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Three things should stay extinct; Dinosaurs, Movie Franchises and Podcasts. Somehow we're back and reviewing this 2022 cash-grab. The movie execs were so preoccupied with the fact they could, they didn't stop to ask if they should...or something. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth…
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Scream / Scream 5 / 5cream came out earlier in the year and we took a trip to the cinema to see it in 4DX. Granted this happened in January and I'm posting this in April so we can only apologise to the die hard CMC fans who have waited for a new episode with baited breath. All signs point to the show being as dead as Dewey Riley, but really it will…
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The CMC is in session as we review a classic meme of a movie that stars Gary Oldman in 'the role of a lifetime'. Unfortunately nobody told Gary that the role of a lifetime will involve stuffing his lower body into a sofa and attaching two stuffed trouser legs to make him look like a dwarf. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fing…
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"When we first started the show, this is the kind of thing we had in mind, so it's been a long time coming". Birdemic (2010) is a D.I.Y horror movie by visionary director James Nguyen. Featuring ear-splitting sound effects, eye watering special effects and head scratching dialogue. This is one not to be missed. https://www.instagram.com/crapmoviecl…
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Enjoy listening to our review of this cheesy superhero flick from 1996. Superheroes have come a long way since Billy Zane's portrayal of 'The Phantom'. For one, they no longer use questionable catchphrases like "nobody refuses The Phantom". It's probably for the best. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth…
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We deliver on our commitments and complete our review of Netflix's Fear Street trilogy. Find out if the premonitions which Jordan channelled from the spirit realm come true and listen as Tim single-handily unravels the film makers attempt to make the geography of Sunnyville/Shadyside make sense. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music …
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After a solid month off, we return with a run through of recent Netflix Horror adaption; Fear Street part 1. Includes a new segment "what crappens next?" which sees Jordan channel the supernatural and make a series of premonitions on what he thinks will happen in part 2. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammo…
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We review Phantoms: a very average 1998 Science Fiction / Horror starring a baby faced Ben Affleck, Rose McGowan and Peter O'Toole. Any Jordan fans may be disappointed as this is the first ever episode without him - but Tom fans will feel relieved to know their favourite history boi is present. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music -…
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A film where you get to see Sean Connery have a fight with the Invisible Man. Tim insists that the word "Extraordinary" is pronounced differently to the phrase "Extra Ordinary" but a poll of our 3 listeners was inconclusive. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth…
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Love is in the air as we review Moonstruck - a Rom/Com from 1987 starring Cher and Nic Cage. Super special guest Lauren is back with us and we fail to make it to the end of the episode without offending Italians or people with wooden hands. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth…
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We're back and talking about The Happening. M. Night Shyamalan is a director famously known for his twists, but much to Jordan's disappointment there is no real twist in The Happening and Jordan is not someone who is easily disappointed. I hope you're happy M.Night. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth…
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There's a legend in the underworld of a bullet proof casino in the sky. It's the money plane and forget about it being a legend because it's 100% real and the cast are on board it within 15 minutes of this straight-to-streaming heist movie. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth…
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The most forgettable film in the Scream franchise is reviewed by the most forgettable Movie podcast. Listen as Max, Tim and Jordan come to the realisation that this film is actually a tragedy about how Cotton Weary's life is ruined by the film's real villain, Sidney Prescott. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funk…
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Tim hosts as we have a relaxed conversation about upcoming 2021 releases and what we're most looking forward to. Includes lightweight discussion of the following; A Quiet Place 2, Godzilla Vs Kong, Candyman, No Time To Die, Halloween Kills, The Little Things, Spiderman 3, The Matrix 4 and The French Dispatch. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub…
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We bring the year to a close by reviewing New Years Eve, in which an ensemble A list cast tell us how to think and feel by pulling on our emotional heartstrings. Tom is back as special guest and thinks the most unbelieve part of this movie is the fact that someone gave away money from the goodness of their heart. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovie…
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We get festive and laugh our way through Jingle All The Way. This legendary Christmas film stars peak Arnie, as he launches a desperate bid to find the hottest toy and save Christmas from an evil postman. Merry Christmas to everyone, from Crap Movie Club xxx https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth…
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The Crap Movie Club assemble to celebrate one year of the show! In this special episode Jordan plays host and movie exec as Max, Tim, Lauren and Tom pitch their sequel ideas for the Truman Show and attempt to win the favour of our new overlord and his chaotic scoring system. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkm…
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We get back to our roots and review a terrible dragon-based film in the form of Dragonheart (1996). Sean Connery voices a cgi dragon in this lightweight fantasy romp; Jordan nails the impression time and time again. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by FunkmammothPar Crap Movie Club
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Spoiler alert: The monk isn't really bullet proof. Not in the traditional sense anyway and that's not all that's amiss in this 2003 romp starring Sean William Scott as himself and Chow Yun-fat as also himself. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by FunkmammothPar Crap Movie Club
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Halloween (2018) is a slasher film where every single bit-part character gets an elaborate backstory so that when they die at the hands of Michael Myers you don't know whether to feel sad, scared or entertained. Crap Movie Club is a podcast where we create episodes so aimless that you also don't know whether to feel sad, scared or entertained. http…
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Our childhoods are in tatters as we discuss Bob Hoskins drunkenly stumbling from scene to scene and the abomination that is Yoshi in this 1993 reimagining of everyone's favourite Plumber. "This is the worst film we've ever done". https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth…
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The best portrayal of Venom on the big screen was obviously Topher Grace in Spiderman 3, but we've had to settle for second best as we review 2018's Venom starring Tom Hardy. It's a simple movie and we have simple minds so this is a really great fit, with Max only getting slightly confused at the plot, Tim only having to recall a few niche films/ac…
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This is hands down the most X-rated movie we have talked about on Crap Movie Club (even more X-rated than Jason X!). Between Worlds is a movie where Nic Cage explores his sexual fantasy of retrieving his dead wife's soul from the afterlife and having sex with it. Try not to throw up. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns…
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We're excited for Zack Snyder's cut of the Justice League and to keep ourselves busy, we've had a go at planning our own 'Snyder cuts' for three poor performing movies. Max fixes Pirates of the Caribbean 5, Tom spruces up Tiptoes and Jordan has grand designs for Spiderman 3.Par Max Stannard, Jordan Pellant, Tim Tuck
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Everything is better when it has an "X" in the name and Jason X is no different. With this 2002 entry featuring a trip forwards in time, a cyborg programmed for sex and countless horny teens to murder, Jason Voorhees has found himself in a literal paradise - now you can experience a literal hell by listening to us try to form a coherent review. htt…
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In the 80s, McDonald's funded an E.T knock-off and Mac & Me is the result. We watched this so you don't have to. Listen as Max get's confused and thinks that it would be appropriate to swap in a jockey, for any stunts involving an actor in a wheelchair. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth…
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We're back and ranking our favourite movie sidekicks, in a bid to find one sidekick to rule them all! Tim's still playing to win and will stop at nothing to see his picks make it to the tippety top - but do Max and Jordan have what it takes to stop him? https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth…
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Riki-Oh is a film about one man's journey for revenge and freedom. It contains a climax scene where a guy is fed into a giant meat-grinder and if you do anything today, go check that out on youtube. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by FunkmammothPar Crap Movie Club
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The awesomeness of the G.I. Joe franchise is wasted on us as we review the second movie in this adrenaline-pumping series and get super confused about the Joe's recruitment processes. If you don't listen to the full 89 minutes then you clearly wouldn't have what it takes to join such an elite fighting force. Max is super proud with his pitch for G.…
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The streets of Gotham stink of crime and there are only 3 amateur podcasters capable of cleaning up the filth. Max, Jordan and Tim review 1997's Batman & Robin - a movie with arguably the most erect nipples ever caught on camera. https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth…
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Things get serious as we rank and assess a slew of movie-based meanies and try to draft our top team of movie henchmen. Tim takes things very seriously as Jordan opts for a different strategy - controlling the scoring system to ensure his picks make it to the top! https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth…
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We welcome Tom to the show as he helps us talk through A Knight's Tale which is "the best sports movie ever made". We learn the definition of the word "anachronism" and enjoy riffing on all of the 4 montages which they crammed in here! https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth…
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Jordan acts a sublime host while we discuss Movies based on Video Games. What's worked? What hasn't worked? Which games are crying out to be put on the big screen? All the important questions are answered as the Gamers rise up! https://www.instagram.com/crapmovieclub/ Intro Music - Fingerguns by Funkmammoth…
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