E51 Elizabeth Dickinson - The Concise Coaching Handbook

BS With Bob Schmidt

Bob Schmidt podcast featuring entrepreneurs, business people and marketers this week talking with Elizabeth Dickinson certified life coach and public speaker as well as author of the book. The concise coaching handbook how to coach yourself and others to get business results and I had a chance to meet Elizabeth a few months ago. Back in New York and had a chance eight, Hennepin conversation and chat a little bit about business and invited around of the podcasts talk about this and you know Elizabeth, I think that a lot of people a lot of self-starters a lot of entrepreneurs and people that are it you know in business for themselves have all these great ideas but sometimes the concise part is is a hard thing for people to get yeah I don't you think that I think the people have a hard time to try to be concise week, at least for myself. I also at taco stuff out there and I could whittled it down and said okay let's just focus in on this one little thing actually very true ruler and ruled McCracken' you folks in the real estate industry and outlets. Also, home remodelers, and a lot of then interesting the problems that they back and turn it in your heart you deal with people who don't get to the point here, and he needed some Texan checks around around that kind of think it is tricky to glow from storm helps to bring somebody out to just kind of rehearsing your head a little thing about what you can save on what your message is to be sure that you don't have to fumble around when you're actually leaving a message or on the phone and I think it's actually helpful. I am just going into and what are the top three things I need to get across in this conversation. Helping organize and train your brain just a little back so that you can do more effective conversation with other people know it is. I could hear was that based on my start of the start of the show. I'm just double checking, you know, it's funny that you brought that up because I know that my son he's 20 and he before he makes a phone called anybody he practices what he wants to say to those people and still nine times out of 10 he says dad is still screwed up. How do you have stuff to say when you're on the radio is and I honestly I don't know just kinda comes to me often because you're a great improviser and you're just ready to go with whatever energy of the conversation is going to be able to allow yourself to everybody. And so they really do think about it a little bit you so much radio experience, you probably don't get nervous. I totally the opposite. I get nervous all the top name yeah and it's it's crazy to think that but I route I really do it, or talking in front of a group of people. I despise that that's one of my least favorite things in the world to do what you I think it's a fear of messing up. I mean honestly, I've given myself permission to make mistakes. You know when it would have done things I said you know just got there, do the best you can do but I still sometimes have a difficult time trying to figure out that or I think that people perhaps are thinking well this guys professionally should do a better job than you really think I don't know. I really don't know. I I've taken classes of to. I actually went back to college as an adult to try to learn new skills and I had a speech class. I did well in the speech class but I think it's just I need to get out of my own head I don't. Maybe this counseling session with a lot of person in your shower. Friendly and welcoming role answers that people come up with more effect that they're more likely to listen to themselves are more likely to act on their own advice on impossible for them to stop thinking about what however he said it so firm so so I'm hoping if we were an actual coaching session, we help a little deeper and see if we could come up with strategies to help you need out how self-critical people are because I went to a real estate seminar a few weeks a few weeks ago there was a young Asian guy, very successful and incredibly successful. He started this whole company which is wholesaling property and so successful at it. He can't even renovate all the properties come his way. Available to other investors. He was Ernest Carol Carol. He just found no idea her nervously in my heart is beating a mile in and finding it difficult to believe the first time I've ever come in and effort in front of a group of people like doing public speaking when he even said it, right afterwards and they sent a thank you need to know a single person out here who would have been able to how you were nervous or that you had never done this before. I think you gave just for you just need to have some more confidence in what you doing and he took my card and he said you're a public speaker, so that means so much to me. You know people come from an acting background then one of the things I said to Mary your people come to place people come to environs and want to like you, with all of those judgment things in your head. You think they hide so you know you can trust and that people want to hear what you want to follow and not sitting there going. You know, being all persnickety in the way that you might be persnickety about yourself, and so I just wish that I could just inject everyone with confidence instead of what I can coach people there but I can't do it you know in their wake everyone across the state of your supercar or superpower you have them. That's what would be my superpower and holy moly but do find a lot of people that that's a problem that a lot of people have is the maybe, maybe not confidence but the fact of talking in front of people are being public. People fear public speaking more than curling crazy guy dear death little bit more than public speaking because I think I don't want to die today or tomorrow. You know I so I will talk to so a little bit crazy. You really understand your people warning the dance that they know what the man know that it's going to be received well and they want to know that their darkness grew up to want to control things you can control is what you say and how you are in the moment. So a lot of it is about finding ways currency compared to the best of your ready to just kinda let it go and be in the moment so is me saying to myself that you know I could just do the best job that you can do it mean is, is that, getting in the moment being coachable or mean or so for yourself what is going to mean something like coach from the Land O Lakes once he was really funny about what grades in offense cheer him up, but it was along the lines a little mantra of it really that important say to myself, I think I can sell it. It really that important. It actually gets used internal anxiety that he was having. And it would stop him from blowing a people which was a problem for him getting into trouble with his supervisor because so I think it's about framing the same each person. It's going to be a little bit different. You know there's working with you. I went into a box where we would go down a little bit deep into your little bit deeper into your unconscious and bring up the wise part of year and say what what is a wise target the widest part of you have to say about that. Good luck trying to find it is what everyone is wearing my was more of a wise ass. I think that I could be a white thing that will get to use it for you Frank for going to find a little routine you can get this kind will come and take away the nerves. It's all about training and experience of being human being in a human body and deal with other people what you would put you on edge strengths Finder and strengths Finder. I really recommend it to people. It's an expense at the Gallup organization put that out there and it's really useful tool when my strengths, but which I can use against any strength which is over you comes a weakness being an achiever. One of my top toppings and achievers just really like measurable progress. Everybody likes measurable progress. Patients found that one of the predictors of happiness for virtually everyone is making some slight sense of making some progress every day. That's really went early in me, and so are going out of town tomorrow and it's now easy opportunities. I fly glider term get those jobs don't you think putting off for forever and filling kinda hard on myself and it puts me in for Kerry get all of these things during the flyleaf. Yes, and I can kind of put me on imagine you know when to ease up for myself sometimes and sometimes you make more progress in earnings and I found this is an achiever, not just as a coaches that sometimes you have to track what I'm doing because I like to give myself credit for the stuff that I have to turn right. You know, if you make a whole bunch of phone calls and you give get the result that you want it like it was all messages or email. People keep calling back and keep missing each other and so nothing gets accomplished or something to remind yourself that Micco's phone calls I made five phone calls I made 10 phone calls today and even if it can result what and what I wanted your remarks to win so I think thinking a different kind of different ways to kindness that you not being too hard on yourself right is is that what is sometimes I've heard a few people say that you start every morning by making your bed is at least you got something done. I think that's a really good point. If you have lists and staff. They often do the hardest thing you may be asked to make the hardest first go through the goal. You literally start the day with more willpower than in the day with and it's kind of finite supply just harder to get harder things done. The later in the day you go so you know if you can get some of the hard stuff off early in the day I can feel better about stuff you know a little bit malleable because sometimes you need a couple of easy wind couple of hard days, easier things done first does not allow that basil one what y