The Couples Healing podcast is a resource to help husbands in their porn addiction recovery and to help couples restore the trust and connection again in their marriage. The effects of pornography addiction or sex addiction can be devastating individually and in the relationship, but with the right approach, men can learn how to stop watching porn, heal the pain it causes his wife, and rebuild trust again in the marriage. Each episode is designed to give you new insights, tools, and strategi ...
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Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
Emily & Johnny Spigelmire | Christian Marriage Recovery Coaches
***Top 1.5% Global Podcast*** Dear Betrayed, Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had? Dear Betrayer, Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and y ...
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Need help with sexual addiction, pornography, or sexual purity issues? You are not alone. We are walking the road of recovery, and this podcast is a casual approach to finding help, hope, and healing.
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https://castimonia.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/Episode-118_-Robert-Switala-Interview.mp3 Today on Episode 18, Chris has the privilege of interviewing Robert Switala. Robert is an engineer by trade turned Licensed Mental Health Counselor. He is the owner of Mindview Mental Health Counseling. Chris invited Robert to join the podcast today when he …
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89 | Considering Divorce After Sexual Betrayal? 3 Good Reasons to Stay Married
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After infidelity in marriage is discovered, many questions arise and decisions need to be made. Questions like: Is this real? How could this happen to me? And one of the more frequently asked questions, What do I do now? Last week, in episode #88, we told the story of our journey toward "making a decision and burning the ships". Today, we follow up…
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179: Critical Advice For Men Who Aren't Free From Porn For 90 Days Yet
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The 90-Day Freedom Trap: A Critical Warning If you've been trying to quit pornography but can't stay free for more than 90 days, there's a crucial mistake you need to know about. As a therapist, I see this same issue holding back almost every man who comes to me for help. And wives, this matters for you too - it will help you understand whether you…
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88 | Make a Decision and Burn the Ships
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Often in life, we come to a point where we need to make an important decision. A decision that could alter the trajectory of the rest of our lives. Yes, that kind of decision. Have you had to make such decisions?? When it comes to recovering from sexual betrayal in marriage, these kinds of decisions can come up very soon after the discovery of adul…
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178: 3 Safety Indicators When It’s Hard For Her to Believe He’s Telling the Truth
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Trust Once Broken: How She Can Know He's Really Changed? When pornography breaks trust in a relationship, it creates a painful pattern. He promises he's done, but then more truth comes out months later. After this happens multiple times, many wives ask the same haunting question: "How do I know he's not just getting better at hiding it?" This situa…
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87 | Can’t We Just Get Back to Normal? Shortest Path to True Intimacy After Sexual Betrayal
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Have you gotten to the point in your recovery journey from marital infidelity where you may be feeling the fatigue of endless questions, lack of trust, and having to talk about the pain every day and you’re asking yourself, "Can't we just get back to normal"? What is normal? What if "normal" got you to where you are today? Would you really want to …
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177: 5 Mistakes to Avoid if You Want to Quit Pornography in 2025
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Think about what pornography takes from your life - it's like a heavy fog that clouds everything. It steals your focus, drains your confidence, fills you with shame, and keeps you from being truly present with the people you love. It affects your work, your relationships, and your spirit. Now imagine the opposite: complete peace of mind. No more gu…
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86 | Recovering From Porn-Fueled Infidelity: Obstacles We Encountered This Year
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As we approach the end of 2024, we find ourselves reflecting on the past year of recovery. Was this last year anything that we hoped or imagined it would be? What went well? What missed the mark of our expectations? What could we have done differently? These are all good questions to ask ourselves in light of the upcoming New Year. Our recovery jou…
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176: Why Quitting Pornography Has Felt Hard (and 3 practical strategies that make it much easier)
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Imagine being stuck in a cycle that seems impossible to break: trying to quit pornography, doing well for a while, slipping up, hurting your partner, and starting all over again. This pattern can go on for years, leaving both people feeling hopeless and exhausted. Many think this cycle is just part of recovery - like climbing a mountain over and ov…
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https://castimonia.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Season-8-Episode-17_-Purity-Podcast-Holiday-Edition.mp3 The holidays can bring joy and celebration, but they can also amplify struggles—whether it’s stress, loneliness, or old habits trying to creep back in. But here’s the good news: Christmas isn’t about surviving; it’s about thriving through the r…
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Are you looking for hope in what may seem to be a hopeless situation right now? Merriam-Webster defines hope as "to expect with confidence". During this Christmas season many of us are looking for hope. Hope that things will change for the better or maybe just hope that the pain of betrayal and the confusion of addiction will simply “go away”. Frie…
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175: When He Doesn’t Talk About His Urges, She Thinks He’s Just Hiding Them
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Picture a relationship caught in a painful cycle: He struggles with pornography, she puts up walls to protect herself. Things get better for a while when he tries to change, but then life gets busy, old habits return, and trust breaks again. This pattern can repeat for years, leaving both people feeling hopeless. One of the biggest challenges? When…
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https://castimonia.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Season-8-Episode-16_-Deborah-Schiller-and-Erick.mp3 On today’s episode, Chris is joined by Deborah Schiller and Erick, where Erick will share his journey from an early childhood porn addiction that escalated into child sexual abuse images and his ultimate arrest. Deborah, has a Master of Science in …
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Rebuilding trust after pornography use damages it can feel impossible. Many couples struggle to know where to start when their relationship feels broken. Today, I want to share a simple approach to help you heal your marriage. Many husbands try to prove they've changed by talking about their feelings. But here's the truth: your wife can't just take…
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84 | Bah Humbug No More: Christmas (Then and Now)
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Are you looking forward to celebrating Christmas this year? Or maybe for you, Christmastime has a dark shadow over it because of the discovery of sexual betrayal in your marriage and you’re wondering if it is ever going to get better. We know how that feels! Several years ago, we faced the shocking reality of infidelity in our marriage, and it turn…
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174: Don’t Suppress Urges, Here’s How You Can Use Them to Overcome Pornography Use
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Have you ever felt trapped by urges that seem impossible to control? Many people struggling with pornography feel like these moments are scary and overwhelming. Most advice tells you to fight these urges by staying busy or calling a friend. But that doesn't really solve the problem. What if, instead of fighting urges, you could understand them? Wha…
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One of the most important steps in this process for husbands and wives is to better understand their emotions. Many people ignore or suppress them, but this actually slows down your progress. Emotions contain important messages. They send information that reveals an underlying need or something that needs attention. The sooner you can decode what y…
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83 | Is Your Soul at Risk From Porn-Addiction? Answering Tough Questions with Heather O'Brien
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On today's show, we share our transformative journey from the deep struggles of pornography addiction and infidelity to healing and restoration. If you remember back on episode #75, we had a guest on our show who gave us some incredible insights on how to Heal with God, from heavy things like sexual betrayal, shame and unforgiveness. Heather O’Brie…
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173: Improving Sexual Intimacy When There's Been Damage By Pornography Use
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Sexual intimacy is one of the biggest things that is damaged when their wife discovers her husband pornography use. It can be scary for her to be intimate because of the insecurities and fears that this situation creates – "Is he comparing me to other people he's seen?" "Is he just using me as a part of his addiction?" "I want to be intimate but I …
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https://castimonia.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Season-8-Episode-15_-Theology-as-Recovery.mp3 On the Purity Podcast today, Chris discusses theology as recovery with Mike. Mike is a regular recovery guy like you and me. He approached me with this topic as a result of his growth in recovery when he discovered that while books on recovery are fantas…
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Welcome to today's first mini episode! I'm testing something new and am going to do a podcast that's less than 5 minutes long that gives you a specific tool to implement or a thought to consider. These will be designed to give you something actionable that you can implement quickly to see changes fast. In today's episode, I share with you a specifi…
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82 | Broken Trust After Infidelity? 3 Ways to Reach Her Heart
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Ladies, do you and your husband seem to be in a never-ending cycle of communication misfires? You ask him hard questions, he gives you answers, but you still aren’t connecting and moving forward. Are you frustrated and confused by his responses, or lack thereof, leaving you with no confidence that he is telling the truth or that he sees your pain? …
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172: When He Starts Making Progress, She Gets Scared He’ll Fall Back
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Sometimes when a husband is making good progress personally and in the relationship, his wife has fears and doubts: “How can I know that he’s telling the truth?” “What if he’s just gotten better at hiding it?” “it's scary to bring down my wall because I don't wanna get hurt again…” This can be discouraging for both people, especially if a husband r…
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81 | Giving Thanks In The Aftermath of Porn-Fueled Infidelity
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Ah, the holiday season! A time filled with twinkling lights, joyful gatherings, and, let's face it, a few emotional landmines for those who have been through the wringer with sexual betrayal. If the holiday cheer takes a nosedive because you discovered your partner’s unfaithfulness—whether it was last month, a year ago, or even two decades back—we …
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171: One Step 100 Times vs 100 Steps – The Few Skills That Matter For Progress on Self and Marriage
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In this episode, I reflect on a powerful moment from a couples counseling session where a wife expressed feeling overwhelmed by the journey ahead. I shared a mindset shift with them: it’s not about 100 steps—it’s one step done 100 times. Inspired by Bruce Lee’s quote about doing 10,000 kicks, rather it's practicing 1 kick 10,000 times, we’ll explor…
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80 | 7 Caveats for an Effective Healing Apology
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Making and apology to our betrayed spouse is one of the more important facets of our recovery process. However, have you had the experience when making an apology to your spouse, it seemed to cause more damage than give relief? So, what is the secret to a good apology and how can it be done with respect and honesty that can lead to true intimacy. S…
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170: 3 Step Framework to Solve Problems in Your Marriage and Overcome Pornography
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A lot of couples feel stagnant on this journey and don’t make the progress that they hope and it’s slow and discouraging. And what I’ve come to recognize as one of the most important aspects of this work is clarity. If you don’t have perfect clarity about what the unresolved issues are, what’s causing them, and how to address them, then progress is…
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79 | Redeeming What Was Lost, Stolen, or Given Away Through Adultery
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Have you ever lost something or had something taken away from you and you deeply felt the loss? Or perhaps you gave something precious away that you now regret or grieve and want to get it back. Would you be willing to travel a potentially painful path to have your loss restored? The path of redemption can be challenging at best and painful at its …
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169: Rebuilding Trust After Pornography Use (Assumed vs Acquired Trust)
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When a relationship is damaged by pornography use and dishonesty, many couples wonder if it's possible to actually fully rebuild trust again. There are often lots of staggered or trickle disclosures, which caused a lot of damage to the trust. So can it actually be rebuilt again? The answer is yes. But it requires a very specific approach and that's…
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78 | Forgiving the “Other Woman” - A Path to Peace After Sexual Betrayal Trauma
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On this show, we have often talked about forgiveness - the need for extending forgiveness and how to walk out forgiveness. It has been in the context of forgiving your spouse for sexual betrayal, but what about the other woman? Or women? There are many different scenarios and every marriage has a unique story of brokenness. But there is a common th…
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168: The Best Tool to End Fights Faster And Find Closure in Conversations
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Are you and your spouse tired of arguing about the same thing over and over again? Are you feeling stuck not knowing how to find closure and repair the damage of pornography use in your marriage? Most couples get stuck when discussing the pain and hurt they feel and conversations end in fights or distance. In today's episode, I want to share with y…
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77 | 4 Practical Steps for Vigilance in Recovery from Porn-Fueled Infidelity
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Have you ever found yourself in a situation that totally surprised you, leaving you unsure of how to react? It happens to all of us! When we’re on the journey to recovering from sex addiction, those unexpected moments can be particularly challenging. It’s important to be aware and not let our guard down, as staying vigilant plays a crucial role in …
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167: Managing Urges and Triggers vs Being Free From Them
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When a man struggles with porn pornography use, it can cause a lot discouragement and fear for both him and his wife. So many women live in constant anxiety that the other shoes going to drop and they're gonna get hurt again. Husbands often feel an underlying sense of inadequacy because they haven't been able to quit despite their best efforts to s…
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76 | What Do You Mean You Don't Regret Your Sexual Betrayal??
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When you hear the statement, "I do not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it". What thoughts and/or emotions surface immediately? Our experience has shown us that the initial reaction from a betrayed spouse will likely differ from that of the one who has broken faith. The former will react in a posture of, "You better regret your past!". …
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166: Success Story: Mike Finds Freedom after 30 Years of Struggling to Quit Porn
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Mike struggle with pornography for 30 long years. The feelings of hopelessness and anxiety debilitated him at times because no matter what he did to quit, it just didn’t bring him the freedom he was so desperately seeking. He found this podcast and discovered that there was a new way to approach things after listening to some episodes. He decided t…
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75 | Heal With God From Sexual Betrayal, Shame, and Unforgiveness: feat. Heather O'Brien
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Have you ever wondered how to hear God speaking to you? When we have deep wounds such as betrayal trauma and sexual integrity issues, we can feel desperate to hear the voice of God. We want him to tell us what to do to get relief from the ever-present pain and anxiety we are experiencing to find freedom and healing. Today we are so excited to share…
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165: Why He Turned To Porn or Someone Else and Not His Wife - Explained
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When pornography use is discovered in a relationship, it obviously has such a huge impact on a wife. Understandably, she takes it very personal. It makes her question everything about the relationship, him and herself. She'll often and wonder if she good enough for him? Does he actually love her? If so, how could he have done this? What does all of…
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https://castimonia.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/Season-08-Episode-14.mp3 Today I’m interviewing Chelsea and Layton Boovie of liberator podcast. Chelsea and Layton are on mission to help couples understand the impact of pornography and equip those couples to find restoration in their marriages. To learn more about Chelsea and Layton and their reso…
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74 | Guilt and Shame in the Aftermath of Sexual Betrayal
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If you are listening to our podcast on a regular basis, and we hope you are, you are likely working hard to stay married after porn-fueled infidelity. One challenging area that needs to be addressed in the recovery process is shame and guilt. Many times, shame and guilt are used interchangeably as though they are the same. Do you know there’s a dif…
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164: Live Call: Overcoming Inadequacy, Shame, and Procrastination
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Have you ever struggled with feelings of an adequacy or not being accepted? And has that been a trigger for you in the past that has led you down the path towards pornography use? If so, you’re not alone. In fact this is a really common trigger for a lot of guys because feelings of rejection or failure or not being enough create heavy negative emot…
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73 | Unashamed Unafraid of My Sexual Betrayal & Recovery Story, ft. Steve Shields
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We know our story of sexual betrayal and recovery is not the only one out there, so we are excited to share with you a compelling conversation we had with Steve Shields from the Unashamed Unafraid podcast. He tells his unique and very personal story of how a Christian man trapped in porn addiction was able to come to terms with his powerlessness, a…
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163: How to Soften The Pain of Betrayal Due to Pornography Use
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I once worked with a woman who was completely overwhelmed because her husband continued to struggle with pornography use. She was at her wits end. She felt like a ball of anxiety always waiting for the other shoe to drop and could never really feel comfortable in her skin and safe in the relationship. The moment she started to let her guard down it…
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72 | Praising God While in the Storm of Sexual Betrayal and Porn-Fueled Infidelity
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We had planned to update and replay episodes all this month to help us take things a little slower for our anniversary. Well, we got of our 2 most popular shows out, but this week we decided to share some new content with you. We want to give some encouragement and a little guidance to those of you who are struggling in the storm of your broken mar…
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162: The Blueprint For When A Husband Can’t Break The Cycle of Pornography Use Every Few Weeks Or Months
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It's very discouraging for both a husband and wife when a man gets stuck in the cycle of falling back into pornography. Use every few weeks or months. In this situation, a wife feels continual anxiety, just waiting for the other shoe to drop. A husband feels discouragement and hopelessness feeling like he's not making progress despite his best effo…
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https://castimonia.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Season-8-Episode-13_-Kelton-and-Lynson-1.mp3 Today Chris tackles a sensitive topic with the help of Kelton and Lynson. Today we’re exploring a topic that’s close to the hearts of many but can be difficult to discuss—same-sex attraction. I know this subject can be deeply personal and complex, touchin…
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71 | From Shame to Freedom: Revisiting "His Story"
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It's been almost a year and a half since we first told our stories of sexual addiction and betrayal on our podcast. A lot has happened since then! We are so very grateful for the recovery, healing, and growth that both of us have experienced since D-Day in 2018. It has been due to God's help, tons of hard work on our part, and a great support commu…
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161: 3 Relationship Pillars to Help Create Connection and Security
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When pornography use is discovered in a relationship it undermines the very foundation and security. It often creates suspicion, fear, uncertainty, and a total lack of security and connection. After having worked with hundreds and hundreds of couples, I want to share with you the three of pillars that I've seen help create connection and security, …
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70 | Straight Talk: A Candid Revisit Of Our Most Popular Episode
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September is our anniversary month and we're celebrating by taking a break from creating new episodes this month, but rather updating and replaying a few of our most popular episodes. Today we are revisiting Episode #2 Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me, where Emily bares her soul to tell the story of Johnny's marital infidelity* fueled by pornograp…
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160: What If He Secretly Returns to Pornography? How She Can Know, And 5 Ways He Can Rebuild Security
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One of the biggest fears that women have in this process is that her husband will return to pornography since she won't know about it. She’ll bring down her wall, start to trust him again, and then the other shoe will drop and she'll be devastated again. How can she know if he is still stuck in his pattern? If there’s been dishonesty in the past, h…
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https://castimonia.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Season-8-Episode-12_-Developing-a-Recovery-Plan.mp3 Developing a structured plan with specific goals and action steps can be very beneficial in maintaining sobriety and recovery from sexual addiction. Join Chris today as he unpacks a few of his best practices. Here’s a breakdown of potential goals a…
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