Do you want football stats, analysis and unbiased reporting? Well you have come to the WRONG place my friend. We call it like we see it and sometimes how we remember it, as we celebrate football without trying to blow anyone's tiny mind. Truly, a No Nonsense Podcast
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Man City 4 Ever, Enjoyably Arsenal, Farewell Klopp - Premier League 2023/2024 Recap
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As the curtain falls on another Premier League season, things wrapped up pretty much as expected. Arsenal are the latest victims of the Man City machine, as a near perfect Premier League run in was over 2 minutes in to the final day thanks to a brace from player of the season Phil Foden. 4 in a row now for Manchester City, and 6 of the last 7 leagu…
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Ange Finds Cracks in Tottenhams Foundations, Aston Villa Dinner Dance, A New Era of VAR? | Patreon Preview
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In a jam packed Ultra's only epiosde we discuss how it took just under a full season for Ange Postecoglou to be hit full force by the Spurs mentality, after one of the stangest potential deciding games of all time as Tottenham faced Man City. Aston Villa however, were much more familiar with the history of the Tottenham and celebrated in style as t…
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Old Trafford Falls, Arsenal Have Done All They Can, Mbappé's Goodbye, Moyes to Ireland?
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In yet another summing up of the season, Old Trafford literally caved in around Ten Hag's Man United as Arsenal saw off their last "top 6" challenge of the season. In a title race that's tighter than ever, it's never felt so hopeless. As Arsenal's near perfect record doesn't look like it will be enough to stop the Man City machine. But you can't sa…
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Tuchel Screwed Tuchel, Project Mbappe's Findings, Hummels Last Hurrah | Patreon Preview
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After missing our chance to record earlier in the week we briefly catch up on the Casemiro character assasination by Jamie Carragher after Man United's 4-0 loss to Crystal Palace. We then get into the meat of the episode, our little glimpse into this weeks Ultra's only European episode. We cover the Bayern downfall which may have been spurred on by…
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Carragher Visits the Yellow Wall, Sancho Shines, Madrid's Year? | Patreon Preview
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The greatest Champion's League of all time continues with some more top notch knockout games. Real Madrid looked as unstoppable as ever while Bayern also looked pretty damn good in a 2-2 draw, if only it weren't for that darn Kim Min-jae says Tuchel. Dortmund won the home leg against PSG thanks to a goal from the young as ever Füllkrug and a star p…
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Salah Scorched Earth, Arsenal Survive the Derby, Golden Boy Raya, Man Utd Salary Cap Clear Out
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It's everyones favourite time of the season where things become MATHEMATICALLY CONFIRMED. Liverpool look officially out of the title race after a 2-2 draw with West Ham which saw yet another incredible moment of inept refereeing and a Salah and Klopp sideline bust up. Arsenal got through a North London Derby with a 3-2 win over Tottenham. But despi…
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Liverpool Probably Lose the League, Chelsea Prove They Are Cole Palmer FC, Are Everton Stuck At This Level? | Patreon Preview
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It looks all but over for Liverpool as a dejected Klopp sighed after they lost to Merseyside rivals Everton for the first time in Goodison Park in 13 years. Where has it all gone wrong for Liverpool? Can Klopp really have any blame for Nunez missing 1 on 1's? Pochettino but his foot in his mouth by announcing this Arsenal game was a chance for his …
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Man United's Worst Win Ever, Nottingham Forest Explore Their Options, Antony Doesn't Get It, Pep's Passionate Plea
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Man United gifted us yet another fixture of madness, this time giving up a 3-0 lead to almost lose 4-3 to Coventry in the FA Cup semi final In the midst of the most embarrassing win in history, only one man was celebrating which begs the question, does Antony know who he's playing for? Man City also made their way past the FA Cup semi final, with a…
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Bernardo's Blunder, Bayern are Still Bayern, Should Arsenal Be Proud? | Patreon Preview
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One of the best Champions League knockout rounds in history continued to excite with upsets across the board as lowly teams like Real Madrid and Bayern Munich managed to stop the might Premier League giants. Man City were knocked out by Madrid after a particularly mad penalty shootout in a game which apparently Kevin De Bruyne and Erling Haaland di…
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Chelsea Penalty Petulance, Arsenal & Liverpool Miss Big, Cole World, Our First Race Row
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In a weekend which should have been dominated by Arsenal and Liverpool's slip ups, Chelsea managed to make a routine dismantling of Everton and turn it into a showcase of how much of a shambles they are as a squad. After a rapid hat trick from Cole Palmer, things were looking good, but once it was time to take a penalty to further the hammering, th…
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Arsenal Saved by Common Sense Rule, City and Madrid go Goal for Goal, Gnabry Cooks | Patreon Preview
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Arsenal's blushes were saved after a bizarre handball incident could have really embarrassed them in the Champions League knockouts against Bayern Munich. As it was though they managed a 2-2 draw that had penalties, penalty shouts, crazy runs through the middle and more! Man City and Real Madrid took a leaf out of Man United's book and just gave it…
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Old Trafford Transition Thriller, Kevin De Best, Real Madrid Revenge, Can a Good Celebration Make a Player?
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Man United have done it again, this time dragging Liverpool into their game of chaos laced ping pong ball. United drew 2-2 with Liverpool in Old Trafford, a result which could really hurt Liverpool's title chances, and a game where they'll be kicking themselves over missed chances again. Are Arsenal the best team in the league now, why does it stil…
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Man United's Latest Implosion, Cole Palmer's Cool As You Like, Chelsea Haven't Progressed | Patreon Preview
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Manchester United gifted us with yet another classic 4-3 in another back and forth game where the midfield and defending was more a suggestion than a necessity. Chelsea managed to win 4-3 after being 3-2 down in the 99th minute (!) How in the world did this happen and why didn't anyone stop Cole Palmer. Speaking of Cole, his penalty tally is now at…
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City vs. Arsenal's Dull Display, Alonso's Not Leaving, Tonali's Troubles, Is Ten Hag's Time Up?
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Say it quietly, but we are approaching squeaky bum time in the Premier League. The much hyped top of the table clash between Man City and Arsenal ended up a 0-0 borefest. Much to the annoyance of Pep who took it out on Jack Grealish, and Roy Keane who took it out on Erling Haaland. The return of Harvey Barnes was good news for Newcastle as he helpe…
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Roy Keane for Ireland, Southgate to United, Cancelo Fires Back at City | Patreon Preview
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The international break has come to an end, and with that comes a whole slew of paper talk. John O'Shea's pals in the media and the Ireland squad have been calling for him to get the job officially after a classic 0-0 draw followed up with a 1-0 loss to Switzerland. Rumours abound that Roy Keane has met with the FAI three times over the manager rol…
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Endrick Lives His Dreams, John O'Shea Wants to Stay, Germany Score Instantly, Footballer Guess Who?
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The international break is here and there sure were some friendlies on show. The John O'Shea interim era began with a pretty respectable 0-0 against former world ranking leaders Belgium. But what does this really mean in the grand scheme of things? Endrick officially arrived on the international scene with his first goal for Brazil in 1-0 win over …
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Man United and Liverpool 4-3 Chaos, The Magic of the FA Cup, Manic Managers, The Lingard Zone
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The magic of the cup was in full effect over the weekend as there were comebacks, classics and chaos galore in the F.A Cup Quarter Finals. Man United and Liverpool played out an all time classic 4-3 which had a whole lot of goals, huge moments not much defending, a 120th minute winner from Amad Diallo and even a surprise goal from Antony. After the…
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Champions League Back to its Best, Raya Stays Focused, Arteta's Alleged Comments | Patreon Preview
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*Apologies for audio issues on this episode! Back to crystal clear audio honey from next episode on. We're back with another preview of our Ultra's only midweek episode with all of the action from the Champions League. Arsenal managed to finally get past the round of 16 despite a valiant Porto effort. The game saw Raya make some huge saves in the f…
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Klopp On Dean, Doku on Mac Allister, Arsenal Back on Top
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After a heated war of words involving Trent, Dias, Haaland, Walker, Klopp and Pep, Man City and Liverpool played out an exciting 1-1 draw full of missed chances and controversial decisions. We ask once again what exactly are the rules and consult the F.A's own rulebook to see what constitutes a 'high foot' after Doku narrowly escaped giving away a …
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Doubting Rashford, Darwin Nunez Cult Status, La Liga Chaos, The Simpsons Starting Eleven
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Man United suffered yet another Manchester derby defeat as it seems to get easier for Man City every single time. In a game which saw the best and worst of Marcus Rashford Speaking of Rashford, he firmly placed himself in the news before the game with a Players Tribune piece where he re-affirmed his love for the club and told his haters, doubt him …
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Boys Vs Men - Liverpool Win 23/24 Carabao Cup, Eddie Howe's Final Warning, Everton Get Their Points Back
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A momentus day for Klopp's Kids as his injury ridden Liverpool side filled with academy prospects managed to topple the so called "billion pound bottle jobs" Chelsea. Is this narrative fair on Chelsea? And is Klopp right to feel like this was a bigger win than their Champions League and Premier League? How will playing this collection of youngsters…
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Is This the Worst Champions League Ever? Gunners Misfire at Mental Block, Klopp's Luton Lunacy | Patreon Preview
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A special preview of the Ultras only midweek Patreon episode, where we cover round two of the worst set of Champions League knockouts ever! Arsenal sunk to a last minute goal from Porto after 90 minutes of no shots on target, is inexperience in Europe costing the competitions 3rd overall outright favourites? The loss of away goals and the rise of t…
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Guardiola's Jibes & Kelleher's Vibes, Man United's Backroom Blitz, Sunderland 'Til I Die Season 3 Review
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We are entering crunch time in the Premier League, but it seems the usual Man City steamrolling has not kicked fully in to gear just yet. After a 1-1 draw with Chelsea, Pep Guardiola launches his latest biting attack on fellow manager Pochettino. As likeable as ever that Pep! We ponder the future of Caoimhin Kelleher as he performs well for Liverpo…
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The End of PSG, Kane Is Cursed, Coming To Terms With Turning 30 | Patreon Preview
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A special preview of this weeks Ultras only bonus episode where we talk through a pretty drab set of Champions League fixtures and come to terms with our age and mortality! On the full episode we also talk about Man City as they cruise their way to back to back trebles, despite whatever Pep may say in the press conferences. With Mbappé leaving for …
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Blue Card Blues, Stick to Doping, Rice's Revenge, Hojlund On Fire
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We are back in more ways than one as we return to recording the pod IN PERSON after a few months of being over 5000 miles away from each other. We try wrap our heads around the lawmakers newest crazy idea for football, the BLUE card and ask what does this mean for the dark arts? Arsenal get their revenge and then some by sticking it to West Ham 6-0…
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Klopp Out : Jurgen Klopp to Leave Liverpool
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Liverpool announced manager Jurgen Klopp is officially set to leave Liverpool at the end of the season, we ponder what or who is next for the club, how will this effect the rest of the season, our thoughts on the goodbye video and is this really as much of a surprise as it seems? In stark contrast, over at Barcelona, Xavi has also announced he's se…
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Ivan Toney the Terrible, MORE Awards For Messi and Ronaldo , Our Animal Elevens
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It's Ivan Toney's world and we're all just living in it as the striker had the red carpet rolled by Brentford out for a hero's welcome after his lengthy ban for gambling. Toney just couldn't help himself as he continued his new role as football's pantomine villain with some blatant cheating followed up by a spot of lying after his free kick goal ag…
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Jadon Sancho and The Post Fergie Flops, KDB is Simply De Best, Late Stage Mourinho
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WE HAD SOME TECHNICAL ISSUES ON THIS EPISODE. IF THE AUDIO GETS KNOCKED OUT OF SYNC AROUND HALF AN HOUR IN DELETE AND THEN RE-DOWNLOAD THE EPISODE AND IT SHOULD BE FIXED! APOLOGIES! Jadon Sancho officially left Manchester United on "loan" back to Borussia Dortmund, so where does he rank in the pantheon of all time worst United signings in the last …
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Messi's Revenge, Mbappés Aura, Checkmate Ronaldo - Captains of the World Netflix Series Review
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With the winter fixtures coming thick and fast we decided to take a little break from our usual Premier League coverage and instead sat down and binged the latest Netflix football offering - Captains of the World. We go through each episode of the show as it shows us the 2022 Qatar World Cup from the perspective of some of the teams captains, and s…
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New Year Same Man United, No More Top Four, Who is the BEST Player in the World Right Now?
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This episode was recorded early on Saturday before the latest round of fixtures, but we managed to actually be totally accurate on Man United's latest false dawn and how it's all changed this year for Arsenal! A dramatic 3-2 comeback against title contenders Aston Villa and a Holjund miracle goal seemed like the beginning of another new era for Man…
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A No Nonsense Christmas Special
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Merry Christmas or should we say Feliz Navidad, as we bring you the third annual Christmas day special, this time LIVE from Mexico! The naughty 11 of players that were BANNED for Christmas Our absolute locked in guarantees for the rest of the season. And of course we take a look at the TV Guide to let you know what to watch today RATE US 5 STARS ON…
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Liverpool Psyche Themselves Out, Dalot's Double Dissent, Everton Vs The World, The Club America Story
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Liverpool vs Man United was not the game everyone was expecting, as instead of another 7-0 hammering, it was a dull 0-0 draw in an unusally quiet Anfield. The latest incident in a season heavily impacted by 'football psychology'. Van Dijk was clearly not happy after the game and maybe even already feeling the pressure of being top, much to the deli…
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Joey Barton : Hate Merchant, Aston Villa Thillers, Richarlison's Revenge, Newcastle Down Not Out
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In the latest twist in the cesspool that is Football X (formerly known as Twitter) a new character has emerged, Joey Barton, playing the part of mysoginist. But is this really how he feels or is he just playing the same game as so many others have before him. Unai Emery's Aston Villa saw off Arsenal and Manchester City with back to back wins and ha…
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Why the Face Haaland? Ten Hag in Trouble, Spurs Stand on Business
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WTF asked Erling Haaland after a bizarre referee error saw a controversial end to a thrilling 3 -3 draw between Man City and Spurs. A game where Ange Postecoglu's Tottenham showed once again without a shadow of a doubt that they stand on business no matter what. Erik Ten Hag could be in trouble as an especially mopey Manchester United looked hopele…
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Oh No Onana, The Newcastle Handball 'Disgrace' | Patreon Preview
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A special preview of this weeks Ultras only bonus episode where we talk the closing stages of the last ever old school Champions League group stages which featured controversy and mad results galore. Newcastle were 'ROBBED' of a historic second victory over PSG thanks to a last minute VAR intervention, a case of corruption or just plain old footbal…
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Garnacho Golazo, Arsenal Back On Top, Nunez Has A Pop at Pep, VAR Enters The Danger Zone
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Things went from bad to worse for Everton as two minutes into their Premier League protest Garnacho scores "the best goal ever" according to some with an incredible bicycle. But was it really all that incredible? A last minute winner from Kai Havertz puts Arsenal top of the league somehow, even in the midst of the ongoing Ramsdale vs Raya goalkeepe…
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The Everton Showtrial, Ireland Are Hard to Watch and Easy to Beat, The Inglorious 11, The Worst Tackle in Football History
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Yet another international break comes to a close and it also looks like Stephen Kenny's time is over as Ireland manager also after a 1-0 loss to the Netherlands caps off one of the worst qualifying groups in Irish history. Everton got the book thrown at them as they recieved an unprecedented 10 point deduction for FFP breaches. We ponder why now an…
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Pep's Face Palmer, Tottenham Tested, The Cachirules Scandal, The Soccer AM-ification of Sky Sports
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What looked like a dud round of fixtures to prepare us for the hum drum of the international break turned out to be a possible pivotal week in the title race. Manchester City dropped two points to expert parade rainers Chelsea fc. A team with undoubtedly talented players and a proven coach, are Chelsea a sleeping giant or a collection of talented i…
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Patreon Preview | Chelsea vs Spurs Madness, Did Ange Postecoglu Get it Wrong? Frank Lampard Lies About Jude Bellingham
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A special preview of this weeks Ultras only bonus episode where we took a look at one of the madder games in recent memory as Spurs took on Chelsea in a game that featured red cards, injuries, the worst hat trick of all time and much more! The Ange Postecoglu love in is over it feels like as the tide turns on the likeable manager after some questio…
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Arteta is Sick of It, Newcastle's Football Identity, Poch Doesn't Love Chelsea Yet
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Mikel Arteta did not mince his words after a rare triple VAR check during Arsenal vs Newcastle saw a goal stand that may have been out, may have been offside and may have been a foul. Arsenal are standing by their man, but why now and why this game? And why not a month ago when it happened to Liverpool? Newcastle seem to have embraced their self ap…
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Old Trafford is Falling Down, Everton Take One For The Team, Messi Wins One More Ballon d'Or
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"Old Trafford is falling down, Ten Hag is a (censored) clown, Glazers staying 10 more years, Man City are on the beers". This is the song that bellowed out for 70 odd minutes as Manchester City cruised to a 3-0 win against Man United away from home, as things go from bad to worse for Erik Ten Hag's men that will NEVER be Ajax. Further down the leag…
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A Cooking For The Ages, Nostalgia Merchants, Mudryk's Cross-Come-Shot
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Who let the Premier League cook this week? Ex footballer, current chef, Gordon Ramsay kicked things off with one of the worst podcast appearances you'll ever hear in your life on the High Performance Podcast. James Milner was the latest player to get COOKED by Jeremey Doku, we ask what exactly entails a cooking, and has it always been like this? It…
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David's Just Like Us - Beckham Documentary Review
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With the regular games on hiatus due to international break, we had a chance to sit down and watch the Beckham series on Netflix. We run through the whole show and discuss the highlights, the haircuts, the insubordination, winning the treble with Man United, somehow winning the league with Real Madrid and the Galacticos, that 'incident' that happen…
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Arsenal Vs Man City Really Matters, Eden Hazard So Close Yet So Far, The Mike Dean Show Featuring Paul Merson
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Arsenal finally manage to exorcise their demons as they beat Man City for the first time since 2015, back then the games were decided by the teams on the pitch believe it or not! Man Citys back to back losses see's them spiraling, is this the usual October blip or something worse? Brighton and Liverpool played out a 2-2 end to end cracker, but not …
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The PGMOL Evidence, Galatasary Conquer Old Trafford - Patreon Preview
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Over on the No Nonsense Patreon, our Ultra's got a bonus Champions League episode where we dove into the Arsenal, Newcastle, Man United and Madrid games and also touched on the incredible PGMOL tapes. That's wrong that Daz! Support the Show. Want to support us and also get some sweet bonus exclusive pods? Head to patreon.com/nononsensepod where you…
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VAR You Serious 4 : Where Do We Draw The Line?
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Arguably the most significant human error yet in relation to VAR as Liverpool are reduced to 9 men controversially, and also denied a perfectly good goal from the most easily fixable mistake imaginable. These VAR errors proved costly as Liverpool lost to Spurs with a last minute equaliser. Sorry isn't good enough anymore PGMOL! Outisde of the catal…
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North London Derby Becomes the #NLD, Newcastle 8 That, Liverpool Go Again, Is Rodri The Best Player In The World Right Now?
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The Premier League rolls on with some big results and some short abbreviations! Arsenal and Spurs finish 2-2 after a back and forth North London Derby, and Spurs new big personalities Ange Postecoglu and James Maddison leave their mark in the post match press conferences. Sheffiled United are put to the sword by Newcastle with 8 goals from 8 differ…
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Erik Ten Hag Under Pressure, Ange Postecoglou Top Bloke, Richarlison's Redemption Arc, Harry Maguire Mood Shift
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Manchester United's never ending problems continue as they suffer yet another loss to Brighton. Ange Postecoglou's show of basic human decency has been a revelation in the world of professional football and has been a huge part of their rise into top 4 contention. Liverpool have also had a surprisingly good start to the season, but is it based too …
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What's Next for Ireland? Neymar's Legacy, Southgates Last Tournament, Hansi Flicked
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It looks like the end of the road for Stephen Kenny as Ireland lose back to back to France and the Netherlands. A failure to adapt tactically punished the Boys in Green again as it looks like we've hit the end of the road for Kenny Ball. Who is being lined up to be the new Irish manager according to the bookies and what's it got to do with skinny j…
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Sancho Sounds Off, Haaland Would Be Fuming, Evan Ferguson Hat-Trick, Arsenal Favourites for Second
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1:03:55
We're back after a disastrous forced one week exodus to discuss the goings on of an exciting weekend of Premier League Action. Evan Ferguson put his name amongst the greats with a hat trick at just 18 years of age to set the hype train fully in motion as Brighton beat Newcastle 3-1. Man United's woes went from bad to worse as two late goals and som…
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