flawless celebrity impressions, and dick jokes. Feat. rounds of Hold Me Closer Tony Danza and What's Elton John Wearing?Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Special guest Ben Chase joins us to talk about iPhones, Gurgle Glurs, and giving up smartphones to send calligraphy scrolls in the woods. Plus Apple to Apple and Robots in TV and Movies, as well as an inordinate number of Bane impressions for 2013.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

The jitter elixir, the brown devil, Speedy Gonzalez! Andrew and Lindsey give special guest Josh Lucas, owner/operator of Flying Machine Coffee, ill-founded business advice; Andrew deals with a startling medical issue; a whirlwind tour of 90s TV coffee shops.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Andrew flees from choices and toward a very specific brand of man; special guest/comedian Jason Dockins slays a round of Whip It or Don't Whip It; Andrew and Lindsey let the cream sit out too long.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Feat. special guest Dr. Rachel Wadley! The human mouth is an atrocity; pointies on pointies on pointies; Andrew and Lindsey face off in a round of Grossmouth.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)

Lindsey humiliates herself at the hands of Andrew's rigorous geography mind games; Algerian isn't a language; Andrew steps from place to place.Par lindseymarkel@gmail.com (Andrew Schiver & Lindsey Gates-Markel)