6: How to be truly happy

BE TRUE BE HAPPY BE YOURSELF WITH YUKI MIYAKI

Transcript for Ep6

Welcome to Be True, Be Happy, Be Yourself show, I'm Yuki Miyaki. In this episode, I will be sharing with you what had kidnapped your happiness?

What do we pursue in our life? To be rich? To stay healthy? To have a great love life? In fact, behind what we pursue is actually for pleasure or happiness. If you are unhappy, what is the reason behind it? I hope to share with you on how you can be truly happy in life. The topic I want to share with you today is "How to be truly happy."

Recalling my past experience, I found that the happiness of woman has nothing to do with money. When I was 19 years old, I already owned my beauty salon and earned a 5-figure income every month. I worked very hard to make money, because my family was quite poor when I was young, and my life was difficult and unhappy. So since I was a child, I have held the this belief that as long as I have money, I will be happy. However, this belief gradually increased as I got older. However, as my income gradually increased, my happiness did not come as expected. After making a lot of money, I can be satisfied with the material life I want, and basically there is no problem buying stuffs that I liked. But I felt that something is missing in my life that makes me truly happy. Moreover, I also felt that there is nothing particularly happy about in my life.

I always wanted to find what was the reason that made me unhappy in life. During midnight I often questioned myself where was the simple happy feeling I had when I was a child? I crave yearn for true happiness I wanted to get it to find it but the more I crave want for it the harder it is for me to be truly happy. It wasn't until later that I finally found the happiness that is lacked in my heart through studying, learning, reading books, and starting to be aware. It turns out that the unhappiness does not come from the outside, but from our inner self.

Therefore, I found three factors that cause unhappiness in myself, f for me which are also common reasons why most women are unhappy. The three E: Ego, Expectation, and Emotion, which means we might be too egocentric, have high expectations and uncontrollable emotions. Next, I will share with you the impact of these 3 Es on me and how to eliminate them.

1. Ego，self-centered

Since I was young, because of the environment I grew up in, I have developed a very independent personality. So when I grow up, I was more independent and I don't like to listen to other people's opinions. From the original my self-confidence traits to arrogant thinking and behavior patterns. As long as others have any opinion on me, my defensive behavior will be launched. This kind of personality caused me to be very lonely and unhappy for a long while. Time. Because of my arrogance, my high defensiveness towards external personnel, others, I became like a hedgehog, my life circle has become smaller and smaller. When I encounter problems in work and life, no one is willing to come and give support. Because I was afraid of hurting my self-esteem, I would always turn on the defensive mode, and gradually nobody dared to tell me what went wrong and where I could improve.

So when I started to realize that I am too egocentric (EGO), I actually began to feel scared. The more scared I was, the more I pretended, because I was afraid of others seeing my shortcomings and my imperfections. Behind my EGO is a “me” who tries so hard to prove that I am right and others are wrong. This situation is very bad. Hence, how to solve the problem of excessive self-centeredness? I later learned to maintain a calm mind and a humble learning attitude. I began to understand that change is not because we are not good enough, but because we deserve to be better, especially when others give us opinions, that may be our blind spots. I learned to thank others for pointing out blind spots that I can't see. Remember, when others give us opinions, don't pretend you are good, because no one is perfect.
Accept it, and you will move on to become a better version of yourself and live a happier life.

2. Expectations

I believe that many people have many expectations in life, including work and relationships, I am the same too. After I work hard to complete a project, I hope to get recognition and affirmation from my partners. When I can’t get it, I will start to doubt myself. It must be that I’m not good enough, or why can’t they see it? My desire to be seen and affirmed has become suspicion and deprivation. Later, I started to feel I am a victim and felt unfair, feeling aggrieved, and unhappy.

I think everyone has had this experience before, right? It turns out that we have expectations for every event and everyone. However, later I learned to stop judging myself and others arbitrarily, and not to set a frame for every event. Try to learn to open your heart and accept all possibilities. Do not be restricted by the small scripts and expectations you create.

3. Emotions

I believe that with regard to emotions, everyone must have a lot of sympathy. Often, we will break a lot of relationships and friendships because of our emotions. In fact, we have to learn to see the motives behind our emotions. If you can try to perceive, the current emotional ups and downs stem come from our defense mechanism. When we were growing up, we were labeled a lot by ourselves and from outsiders. We lived our lives according to the content on the labels. When things do not happen as expected by the label on us, we will have emotions.
Do these this words sentences sound familiar? “Why do you want to do this to me?" "What should you do, what should I do"

If we do not know how to tear off these labels, we will never live happily. To overcome emotions and become a person who can be happy on their own, we must first learn to see and manage our emotions. We have to learn to be responsible for our emotions, instead of blaming the fault on others when our emotions come. You know, emotions can help us to create a better life, and can also create an unwanted life.
The so-called fulfillment of what you want, in fact, starts with you ( managing your emotions.)

When you feel unhappy in life, try to see if you are kidnapped by these 3 Es. Re-adjust the unbalanced 3 Es, and you will find that happiness can actually be very simple. Happiness starts from seeing yourself, accepting yourself, and embracing yourself.

I hope that through my story sharing, you can get more inspiration, gifts of life, and start TO create your own happiness life.

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I look forward to seeing you in my next episode where I will be sharing with you more stories about my life and how you can Be True, Be Happy and Be Yourself !

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