Les meilleurs podcasts Runkle (2024)

1
Here’s How You Know It’s Time to Tell Him You’re Into Him 17:04

1d ago17:04

17:04

You have a friend you’re secretly in love with. You thought you had to act like just a friend, to keep them as a friend, because you were sure they would never have feelings for you. That could be true, or could be your low self-esteem talking. What if all this time, they were pretending to be just a friend too? Should you risk telling them how you…

1
How Trauma Makes It Hard to Recognize What’s Really Happening 19:21

3d ago19:21

19:21

When traumatized people date, it’s easy to detach from reality, and create elaborate constructs that explain why other people do what they do, and why we feel hurt by it – without having to actually admit what's really happening. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who is feeling confused (a tell-tale sign you've been "soft-ghosted" wh…

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You May Be Signalling to Others That You Feel “Less-Than” 14:55

5d ago14:55

14:55

Even if you're good at acting confident, you may be giving off signs that you feel "less than" other people. Low self-esteem can have the effect of pushing good people away from you, and this in turn makes it harder to grow in confidence. In this video from my archive, I teach about what I call "the underdog effect" -- the unspoken signals you may …

1
They're Not Into You, So You Love Them MORE (4-Video Compilation) 1:15:04

6d ago1:15:04

1:15:04

People neglected as children sometimes spend their WHOLE life longing for love – chasing it, fighting for it, and never having it, all because of an attraction to unavailable people. This includes people who are married and can’t really be with you (but string you along), or people who flat out aren’t into you. Yet your wounds from childhood make y…

1
Family Emotional Abuse and The Lifelong Sense of Disconnection 14:09

8d ago14:09

14:09

It’s a terrible form of abuse when whole families gang up on one person. Sometimes it’s scapegoating, where they blame you for problems you never caused. Sometimes it’s just plain bullying and cruelty, and of course it leaves terrible wounds, even when you KNOW the abuse was about them, not you, and even when you’ve worked hard to create a good lif…

1
How to Keep Narcissistic Parents From Controlling Your Life 20:14

10d ago20:14

20:14

Some people get consumed by narcissistic loved ones they’re trying to stay connected with. Other people get off the treadmill by going no contact. But a lot of people are in the middle, with a mix of concern, and a desire to help – with total exasperation, feeling drained and fed up with the narcissist’s endless demands for attention and free labor…

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This Mindset Strengthens You to Overcome Childhood Trauma 19:55

12d ago19:55

19:55

I have a secret portal that allows me to see and understand what childhood trauma does to people -- the different patterns it follows, and which kinds of people end up making rapid progress, and which ones stay stuck. I get this insight from letters and YouTube comments -- thousands of them. And there are basically two kinds of comments: One is the…

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Emotional Dysregulation Damages Relationships (4-Video Compilation) 1:26:00

13d ago1:26:00

1:26:00

If you grew up hurt by your parents -- neglected, not heard, not seen – chances are good that you get emotionally dysregulated. This means your nervous system reacts to stressors with EXTRA strong emotions. When most people would be hurt, you’re devastated. When you fall in love feels ENORMOUS. And getting angry (unfortunately for the people who lo…

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Trauma Makes Us Feel "Different." But Is It True? 13:57

15d ago13:57

13:57

A lot of us who grew up with trauma have trouble shaking off the feeling that we’re somehow different than non-traumatized people. It seems sometimes like everyone else seems to know how to act, what to say, how to be connected -- but that we never got the memo. Do you ever feel like that? In this video I talk about the feeling among people who wer…

1
Don’t Let Manipulative “Poly” Friends Push You to Self-Abandon 22:38

17d ago22:38

22:38

Everyone MUST be free to pursue the relationships and the way of life that makes them happy. Provided what they are doing is legal, we can’t condemn them. But even though some behaviors are legal, it doesn’t mean they aren’t destructive to others -- I’m talking about bullsh**ing vulnerable people into having intimate relationships that are NOT in t…

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5 Ways a Lack of Attunement Keeps You From Connecting 36:23

19d ago36:23

36:23

So many people are feeling blocked from connecting with other people. If you find yourself trying and trying, but nothing seems to lead to friendship or people even seem to be pulling away from you, there might be a problem with your *attunement* – your ability to sense another person’s openness, or to “read the room". In this video I'll tell you s…

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Avoid These Self-Centered Behaviors (3-Video Compilation) 1:16:48

20d ago1:16:48

1:16:48

It's popular to call out relatives and ex-partners as narcissists, but what about the self-centered behaviors and thinking that are common in people traumatized as children? In this 4-video compilation, I share four of my most popular videos about the way ordinary people may exhibit narcissistic behaviors. These traits can make life hard while they…

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Your Partner’s Behavior is Trauma-Related, But It’s Still Not OK 17:45

22d ago17:45

17:45

One very bad sign that someone is losing themself in an unhappy relationship, is that they write to me about their partner and how wonderful they are, then tell me all about their partner’s traumatic past -- and then list all the ways their partner is mistreating them. It's as if they don't want me to see the facts. Trauma might be an explanation f…

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S*x Work Thrives On Dissociation and Blocks Your Healing 19:32

24d ago19:32

19:32

Unpopular opinion, but so-called “adult entertainment” could not exist if there weren’t a steady supply of people who were abused as children, and skilled at shutting themselves down emotionally so that other people could use them for “pleasure.” It’s one of many ways that manipulative people – or those they have manipulated – like to normalize an …

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Isolating to Manage Stress is a Trauma Symptom 19:23

26d ago19:23

19:23

There’s an almost universal symptom that people who grew up with trauma will tend to exhibit - and it’s a sense of isolation. Either you feel isolated even with people, or you literally isolate. Shutting people out feels like it's the right, best, most self caring thing you can do sometimes when you're under stress. But if you think that's a good t…

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Limerence Is Toxic Fix for Lonely, Joyless Life (4-Video Compilation) 1:16:11

27d ago1:16:11

1:16:11

If you were emotionally neglected as a child, you may be extra-prone to direct your romantic energy toward people who are not with you. It’s the consequence of an injury to our neurological development, and it can have terrible consequences for you and the people who love you. In this 4-video compilation, I share some of my most popular videos abou…

1
Walking on Eggshells So THEY Feel OK Means It’s Time to Go 11:44

29d ago11:44

11:44

Just because someone got a credential to practice therapy doesn’t necessarily mean they’re mentally stable, or able to prioritize the attention that you deserve, over whatever it is they’re feeling. If you had a parent who neglected you or exhibited narcissistic traits, you may have a blind spot for this behavior in others. In this video I respond …

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What “I’m Not Ready For a Relationship” Really Means 24:53

1M ago24:53

24:53

So many of us who grew up with trauma live as “divided selves” – longing for real love, but playing along to keep people around who DON’T want that – not with us, anyway – but who are happy to soak all our attention and time Iand of course, sex). Your ability to believe you can change how they feel by giving them all you've got – but never honestly…

1
Some People Lash Out. Others Shut Down. Which Are You? 35:30

1M ago35:30

35:30

When we talk about trauma symptoms, we talk a lot about strong feelings, acting out and emotional dysregulation. But there’s this other side of how trauma wounds and CPTSD can control your behavior, and it’s through *self-suppression*. In this video I teach the signs that your trauma is driving to suppress yourself. You may be surprised how much it…

1
How Trauma Makes It Hard to See What's Real (4-Video Compilation) 1:25:17

1M ago1:25:17

1:25:17

When it comes to healing CPTSD, there's abundant advice and hundreds of treatments, but they rarely take into account that trauma wounds make it difficult to learn, process, remember, and categorize information. When your thinking is distorted, it's hard to tell what is your responsibility and what is not -- and to recognize choices available to yo…

1
How to REALLY Declutter Reminders of the Painful Past 14:09

1M ago14:09

14:09

A huge number of people who lived through trauma have ended up with a LOT of physical clutter. And because clutter can hold you back, it’s a good thing when you release belongings that you’ve held onto that you DON’T need, that you can’t use, and that only bring you a sense of stress and obligation. But what about the old letters, gifts and cards t…

1
Why It's Hard to Tell if a Friendship is Good (Or Toxic) 17:27

1M ago17:27

17:27

If you’re like a lot of people who grew up with trauma, you feel most comfortable with friends who also had trauma – people who struggle at times with the same trauma-driven problems you’ve struggled with. These people can feel like HOME for us – until we start to heal from trauma, and their actual flaws become more visible to us. Should you try to…

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If You Had Trauma in Childhood, Healing This Will Change Your Life 17:52

1M ago17:52

17:52

There is a massive, almost universal trigger for Childhood PTSD symptoms – and you probably have it (even people who were not traumatized sometimes have it). It is HURRYING. We all do it. But when you have Childhood PTSD, hurrying very easily turns into overwhelm, and can trip you up and sabotage the most important things in your life. In this vide…

1
Heal Insecurity-Driven Relationship Patterns (4-Video Compilation) 1:42:46

1M ago1:42:46

1:42:46

People who were neglected as children often struggle to form stable, lasting relationships. One big reason is insecure attachment -- a wound of trauma (particularly neglect) that creates a chronic sense of anxiety that you're not wanted, or you are about to be abandoned. You might RUSH in and get enmeshed with someone you just met, or exhaust yours…

1
Believing You’re Responsible to Fix Them Is Why It’s Not Working 16:05

1M ago16:05

16:05

The reason I say codependency is so destructive to everyone it touches is that A) it drains the person who has abandoned themselves to become entirely focused on fixing another person, and B) the person being fixed is NOT fixed -- and doesn’t like it, and will usually leave. But that’s not what it FEELS like when you’ve been showing up in good fait…

1
Stop Pretending You Don’t Need Love 24:14

2M ago24:14

24:14

When people want a “just-sex” relationship, they can hardly resist the lure of traumatized people who will pour out pure gold from their heart and yet suffer in silence that their “friend with benefits” never returns their love. Neglect in childhood does that to people – makes you feel ashamed that you want and need something more than a fling – it…

1
These Triggers Are Telltale Signs You Were Neglected and Ostracized in Childhood 24:55

2M ago24:55

24:55

It's painful for a child to be left out, ignored and never included. This counts as trauma, and leaves behind telltale signs in the form of triggers in adulthood. You may find yourself reacting strongly with anger, anxiety or self-abandonment when people overlook you or disappoint you now, in adulthood. Unfortunately, this aspect of CPTSD can desta…

1
Effects of Neglect, Abandonment & Chaos In Childhood (4-Video Compilation) 57:30

2M ago57:30

57:30

If you were neglected or abandoned as a child, or your home life was full of chaos, you may still feel the effects through a pattern of triggers that push your nervous system into a dysregulated state. In this 4-video compilation, I share some of my most popular videos about CPTSD triggers that are common -- but most people haven't connected them w…

1
Trauma Wounds Trigger Dissociation and "Flight" When You’re Loved 12:22

2M ago12:22

12:22

Imagine finally finding someone who loves you as you are. And after so many painful attempts to find love, THIS person is right by your side and wants to be with you. So what is it in people who grew up with trauma, that the presence of someone THIS good, can shut you down, and make things feel "not real"? In this video I respond to a letter from a…

1
How Trauma Bonds Wreck Your Mental Health 18:37

2M ago18:37

18:37

Even rats will get obsessed if you alternate kindness with abuse. So it isn’t any wonder that people who grew up with trauma would have a tendency to fall in love even HARDER when the people who say they love you suddenly kick you out the door. Non-traumatized people recognize this as abuse by an unstable and selfish person. In this video I respond…

1
Here are Signs No One Listened To You in Childhood 19:52

2M ago19:52

19:52

Children normally learn to handle themselves in the world from their parents. If you were ignored, you had to figure things out by yourself using a child's logic. In adulthood, you may find yourself going into a stress response when you try to communicate, especially when expressing emotions, or setting boundaries. This cold be a sign you weren't l…

1
Free Yourself From Your Family's Dysfunction (4-Video Compilation) 1:28:02

2M ago1:28:02

1:28:02

If you were born to sick people who neglect you, exclude you, and they couldn't give you proper care or protect you from harm, it was only natural for you to feel as a child that your family's shame was yours too. In this four-video compilation, I share four of my most popular videos about the harms that come from growing up in dysfunctional famili…

1
If Love Is What You Want, Here’s What to Do Differently 13:50

2M ago13:50

13:50

When someone writes to me and says “I’m dating this guy,” I learned to understand that “DATING” for some people means “just having sex.” No friendship, no commitment, no talking about real things, no helping each other through tough times JUST. SEX. So it breaks my heart when someone with the ordinary understanding of dating gets walked all over by…

1
Childhood Trauma, Lost Identity and RAGE 35:00

2M ago35:00

35:00

People who were neglected in childhood often turn out with a false identity that they were pressured into by parents who couldn’t see who they were AT ALL. This a pattern I’ve come to recognize in hundreds of letters I receive. There’s a developmental delay, almost, in forming a sense of self – of knowing your preferences, what make you make happy,…

1
Watch This And Find Out How Far You've Come (Further Than You Think!) 11:34

2M ago11:34

11:34

Watching videos about trauma can take you down a rabbit hole of bad memories, scary diagnoses, and fears and doubts about whether life will better for you. Chances are, you’re ALREADY getting better, and in this video I teach you the signs that your healing may be well underway. Watch this and soak up validation and encouragement for all the hard w…

1
How To Stay Sane When You Fall In Love (4-video Compilation) 1:00:10

2M ago1:00:10

1:00:10

Nothing ruins new love like an agenda. If you grew up with trauma, you may end up romantically attached to people before you've gotten to know them, but there's a better way to date! In this four-video compilation, I share four of my most popular videos for people with CPTSD who want to change trauma-driven dating patterns and find real love at las…

1
Obsessive Love Can Cross The Line Into Dangerous Delusion 20:30

2M ago20:30

20:30

I get letters from people who claim to want to heal from limerence – which is an addiction-level romantic obsession with someone who doesn’t want to be with you. But sometimes, the letter itself feels toxic to me – like they want to tell me about their limerence and PRETEND they want help, when what they really want to is to tell anyone who will li…

1
Unhealed Disorganized Attachment Triggers Emotional Abuse 16:15

2M ago16:15

16:15

A Disorganized Attachment style is a trauma wound that can drive you to LONG for love and then push it away again and again, every time you feel irritated, or vulnerable, or disappointed. Childhood trauma is almost always the cause of this, and THAT wasn’t your fault. But when you need to manage your well being by constantly breaking up with someon…

1
Do This to Lift Your Mood Immediately 26:08

2M ago26:08

26:08

Life will always have hardships, but everything you do to improve your life will run aground unless you know how to also lift your mood. It's not just happy talk. In this video I teach actions you can take right away to start feeling better, and to gradually change your life. Eleven Strategies to Feel Happier Today: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.l…

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Yes, Anger Can Be Healthy But NOT Like This (4-Video Compilation) 1:30:20

2M ago1:30:20

1:30:20

** Anger is a natural emotion. It exists to activate you in the face of danger, and as a response to unjust treatment. Anger is healthy... unless it gets stuck in a loop and can't be processed into either action, or memory. In this 4-video compilation, I share some of my most popular videos on the proper role of anger in our lives, and how unchecke…

1
Happiness Begins When You Know What You're Here For 17:26

2M ago17:26

17:26

Everyone longs to live a purposeful life. You need intuition and persistence to discover what you're here to do, but childhood trauma can block this awareness, and keep you feeling trapped and unable to find your purpose. In this video I respond to a letter from someone who feels lost; hear my advice for steps to take to find and live your life's p…

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People Who KNOW They're Inflicting Emotional Damage Need to Hear THIS 18:16

2M ago18:16

18:16

There's an urban legend out there that if you think you might be a narcissist, you're not a narcissist. Many people display narcissistic behaviors at times, and are wise to be aware and work on that. But in this video, I share I letter from a man who believes he's a narcissist and almost sounds like he wants to stop hurting others. Is he trying to …

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The Real Reason It's So Hard to Recover from Childhood PTSD 23:54

3M ago23:54

23:54

Abuse and neglect in childhood can set in motion lifelong trauma symptoms. The people who hurt you are 100% responsible for this harm, and it's good if you can acknowledge that it's not your fault. It's also true that in adulthood, many of us continue to retraumatize ourselves with what I call "self-defeating behaviors." These are the habits and te…

1
Focusing Too Much on Others Damages Your Life (4-Video Compilation) 1:48:41

3M ago1:48:41

1:48:41

Many people misunderstand what codependency actually is -- a compulsion to donate all your focus to another person's life, and then to try to control them and extract your happiness from the hope that THEY will change. In this compilation, I share four of my most popular videos about codependency and the ways people with trauma are particularly vul…

1
How Casual Sex TRICKS YOUR MIND 12:46

3M ago12:46

12:46

Here’s something I WISH I had known when I was younger, so YOU can avoid some of the mistakes I made that cost me years of happiness. Casual sex sounds like it’s ordinary and fun and not a problem, and evidently that’s true for a lot of people. But if you have attachment wounds (and this is especially for young women) the emotional bonding that sex…

1
The Constant Push/Pull of Their Affection Grinds You Down 15:15

3M ago15:15

15:15

Healthy people run screaming from avoidant partners. But there’s something about neglect in childhood that primes you to fall harder for someone when they constantly pull you in and then push you away. At first see it, and it gives you pause. But if you stay with them, and you keep hoping that THIS time will be different, your thinking and percepti…

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The "Upper Limit Problem" Hits When You're Taking Big Steps UP 16:04

3M ago16:04

16:04

It's hard to explain, but just when you're accomplishing positive things in your life, obstacles and discouragement appear your path in the form of criticisms, attempts to stop your work, and self-sabotage from within. Author Gay Hendricks calls this "the upper limit problem." I call it "the nefarious force": Those of us with CPTSD seem especially …

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If It Doesn't Help You Re-Regulate, It Probably Won't Help (4-Video Compilation) 1:10:49

3M ago1:10:49

1:10:49

We now know there's an underlying trauma symptom that drives almost all the others: Neurological dysregulation. And until you learn to notice it and get re-regulated, it can hold you back and complicate every part of your life. In this four-video compilation I share four of my most popular videos on dysregulation. Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: h…

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CPTSD Partners Only Change When THIS Happens 17:35

3M ago17:35

17:35

Anyone with CPTSD can admit (if we're honest) that our symptoms can be VERY hard on those who love us. We lash out and become emotionally dysregulated, and we sometimes mistakenly believe that others are CAUSING us to to feel the massive waves of anger and and grief that come welling up from the wounds of the past. Healing work helps us gain clarit…

1
Limerence For Someone Who Rejected You IS a Form of Avoidance 26:10

3M ago26:10

26:10

Your mind plays tricks on you when you fall in love with a long-distance loner who says flat out they don’t want a relationship. This absent character, present only as an electronic voice or a digital image but never as a real person at your side who loves you -- ican be the perfect blank canvas for lament fantasies. “If only we could be together…”…

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Runkle Podcasts

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Guide de référence rapide